October is ADHD Awareness Month: My Journey to Understanding at 52

For most of my life, I wondered why certain tasks, ways of thinking, and interacting that seemed easy for others felt overwhelming and difficult for me. Last December, at 52, I finally found the answer: I was clinically diagnosed with ADHD.

My understanding of ADHD was limited until a family member was diagnosed. I wouldn’t have 'pinned' them as someone with ADHD, which sparked my curiosity about it. It led me to explore it further. That curiosity quickly turned into a hyper focused mission to learn everything I could about ADHD. Hyper focusing, as it turns out, is one of the traits of ADHD when we’re passionate about something, and I became a quick study. I hyper focused my way into understanding not only my family member’s experience but also realizing that I likely had it too, based on everything I was learning.

One pivotal moment during my learning journey - before my diagnosis - was when I watched a video by ADHD expert Russell Barkley, PhD. He described a unique way people with ADHD relate to time, and it resonated deeply with me. For years, I’ve had a wooden plaque in my kitchen that almost verbatim captures what he said. It reads, “If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would ever get done around here.” When I heard him explain how people with ADHD experience time in this way, I thought, Angela, girl, YOU have ADHD. That realization was a key turning point that led me to seek a clinical assessment, resulting in a diagnosis. This journey of learning about ADHD has ultimately changed my life. It has been a journey of learning, relearning, unlearning, and affirming who I am.

The Truth About ADHD

According to Children and Adults with ADHD (CHADD) , "ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder, meaning it is brain-based." Stephen Faraone, Ph.D. and Henrik Larsson (2019), in their article in Molecular Psychiatry, emphasize that “decades of research show that genes play a vital role in the etiology of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)... studies show that ADHD runs in families” (p. 562 ).

However, ADHD is often misunderstood. Many people think it’s just about being easily distracted or hyperactive, but it’s much deeper than that and often shows up different in women. ADHD affects executive functioning - the brain’s ability to organize, prioritize, manage time, and regulate emotions. It also impacts the brain’s reward system, meaning people with ADHD are often motivated more by urgency than importance, and by novelty rather than routine.

For me, ADHD has meant battling missed deadlines, procrastination, perfectionism, and feeling both underwhelmed and overwhelmed - without understanding why typical strategies to overcome these challenges didn’t work for me. It’s not as simple as “make a plan and do it.”

A Journey Toward Self-Understanding

Before my diagnosis, I had already begun adjusting my life in response to these struggles. As I became wiser about myself, I gained more clarity about my challenges and strengths, and I started honoring that insight unapologetically. Even without a name for it, I knew I needed to make changes to protect my energy and focus on what I did best. This also meant protecting my mental health.

This included learning to say ‘no’ to commitments that drained me and ‘yes’ to those that played to my strengths - my “superpowers.” I leaned into my creative problem-solving, big-picture thinking, empathy for others, and love for building new things and taking risks - all strengths I’ve since learned are common in ADHD. Since my diagnosis, I’ve been even more intentional in designing processes, commitments, and my life in a way that works with my brain, not against it. It’s like I finally got the owner’s manual to the brain I didn’t know I had.

But here’s the thing: not everyone has the freedom to make these kinds of decisions. In more structured or traditional work environments, many people don’t have the ability to shape their commitments. Additionally, not everyone who is neurodivergent knows they are, which means they may not fully understand the root of their challenges. I only found out nine months ago, at the age of 52. This is where leadership and organizational culture become crucial.

Why ADHD Awareness Matters in the Workplace

Many people with ADHD struggle in workplaces that adopt a one-size-fits-all approach to tasks, thinking, productivity, and time management. Rigid structures can feel overwhelming, often leading to burnout or the sense that no matter how hard we try, we’re always falling behind.

Yet, people with ADHD bring immense value to the workplace. We are often creative, innovative, and excellent at thinking outside the box. When passionate about something and when under pressure, our ability to hyperfocus makes us incredibly productive, and our entrepreneurial spirit drives us to take risks and find new solutions.

