Observations on a 'f*ckedup' world and hope

It seems to me that we have lost our way - either that or I'm completely off my rocker and everyone else seems to have it sorted. But I don't actually believe that, I think looking at the f*cked up world we have created, is just too god damn painful for most people to face. 

We constantly prioritise superficial sh*t over deep, meaningful human connection, we judge people on what they have not who they are, we turn away from others suffering lest it means we have to share what we have, we take any kind of distraction to save sitting in silence with ourselves and we normalise our insatiable appetite for more by looking at others who also want more and therefore accept it as a perfectly justifiable part of the human condition.

Of course, all of this is complete and utter boll*cks. None of us want to do the real work, make the real sacrifices or face the real truth. We just want to remain in our idyllic bubbles, slowing killing the planet with our slovenly, throw away habits, our refusal to accept that the model upon which we have based our world is inherently f*cked and only serves to protect the rich and screw the poor. Because actually facing up to the truth requires a herculean effort to sweep aside the humongous egos, we have built this world upon, a near god like stance on not apportioning blame, so that we can simply get on with the business of unf*cking the planet, creating a new way of being that protects the planet, that gives us the air we breathe and allows us to rediscover our humanity, which does not rely on being rich enough to shop at Louis f*cking Vuitton.

Huge companies make huge profits to make already rich shareholders even more rich, whilst human trafficking flourishes, refugee camps overflow, human beings starve and a serious number of world leaders are certifiable f*ckwits, who need sectioning, not voting into power.

But in amongst all of this chaos, f*cked up priorities and ego-manic rat race, hope still shines bright. It is visible in each and everyone of us, who can turn towards our 'f*ckedupness', not away from it, who can see reality for what it is, who can stay true to the values of humanity in the face of adversity and who can be the change we all need, by simply showing up each and everyday, to do their bit to call our the bullsh*t and make this world a better place, in whatever way they can.

You don't need to put a rocket on the moon, you just need to give a sh*t, care for your fellow human beings in whatever way you can and do not buy into a reality built on superficial sh*t, that will crumble in the face of truth.

And to that end, here are a few random thoughts, that I hope will inspire you to be the change we need, to embrace your imperfectly perfect self, to create a reality based on truth, compassion and love and to understand that each of you have the power to change this world, by simply showing up and owning up as yourself, each and everyday.

Be curious not an arrogant arse who knows it all

You don’t need to know it all.

In fact it’s best if you don’t.

You don’t start a journey at the destination.

The richness of life lies in learning, in having experiences, in f*cking up, in succeeding on your own terms, in being curious, in testing yourself, in exploring the unexplored.

It is only the ‘not knowing’ that gets you off your arse, that creates motivation, intrigue and passion.

Passion for life as you start to understand there’s so much more to it, than you could have ever imagined.

Being the person who thinks they already know it all, is boring as sh*t, for you and others.

Because you will leave this life with no more than you entered it. And the inbetween bit will probably have been spent as an arrogant arse, that doesn’t get invited to many dinner parties.

So, don’t be an arrogant arse.

Be the person who doesn’t know, but has the intoxicating pull of curiosity, courage and stories - lots of them preferably with lots of f*ck ups in.

Everything in life is a lesson

The problem is the lessons aren’t always in order, that obvious or easy.

Because life is not linear, people learn at their own pace (and sometimes not at all) and we very often have to repeat them.

So, it can be tricky to see the relationships, understand the cause and effect and implement them in our lives.

And just like our school teachers would decide when we were ready to move onto the next level reading book, the universe decides what we need and when, which can be very different to what we actually want.

But if we can go with the flow rather than fight it, the transition from one lesson to the next becomes much easier. And as that transition becomes easier so does our understanding of what we are here to learn.

So, just like we learnt that the world is not flat but actually round, lessons in life are not linear nor one dimensional. The trick is learning to join their dots, being patient as those dots appear and recognising the difference between your needs and wants.

If you can embrace this philosophy, I truly believe life gets a hell of a lot easier.

Love is not complex, hard or toxic

It just is.

True love feels pure, it comes easily, it continues to flow no matter what the obstacles.

Resistance is futile in the face of love.

