Observations — Why?
Pixabay Ross Mann YYC

Observations — Why?

I walk regularly; part of a larger regimen to keep the rusty hinge moving (figuratively speaking) — I could go on about some awful bike training but it would be just self-serving and slightly tragic, so I won’t. Regardless, I was walking the other day and a brief but thought-provoking exchange happened.

Shortly into my walk, a woman passing me motioned she had something to say. I stopped and smiled as she asked me if I would like to have a website address that reviews the major religions of the world and reviews great works such as the Bible and the Koran.

To that, I simply responded, “Why?” She looked at me, and with little thought, said she always asks people she meets on her walks. I smiled and said no.

Wishing her a great day I continued on my way.

I wondered why I said no? Ultimately, the reason turned out to be that I didn’t like the answer to my question. If she had said something along the lines of, “We put this website together because we have found that people, no matter their backgrounds, are more similar than we realize. With similar beliefs and truths, that in the end, show why people should be working together, rather than fighting each other“ I might have said, “Yes.” It definitely would have been a better answer than, “I ask people who I meet.”

A very long time ago I was told that Why is a very confrontational question — it’s the type of question that gets people’s hackles up. People don’t like to be asked why? It’s too direct; I was told you need to couch your search for reasons indirectly and smooth over any offence that comes with simply wanting to increase your critical understanding. (As an aside, read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius for inspiring thoughts on critical understanding.)

So why would one little world be considered confrontational? I actually think it quickly exposes whether someone actually knows why they are doing whatever they are doing. It forces the need to articulate thoughts, explains rationale of action, and exposes critical thinking and understanding. It is a word to be embraced because it forces an answer, or in the case of the lovely woman I met on my walk, a non-answer.

And for those who want to say why is a bad question because the obvious answer is why-not or because — all I can say is you are not giving a serious question it’s due. And people will say no more than you would like.

iamgpe

Adrian Moores, M.Sc., MBA

Director, Product Specialists | Sales Master @ Thermo Fisher Scientific | Driving Incremental Revenue Growth and NPI Adoption | Expertise in hiring and developing early-stage talent

10 个月

Great read, I’ve actually started to train myself away from asking others why, Chris Voss argues it infers the position of the person you are asking is wrong, but I have been asking Why of myself more, why am I spending time here? Why do I think this is important. Those are definitely questions that need serious thought and whose answers warrant a somewhat constant critique I think.

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