Observing Yourself - part 1

I get energy from what is not dual, from the Observer. For the Observer everything that happens around me and in me is interesting, exciting, and great.

– How can I anchor or stabilize myself in the observer?

– To anchor in the observer, you need to find the observer.?You can’t anchor in something you have not found yet. Find him. Where is he? Describe him. Hear him feeling, sensing, and describing it all: spasm was felt in the chest, thought was caught passing by, sadness lifted and disappeared, pressure sensation moved from the left buttock to the right buttock. That is already something. Someone is observing.

– What happens to the spasm when it is observed?

You can observe everything around you and inside you irrespective of what it is: the happiest moment and the saddest feeling, itching of the mosquito bite, taste of the steak you are eating.

Observation changes feelings, sensations, and thoughts.?

Observation of a thought leads to the?disappearance?of a thought.

Observation of a state leads to the?transformation?of a state.

Observation of a sensation leads to the?change?of a sensation.

The Observer is a tremendous power that you need to use.

• It is very difficult for me to get to the observer when I am angry.
• You will not be able to get to the Observer when you are angry. You must start to observe in silence.

Start to register your sensations, feelings, and physical tensions. Observe the tension in your neck area. Observe your lumbar spine. Feel your jaw tighten. Observe your physical body today. Observe your emotional body tomorrow.?Observe yourself feeling guilty. Observe yourself blaming or judging someone. Observe! Let a situation unfold as it unfolds, but observe it. Observe your irritation at work. Observe it when you are home.

• You felt upset with someone. What kind of sensations do you observe?
• I felt pressure in my chest area. It feels like there was a fast, brief stab there.

Good. This is what we call self-awareness.

Self-awareness is the observation of the internal reactions to the external irritants.

Man to man is an irritant…

Aim at constant filtration through the filter of awareness.

What happens here? He called you stupid, and your reaction is to get angry and to call him stupid back or to boil quietly inside, thinking, “You are the dummy. You are stupid, yourself.”

Some throw it all outside, some boil it inside.

What do you feel?

What do you sense?

What state are you in?

Observe your fists getting tight, your jaw clench, your chest tighten.

Observe your thoughts: Why am I here? How did I get here?

Awareness is not sifting something out but seeing it all as it is.

There are 3 spheres you can observe:

1. intellectual – thoughts
2. emotional – feelings/states
3. physical – sensations

Intellectual or mental sphere comes first. It determines what happens in your emotional and your physical spheres.

You have to perform constant work on awareness in 3 spheres:

Irritation in the mental sphere is observed as negative thoughts.

Irritation in the emotional sphere is observed as negative feelings and states.

Irritation in the physical sphere observed as physical sensations: tensions, pains, heartburn, itching, etc.

Start to observe all three spheres once a day. That would lead you to observe them twice a day, and then three times a day.

You came to work. Who irritates you? Is it John, Alex, or Andrew?

Are you aware of this irritation as a state you are in?

Do you just observe it as a thought passing by or do you express it verbally?

Do you sense it on the physical level?

Are you feeling this state?

– Do you feel pity toward yourself?

– Yes!

– Who caused you to experience this feeling? Where is the source of it?

– You did! I don’t understand anything!

– Are you aware of this state?

– Are you doing this work during the day?

– Are you thinking about it? Talking about it?

– What kind of state are you in talking to your colleague at work?

– What kind of state are you in talking to your husband/wife when you get home?

– What do you feel on the body level?

– Where do you feel warm? Where do you feel cold? Where is the twitch? Where is the tension?

Talk it all through. Verbalize it out loud.

I am in a state of irritation… What irritates me is…

My kid irritates me, I want to … ah!!!!

I observe myself screaming at my daughter. Now I feel pity for her.

Those are states you need to observe.

That is the essence of the work.

Nobody sees it. It is not visible to anyone from the outside.

This work will allow you to detach and de-identify, which in turn will allow you to get to the Observer. This is that tiny straw you should grab on to. You should start adding straws to it daily, and one day you will get yourself a raft.

A man is a dual structure. One can observe this structure from the state of the observer.

You feel pity toward yourself. Observe it.

You get angry with yourself. Observe it.

You get angry with your husband. Observe it.