Anger dissipates under its focus.

Love does not need intellectual explanation or justification.

It is the strongest force known to mankind.

It’s also the most sought after and misunderstood.

If it feels difficult, if you have to work for it, it is not really love.

True love flows of its own accord without rhyme, reason or interjection.

Sometimes you just need to accept what is and what is not.

And love is one of those times.

Treasure true love for the priceless gift it is and run like hell from that which only pretends to be it.

And you will know the difference, because one will flow without force and the other will drown you.

Make sure you are honest with yourself about the difference.

Don't die without having lived

You know why most people die without ever having really lived? Because they spend their whole life chasing an illusion of success and missing it when it hits them squarely in the face.

Success is not some bullsh*t achievement, status or wealth, dangled like a carrot in front of you, inextricably linked to your self-worth, self-esteem and value.

No, f*cking, no.

Success is defined by you and you alone.

It maybe getting out of bed today.

It maybe smiling at a stranger.

It maybe giving love even though you are hurt.

It maybe allowing the world to see who you really are.

It maybe accepting your flaws and loving yourself anyway.

It maybe discovering a cure for cancer.

It maybe landing on Mars.

It maybe telling someone to f*ck off and setting your boundaries.

It maybe paying your credit card bill.

It doesn’t matter what others or the status quo think success should be - the only thing that matters is what success feels like and looks like to you.

Please do not miss the very ordinary and perfectly achievable successes in your life, just because they don’t wear prada, have millions of followers, or earn sh*t loads of dosh.

Move to your own beat, listen to your own voice and define your own success.

And boll*cks to what anyone else thinks.

Purpose is really quite simple

I’m not here to be the best, fastest, most successful, richest or cleverest person in the world.

Comparison with others is meaningless unless your ego needs a fix, or you enjoy self-flagellation.

I’m simply here to make the world a better place, in whatever way I can, with whatever I have.

And to be honest, I really don’t give a sh*t about anything else - not fame, others opinions of me, status, money or even belonging, not if it compromises the very essence of me.

The bravest thing any of us can really do, is to be honest about what we really give a f*ck about and then get on and actually give those f*cks to someone or something, that actually matters.

That’s about as complex as anyone’s purpose ever needs to get.

Be happy now

It’s ok to be happy right now, with what you have, doing what you do, being who you are.

Bigger is not always better.

More is not always needed.

Further is not always right.

Do not miss what you have by constantly looking at what you do not have.

Do not hide who you are to be someone you are not.

Do not buy into an optical illusion of success, which is beautifully wrapped but empty inside.

It’s ok to stand still, to be in the here and now without constantly seeking more.

It doesn’t mean you can’t have dreams or aspirations, it just means you don’t give up what you already have for something you don’t.

Life is not a zero sum game. You don’t have to give up one thing to achieve another.

Embrace what you have and who you are today. These are the foundations upon which you can build, or not - you do have a choice, because you are always enough right here, right now.

Sometimes the change is to do nothing but simply be who you are right now - ironically the rarest, most profound change for any of us to experience.

So please, stop listening to the bullsh*t expectations of a life that may never be lived. Instead live your life today and everyday, as fully as you are able, as your perfectly imperfect self.

Remember today is always the day.

Be sh*t to be great

A lot of the stuff I write is sh*t.

That’s not self deprecating, imposter syndrome or perfectionism, just a fact.

A fact it’s important to embrace, wholeheartedly.

Because it’s only by writing the sh*t stuff that I can get to the good stuff.

Just like in life, it’s the mistakes, the rejections, the failures, which are actually the fundamental ingredients of the successes.

We do not have to be amazing all of the time.

We do not have to consistently deliver extraordinary stuff all of the time - if we did, nothing would be extraordinary anyway.

Facing our limitations and our weaknesses is critical to truly understanding our potential, because it is only then that we can start to address them.

So, do your sh*t work to get to your great work. Embrace your crap and view your bad days as building blocks for the good ones.

It’s the truly honest understanding and acceptance of ourselves, warts and all, that creates our success, not the diluted version we think is acceptable.

Because it’s not.

So, be sh*t.

And then be great.