However, these strengths thrive in environments that embrace diverse ways of thinking. When organizations rely on rigid systems, they stifle creativity and limit both individual growth and organizational potential. That’s why it’s crucial for companies to build flexibility in how tasks are approached and offer considerations for the different ways people process information and interact - recognizing that not everyone has the same operating system (brain wiring).

Entrepreneurship gave me the freedom to design a life that works with my strengths. But I know from experience how draining it can be to work in environments that don’t accommodate different ways of thinking and operating. If more organizations embraced this kind of inclusive culture, so many people - whether they have ADHD or not - could thrive and fully contribute their unique strengths while also getting support around their unique challenges.

One of my most memorable pieces of feedback as a trainer came after a five-day intensive training where I provided coloring books, pencils, and pipe cleaners for participants to use. They were encouraged to color, doodle, and fidget while absorbing the material. I began this practice long before I fully understood ADHD; I just knew it helped some people to focus better and never subscribed to the belief that doodling and coloring while learning was disrespectful.

In a training evaluation, one participant shared:

"The most valuable thing to me about this training was the accommodations made for different learners. I JUST got diagnosed with ADHD after the training, but I was able to receive and manage the material because Dr. Dash provided coloring pencils and pipe cleaners. It made me really research why I was so comfortable during the training, which led to a lifelong resolve! I'm truly grateful for the entire experience. THANK YOU!"

This participant’s curiosity about why they thrived during the training led to their profound personal discovery. It made me realize how rare it must have been for this person to experience an environment that fully supported their learning and operating style - and that, in itself, is deeply saddening. This is the experience of most people who are neurodivergent - living in a "neurotypical" world that is not inclusive. Although it stems from a lack of awareness, the harm is significant. When people aren’t supported in how they learn, process, and operate best, we prevent them from growing, thriving, and contributing their full potential. We also become a barrier to them experiencing positive well-being.

Balancing the Strengths and Challenges of ADHD

People may see my accomplishments and think, “But Angela, you’re so successful - what are you talking about?” What they don’t see is the behind-the-scenes effort and chaos it takes to achieve and maintain that success.

For example, it took me 10 years to complete my PhD. I defended my dissertation in the very last month before my time expired. I had finished my coursework five or six years earlier but struggled to maintain focus on the dissertation. I knew it was important to finish - I didn’t want all that hard work to go to waste, and I certainly didn’t want to be paying student loans for a degree I hadn’t completed. But knowing it was important wasn’t enough to motivate me.

It wasn’t until my dissertation chair said, “Angela, if you don’t finish this by the end of the year, your time is up,” that I kicked into high gear. You would have thought I had the engine of a spaceship! I worked tirelessly to get it done. My research is something I’m incredibly proud of, and completing the program is a huge accomplishment. But it came with costs. During those months of rushing to finish everything (something people with ADHD are often really good at), I felt like I was on the verge of a heart attack. My anxiety was through the roof, and I was utterly exhausted. And let’s not even talk about the tuition I was still paying all those years while I procrastinated or the things that I got behind on while crunching to get it done in a shorter period of time.

I didn’t know it at the time, but that, everyone, was my ADHD at work. Yes, I earned my PhD, but the struggle was real. It wasn’t just procrastination - it was the daily battle of organizing thoughts, managing time, and pushing through overwhelm, and beating myself up because I didn't understand why I was making it so difficult.

Through Margaux Joffe's ADHD Navigators Program, I learned that ADHD comes with “friends” in the form of comorbidities. People with ADHD are more likely to experience anxiety or depression, and about 50% of people with autism also have ADHD.

I also learned in the ADHD Navigators Program that there’s a common myth that people with ADHD have a “deficit” of attention. In reality, as Margaux Joffe explained, “our attention is more like a flashlight - it’s always on, but sometimes scattered.” We might focus on many things at once or hyperfocus intensely on a single task for hours. While this attention to detail can be a strength, it can also lead to overwhelm, especially when executive functioning is challenged.

ADHD is a constant balancing act between these strengths and challenges. What has helped me most is better understanding my brain - no longer fighting against it but partnering with it. That shift has allowed me to focus on my strengths and learn about and develop tools to manage the areas where I struggle - tools that work specifically for my brain operating system.

