OCD! Outta Nowhere!!

Hey! Hey! It’s Mental Health Awareness Week!

Not really an occasion to celebrate, right?

Well… why not? We should champion neurodiversity!

But before setting out my stall, let me make it clear: I’m no expert on these topics. But (surprise!) I do have OCD. (And before you ask, it’s got nothing to do with hand washing and/or being a neat freak… but I’ll get to that).

So wtaf is OCD?

TL:DR – OCD = Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (but you already knew that).

OCD is a motherf*cker. It’s like emotional tag-team wrestling. It’s duplicitous. It’s two against one.?

One second you’re fighting the day-to-day BS that comes with enduring the spiked barbs of that tiny devil on your shoulder; the next you’ve been totally body slammed by its much stronger teammate; who (like Randy Orton delivering an RKO – pictured above) casually takes advantage of your mental – and often physical?– exhaustion and delivers an even more crushing blow.

Saltwater Saboteur

Honestly, OCD is like having an articulate saboteur living inside your head at all times. A model tenant; a sophisticated, suave, and logically convincing, smooth operator. But it’s a saboteur of saltwater crocodile proportions.

But… the most dangerous thing about OCD is the dopamine high you get from such high anxiety living. It’s addictive. It puts you in such deliciously endless loops of self indulgence.?

It makes you irresponsible when you’re younger; but you find more guarded ways to exercise it as you get older. It’s intellectually stimulating too. It has witty repartee. It wins your confidence through flattery, entertainment, and bonhomie.

But, the whole time it’s mining you for information; looking for leverage that can be used against you. So it can control you. So it can force you to fulfil its dark agenda.

Case in point – my childhood fear of cats

OCD: DON’T EAT THOSE MEATBALLS!! THEY’RE MINIATURE CATS’ HEADS! HEAR THEM MEW WHILE YOU CHEW!

ME: They most definitely are not!

OCD: AND THOSE BAKED BEANS YOU LOVE SO MUCH?? GUESS WHAT? THEY’RE ACTUALLY ‘CAT EGGS’!! WHO KNEW??!? YAH! THAT’S RIGHT!! F*CKING EAT THEM!

ME: HEY! That's enough! Stop now...

OCD: MAKE ME!

ME: F*CK YOU!

OCD: MIAAAOOWWW!!!! MIAAAOWWW!!! *NOM NOM* etc

Own Worst Frenemy

OCD urges you to do odd things – mostly because it takes you to the literal end of your actual tether. It truly is vulnerability in extremis – which is why it’s really hard to address with anyone. So my guess is that’s why a lot of people don’t talk about it.?

(Plus, it *really* doesn’t make sense 98% of the time).

OCD is literally that kid your parents didn’t like you hanging out with because they were ‘bad news’ — which made that kid even more fun to hang out with. It’s destructive behaviour at its worst. Often it’s directed at yourself, but it can also negatively impact the lives of those closest to you. Which is not ok.

But, that said, OCD people have unique, creative perspectives to offer the world. I mean, your creative marketing team should have someone whose brain can take disparate phenomena about say… dolphins and postage stamps, and flip them into an arcane multichannel narrative about the power of communication? (Not tried that yet, but... lemme know if that's your jam).

Not A Neat Freak

So why do most people think OCD is all about hand washing/neat freak-ness? TV, mostly… so let me clarify: OCD is not about being fastidious – it’s about exercising control over something tangible when your mind is adept at derailing.

We’re all different. We all have our own crosses to bear. But the fact I can hang mine on something makes things a lot easier to address. Not ‘cos I want an excuse for my behaviour,?but so I can better understand why I feel the way I do – and *try* and better manage it.

And it mostly works. Mostly.

But then, aren't we all just works in progress?