Don't let others thoughts screw you

The minute you think about what people will think your screwed.

You will never take that action, write that word or tell that story.

The point of being you is not to please others, fit into an artificial ‘norm’, contribute to a superficial existence or peddle the same bullsh*t that everyone else is peddling and then wonder why no one hears yours.

It’s actually to be you. That’s how you empower others. That’s how you create a meaningful reality. That’s how you make your dent in the universe.

It is the fear of judgement, of what others might think, of being an outcast that steals your potential, shackles your soul and leads nowhere but to the door of regret.

You can say, think or be whatever it is that is true to you.

People may or may not like it.

And it’s up to you whether you choose to give a sh*t about that or not.

And I can say with certainty, that if you’ve been true to yourself, with a good intent and a courageous heart, giving a sh*t about judgement, really becomes quite irrelevant.

Feel the fear, see the fear, hear the fear and then tell it that you don’t give a sh*t, get out there and be who you are meant to be.

Rejection is a re-direction

Rejection - ‘the act of refusing to accept, use, or believe someone or something’

The word ‘rejection’ actually comes from the Latin noun rēicere, which means "to throw back”.

Interesting isn’t it that in both cases, rejection is about the giver of it, not the receiver.

And therein lies the irony.

Rejection is rarely about us.

Because people can only meet you at the same level as they meet themselves.

And sometimes that fits and sometimes it doesn’t.

And even if it fits now, it doesn’t mean it will always fit.

Because we all move to our own beat, at our own pace.

And sometimes that’s the same and sometimes it’s not.

So, the truth is that rejection is just a mis-match, with someone or something at a point in time.

And the only person who can really reject you, is actually you.

Anything else is just you taking the path that you are meant to take.

So, welcome rejection for what it actually is, not what we fear it to be.

Because the reality of it will set you free, whilst the fear of it will shackle you to an optical illusion and stop you from ever being able to embrace who you really are.

Please don’t reject yourself, because the world really needs you right now.

Equality is not a zero sum game.

You don’t need to take equality from someone in order to create it for someone else. The more equality we experience, the more we create.

Diversity is not achieved by a quota system.

It’s achieved by actually seeing the person, not their background, culture, colour of their skin, religion or gender and then choosing, with an open, curious mind, who really is the right person for the job.

A psychologically safe environment is not created by a politically correct culture.

It grows from trust, understanding, learning to forgive mistakes and accepting peoples weaknesses, not just their strengths.

Change won’t appear as a knight in shining armour.

It will happen with every thought, every voice, every action taken, until one day the change we sought is the life we lead.

So, please don’t buy into rhetoric, superficial bullsh*t or meaningless initiatives.

Be the change we seek.

Challenge the status quo.

Call out the bullsh*t.

Face the uncomfortable truths.

And then use your thoughts, your voice and your actions, to shake this world until it becomes a better place.

Creativity comes in all shapes and sizes

I’ve written very little of late.

But that doesn’t mean I’m being less creative.

I’m just being creative in different ways.

Like gardening and walking and swimming and keeping house and running the family.

And that’s ok.

Because having the time, the space to fully embrace the ordinary, the mundane, the simple, is really quite comforting.

And in that comfort, my mind has found stillness, focus and a much needed rest.

Never underestimate the power of the ordinary, the simple, the soothing rhythm of an uninterrupted day.

Because that’s where the extraordinary stuff actually happens.

Let’s cut the management bullsh*t

It’s ok to admit the real size of your business - everyone starts somewhere.

It’s ok not to have a defined avatar, target market, detailed cost model or 5 year business plan.

And it’s ok to ask for help, show your vulnerability and share your challenges.

Because if you’ve really got a business worth having, it’s driven by passion, fuelled by motivation, built on genuine content and will speak to the hearts, not just the minds of people.

Do not allow management bullsh*t to shackle your creativity and innovation.

If you’ve got a business you believe in, drive it with your instinct, your heart and soul and only use business practices that genuinely add value to what you are trying to achieve, not that shackle your business to meaningless processes, just because that’s what others have done before.

