Observe Your Words
Words have incredible power. The phrase “I hate you” versus “I love you” varies by only?one?word, yet when it’s delivered to someone or spoken to yourself, it initiates two completely different feelings and responses. One phrase can make someone feel welcomed, appreciated, cared for, and supported. While the other can bring hostility to a situation, and make an individual feel worthless, sad, and hurt.
Of course, the exchanging of one word for another does not always result in this type of drastic difference. Nonetheless, it remains incredibly important that we be?thoughtful?about the words we choose to speak because of the impact they can have in our life and the lives of others.
Words have the capacity to heal, to provide hope, to generate excitement, and to garner buy in, but they also have the capacity to be negatively life altering and potentially life defining.
Can you think of a time when you fell short of a goal? What word(s) did you use to describe the situation and/or yourself??
Due to the nature of our reactivity and being driven by our emotion, it’s common in these circumstances to speak less than favorably over ourselves. Perhaps in your negative self talk, you’ve said:
“I’m so stupid.”?
“See, I’m not qualified.”
“I’m such a failure.”
“I wish I could be like ______.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“I’d never be smart enough to do that.”
Although I know adversity is never easy, choosing words/phrases that are rooted in toxicity does not solve the problem. It only further perpetuates the problem.
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If you tell yourself that “I’m a failure” too many times in a row, soon you’ll begin walking around and carrying yourself as though you are a failure. Unconsciously you’ll believe it. And as a result, you’ll walk around with less enthusiasm and will likely become expectant of shortcomings — therefore, you’ll never try anything new.
Considering the overwhelming power of our word choice, the challenge for you this week is to simply observe the words you use in everyday conversation, and if you identify they’re often negative/toxic, choose to replace them with words that are more uplifting and positive.
The challenge: observe your words!
Too many times we speak without thinking. We become accustomed to saying certain words/phrases and it becomes engrained in our unconscious. For instance, when someone asks “how are you?”; what is your normal response? Is it simply an automated reply that never varies??
“I’m doing good. Just busy. How’ve you been?”
Or, do you respond by having engaged your full mind and answering with depth and meaning?
And if you’re the deliverer of the all too common phrase “how are you?”; do you ask with intention and genuinely care how they’re doing or is it also just an automated and comfortable mechanism you’ve relied on to start conversation?
The goal through the challenge this week is to simply help you become more?aware?and?observant?of your word choices. In your observations, if you recognize that you typically say the same things, the hope is that you’ll interrupt the pattern and choose new things to say. And if you notice that you often time don’t talk too kindly to yourself, make a promise that this will be the week where you finally begin speaking kind, positive, uplifting, and empowering words to yourself.
If you find it difficult amid the busyness of life to remain observant of the words you speak, it may be helpful to carry a journal with you throughout the week to check in a few times each day to note the words you’re commonly using.?(Or, you could utilize the free write section of the?digital journal?inside the Mindful Journey too!)?Whatever mechanism you choose to help you become more aware, I’m wishing you the best this week as you bring more intentionality and care into the words you speak of yourself and the words you speak to others.
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This was the weekly challenge for Mindful Journey community members sent on March 6, 2022. The Mindful Journey is an online community committed to well being and performance. Embedded within are mini courses, weekly challenges, monthly group coaching calls, live guest interviews, daily text notifications, a digital journal, and more. The intent of it is to provide a place where individuals can go to recalibrate and take care of their mental well being in a time when there are so many distractions and challenges faced on a day to day. For more info, please visit: www.journeymindful.com.
Ex-Higher Ed Veteran Exploring the Data Realm | SQL & Python Adventurer | Enthusiast of Random Facts & Asking Questions
2 年I really like this post, Adam James. I’ve worked with a lot of students who had very negative internal dialog that they weren’t aware of. And, they talked to themselves in a way they would never talk to someone they cared for. I love the idea of writing the words in a journal to increase awareness. I wish I had been able to make that suggestion to students. Also, I especially appreciated your questions about how we respond to “How are you doing?” Are we answering with an automated reply or are we answering with depth and meaning? And, when we ask others how they’re doing, is it an automated question or are we asking with intention and genuine care? When I ASK the question, I truly ask with genuine care, but it’s a very different story when I’m ASKED how I’m doing. I typically answer something like, “I’m good!” whether I am or not. Your article has prompted me to explore why I do that.