A Coaching Mindset: Honoring People’s Uniqueness and Agency

I’ve always held the philosophy that “What is true for you doesn’t mean it’s true for me, and what is true for me doesn’t mean it’s true for you.” By this, I mean that we need to see people for their unique lived experiences, strengths, and challenges, rather than assuming that our way is the only way. From experience, I know how often people have tried to push their approach onto me, convinced that if it works for them, it should work for me too. It’s something I’m sensitive to because it’s not affirming at all.

This understanding has deeply shaped how I approach my work as an Ombuds, Coach, Trainer, and Educator.

One coaching experience, before I was diagnosed with ADHD, really drove this home for me. I was the client, working with a coach to help me commit to a workout routine. For me, working out feels like a massive task. Even with exercise equipment in my home, the act of starting a workout can feel overwhelming, and when I do accomplish it, it’s a big win for that day.

During the coaching session, I explained to the coach that finding time and committing to a workout was hard for me. Instead of being curious or open to my experience, the coach insisted that it was “easy” and that I just needed to push through, continually trying to convince me that I had the time. At the time, I didn’t know I had ADHD, but I knew this was an unexplained struggle for me. I left that conversation feeling unheard - and worse, ashamed. I ended the coaching partnership because it didn’t feel supportive.

This experience is just one of many that fuels my passion for supporting people with openness, curiosity, and flexibility - principles that are central to coaching. The mindset of a coach involves being person-centered and honoring an individual’s agency, identity, style, talents, and insights, while considering their unique context. (International Coaching Federation ).

When I was a coach educator at New York University, I always shared with students the importance of not assuming that what works for them will work for their client - stay in a place of openness and curiosity to explore what’s most useful for them. Everyone processes and learns differently. This philosophy extends far beyond coaching. As leaders, colleagues, ombuds, parents, neighbors, humans, it’s crucial to honor those differences.

As an Ombuds, I deeply appreciated an article recently published in the Journal of the International Ombuds Association by Israela Adah Brill-Cass . In her article, "Ombudsing with Neurodiversity in Mind ," Brill-Cass (2024) highlights the importance of Ombuds creating inclusive environments that accommodate individuals who are neurodivergent. To truly support individuals who are neurodivergent, Brill-Cass shared, Ombuds can adapt to a variety of communication styles, sensory needs, and executive functioning challenges. By being flexible in these areas, Ombuds can help individuals who are neurodivergent engage more effectively in conflict resolution and problem-solving, aligning the process with how their brains work. This approach fosters growth, inclusion, and a deeper sense of belonging within organizations. This is what I mean by a mindset of a coach.

By embracing a coaching mindset and recognizing the unique needs of individuals, we create spaces where people feel seen and valued for who they are. We create better partnerships in growth and success. This kind of flexibility and openness not only benefits individuals but also strengthens organizations by fostering inclusivity and maximizing the potential of every team member.

A Call to Action

As we raise awareness this ADHD Awareness Month, I invite you to reflect on how we approach others - whether or not we know they’re neurodivergent. Remember, many adults, especially those who are older, may be neurodivergent without even knowing it, because the awareness yesterday is not what it is today.

Let’s practice openness, curiosity, and flexibility. Let's respect agency. Don’t assume that what works for you will work for everyone. Instead, approach each person with the mindset of a coach - honoring their self-determination, strengths, process, and unique way of navigating the world.

In the words of Margaux Joffe, “Let’s create an inclusive world for minds of all kinds.” ??

Resources That Have Helped Me

As I’ve navigated this journey, I’ve learned from incredible resources that have helped me better understand ADHD and embrace my unique wiring:

• IngerShaye Colzie, MSW,LSW , therapist, ADHD coach, and founder of the ADHD Black Professionals Alliance and Black Women with ADHD (ingershaye.com ), who has been a powerful voice in helping me understand how ADHD shows up differently in Black professionals.
• Margaux Joffe, CPACC , Board Certified Cognitive Specialist and founder of Minds of All Kinds , whose work and words inspire me to “create an inclusive world for minds of all kinds.”

These individuals have provided me with invaluable tools and insights. If you’re curious about ADHD or want to learn how to support someone with it, I highly recommend exploring their work.