Because here’s the thing, if you’ve got a genuine business with real content and innovation, your already ahead of the game. In fact your creating a new game, so don’t allow yourself to be pulled back into the rules of the old game, thereby giving up the chance to create something new, which can really make a difference to this world.

We need a new way to do business, to innovate, to create, to live.

So, please don’t listen to bullsh*t advice.

Self-serving sh*t

Christ there’s a lot of self serving sh*t out there.

It’s cringe worthy, obvious and just so bloody mundane.

It really doesn’t matter how clever you are at marketing or copyrighting, self serving bullsh*t stands out a mile.

And it’s just so f*cking bland.

I’m not interested in your latest products, services or air brushed views on life, business, the economy or whatever subject you think you should be seen to be talking about - but only in a risk adverse, let’s not upset anybody or actually address the real issues, as they are often uncomfortable and mean we might not be seen in the right light, kind off way.

Honest to god, please start sharing honest, unique and real stuff.

It’s not that difficult.

You just need to stop cultivating some bullsh*t brand that no one really gives a sh*t about, have the boll*cks to be honest and share some real creativity, perspectives and stories, because that’s the right thing to do, not because your eyeing me up as a sales target, or trying to be seen to be doing the right thing, without actually doing anything at all.

FFS please cut the bullsh*t and write something worthwhile reading.

Please.

It's ok to take a break

Just in case you’re feeling overwhelmed, inadequate or generally sh*t about the way you think you are managing your life - you are not.

Yesterday we had a day off.

And that day consisted of:

2 scones with full fat butter for breakfast, 2 pieces of toast with blackberry jam, 2 bags of crisps, 1 slice of lemon drizzle cake and I chocolate digestive for lunch and a Chinese for dinner.

Binge watching 2 series on BBC iPlayer, plus 1 episode of the real housewives of Cheshire (so bad it’s good).

An unloaded washing machine and washing left out on the line in the rain.

4 very grumpy unwalked dogs.

3 children pretty much glued to their screens for most of the day, eating crap.

1 husband who was at work and busy but even so, had to make our cups of tea, as we were all too exhausted to move off our arses.

1 very untidy kitchen.

No intellectual, emotional, mental or any other type of personal development whatsoever.

No writing done at all.

And the only growth going on was the size of my belly after eating all of that sh*t.

All in all, we had a really lovely day.

Success comes in many shapes and forms.

This was ours yesterday.

Don’t worry about the bulls*t optical illusions about what you ‘should’ be doing, follow your instinct and give yourself a break.

Get laid more

You know that question?

The one very few people actually answer honestly.

But it’s very ‘en vogue’ so it gets asked a lot.

What would you tell your 21 year old self?

Most of the responses I’ve seen to this question are generally meaningless bullsh*t, very bland, uninspiring, unrealistic, untrue and feel like they are some kind of PR stunt to be seen in the ‘right light’ - although f*ck knows what the ‘right light’ actually is.

Well I’m really quite clear on what I would say to my 21 year old self.

And that is:

1. Don’t be a bitch to people just because you can. Being kind is far more courageous and you’ll feel a lot less sh*t about yourself, a lot more of the time.

2. Don’t be nice to people who don’t deserve your ‘niceness’, because your too scared of the consequences. Tell them to f*ck off, because the consequences of not doing so will be far worse.

3. Get laid more, because one day you’ll look back and wished you’d taken those hedonistic moments, rather than giving a f*ck about what people thought (who probably weren’t getting laid enough anyway because they were so judgemental).

That’s basically it.

I pretty sure my 21 year old self would not have listened to anything much more complex, nor did she need to.

Just be ordinary

Your happiness is not dependent on big goals, life shattering purpose, or exceptional achievements.

It’s simply based on making the best of what you have, today and everyday.

Real success is to be found in the tiny moments of being, of focus on the small things, of embracing the ordinary and making it extraordinary, of being able to face discomfort knowing it will pass and embracing all of yourself, with honesty, love and acceptance.

Real success is the appreciation of how wonderful it is to simply be able to live them all without fear of loss, scarcity, comparison or judgement.

Your dreams are made from all of the small moments you choose to be in, from all of the small steps you choose to take, from all of the small things you choose to appreciate.

So, please don’t give up what you already have because you think it’s not enough.

Because it is.

Trauma exists in us all

The next time you interact with someone please take care to remember - everyone carries trauma.

If people behave badly or get it wrong, it’s rarely about you - unless you’ve been a complete arsehole.

People’s trauma manifests itself in many different ways.

But there is one thing you can be sure of, the way you treat someone will have an impact on them.

So, please:

Remember that person who pulled over in their car in an inconvenient place? It was a caring GP taking a call from someone dying from terminal cancer, with but a few days to live.

Remember that customer who got p*ssed of when you questioned their complaint? They weren’t sure if their marriage would still be intact by the time they got home.

Remember that friend who never returned your call? They were supporting their suicidal child who was self harming.

Remember that boss you were all envious of? They lived in constant fear of being abandoned if they showed their vulnerability, just as they had been as a teenager.

Remember that cleaner you walked past at your private club? They were nursing a terminally ill child at home.

Remember that person from school who went on to become a drug addict? They had been physically abused at home before getting to school everyday of their lives.

So please, just remember.

Just take the next best step

Please stop thinking, worrying and planning the future.

It’s creating so much uncertainty, volatility and fear right now, it’s untrue.

Just because we don’t know how things will pan out, does not mean it has to be bad, nor that we will be unable to cope.

We will.

Who knows how or where the cards will fall.

We don’t.

And nothing we do, will tell us.

Because life is unpredictable and full of twists and turns.

So, please do not waste what bit of energy, emotional, intellectual and mental capacity you have, on trying to fathom out the unfathomable.

Stay here in the present.

Focus on small steps, one at a time.

Do what you can and put aside what you cannot.

Feel the fear, but do not allow it to stay.

Tread carefully with social media, the news and the opinions of others.

Look for unemotive, fact based information and form your own.

Do not allow the fear, rhetoric and anger in.

Do not make decisions that you do not have to and trust yourself to be able to do so when you do need to.

Embrace escapism and let your mind and body rest.

And above all, trust your instinct and yourself.

No one ever climbed a mountain by looking at the top, they just took the next best step.

Please wake the f*ck up

1 child goes missing every 8 minutes in India.

There are 25.9 million refugees in the world, more than half are under the age of 18.

Everyday up to 150 species become extinct.

17% of the Amazon rainforest has been destroyed in the last 50 years. It provides 6% of the worlds oxygen and plays a critical role in absorbing co2 - sadly it is feared it now emits more than it absorbs.

The worlds richest 1% of people have twice as much wealth as 6.9 billion people and the world population is only 7.6 billion, FFS.

Half of humanity is living on less than $5.50 per day.

258 million or 1 in 5 children will not have the chance to go to school and for every 100 boys of primary school age, 121 girls will be denied the right to education.

These facts are not meant to make you feel sparkly or relaxed about life.

They are meant to make you feel shocked, appalled, sad, but most importantly, inspired to action.

Because we all need to wake the f*ck up.

We are only ever as strong as the most vulnerable amongst us.

Our system may be better than previous ones, but let’s face it, it’s still pretty sh*t.

And we are the change it needs - today and everyday.

Open your eyes, read the facts, raise your voice, use your influence, change your actions.

Be the change we need.

You cannot aways be safe

You will not always be psychologically safe, that’s just a fact of life.

And that’s ok because it shows you why you need boundaries.

But to set boundaries, you need to understand your values, your triggers and your needs.

And to understand them, you need to be honest with yourself, own your story, your messiness, your wounds and your mistakes.

And that means you need to feel.

All of it - joy, sadness, hope, hopelessness, love, fear, success, failure, gain and loss.

The point of life is not to avoid the sh*tty stuff, but to allow it in, learn from it and then see it out.

Because unless we attend the whole of the lesson, we can never learn the whole of the lesson.

And resits are a real pain in the arse.

The negative teaches us just as much as the positive.

And the thing is, without one the other doesn’t work.

So stop looking for a perfect, sparkly life without imperfections, as it doesn’t exist - and even if it did, it wouldn’t enable you to be all that you can be.

If you want to be all that you can be, face the sh*tty stuff too and then go out there and do something f*cking amazing with it.

Because you can.

When did you stop playing?

When did you stop dreaming?

When did you stop listening to your instinct?

When did you stop waking up excited by the day ahead?

When did you start to feel bone tired?

When did you become scared of life, of what might go wrong, rather than what might go right?

When did you forget what simple joy felt like?

When did you start living by the clock?

When did you become self conscious and filter your words, your actions, your thoughts?

When did you stop trusting others, yourself and life?

Look at when these things happened, then you will understand why and then you can start to let them go.

Because each one of these steps, slowly but surely closed you down, quietened your voice and dulled your passion.

Honestly, f*ck that.

Because that’s not living, it’s merely surviving.

And that is not what we are here to do.

Find those wounds, tend to them and then re-discover your courage, your heart and your dreams.

And then get out there, move to your own beat and live your life to the full each and everyday.

Stop playing the futures game

When did you stop playing?

When did you stop dreaming?

When did you stop listening to your instinct?

When did you stop waking up excited by the day ahead?

When did you start to feel bone tired?

When did you become scared of life, of what might go wrong, rather than what might go right?

When did you forget what simple joy felt like?

When did you start living by the clock?

When did you become self conscious and filter your words, your actions, your thoughts?

When did you stop trusting others, yourself and life?

Look at when these things happened, then you will understand why and then you can start to let them go.

Because each one of these steps, slowly but surely closed you down, quietened your voice and dulled your passion.

Honestly, f*ck that.

Because that’s not living, it’s merely surviving.

And that is not what we are here to do.

Find those wounds, tend to them and then re-discover your courage, your heart and your dreams.

And then get out there, move to your own beat and live your life to the full each and everyday.

Decide what you truly give a f*ck about

Decide what it is that you truly give a f*ck about and then spend your life giving 110% to those f*cks.

Irrespective of what anyone else thinks.

Because judgement can absolutely not be one of your f*cks.

If you really want your f*cks to be true.

I’ve chosen mine:

Kindness - to myself and others, even when I’m an arsehole.

Truth - not the subjective, airbrushed version, the raw, messy, gut wrenching honesty, that breaks you into bits and then liberates you.

Courage - to be exactly who you are meant to be, to own all of you, good and bad and then to do something worthwhile with it.

Be honest, are your f*cks really yours, or what you think others want them to be?

Embrace the ordinary, simplicity of life

Do you know why so few people find their purpose?

Because they spend all of their time looking for this extra special, meaningful ‘thing’, which they think exists, because someone somewhere said that’s how purpose looks.

Sadly, that’s bullsh*t.

And it doesn’t matter how much you spend on courses, guru’s, memorising the mantras of best selling authors, or standing on your head, it will still be bullsh*t.

Because we are all, our purpose.

Just because it may not match the bullsh*t criteria that came from nowhere, was owned by no one and meant nothing, does not mean it is not a purpose.

The fact that you get up everyday, as yourself is, of course, your beautifully simple purpose.

You want to make it extra special, meaningful and profound?

Then do more of it.

Be yourself. Put your energy, your thoughts, your gifts, your time into this world, unapologetically, wholeheartedly and completely imperfectly.

Embrace your messiness, get real about what and who you give your f*cks to and live every single day as though it were your last.

Then you will truly be living your purpose.

And that’s where the magic is.

Not in an elite set of standards only achieved by a few.

But in the ordinary simplicity of living your life, to the full, with love, as you.

Just be honest

The most accurate measure of self acceptance, is how honest you can be about your flaws and your mistakes - to yourself and to others.

The most accurate measure of personal growth, is how honest you can be about the things you have not addressed and may never do so.

The most accurate measure of love, from yourself and others, is the continued presence of it, when you are being a complete and utter arsehole.

Ironic isn’t it? That the positive things we can achieve for ourselves, all start with our imperfections, our weaknesses, our flaws.

And let’s face it, without them we would be boring as sh*t.

So, don’t be boring as sh*t, be honest, be true and be you.

Somethings just need to be said

Not because they are popular or easy.

But because they are true and necessary.

Mainly for you.

And sometimes that is hard and scary and lonely.

Because some truths are difficult for us to see, hear and understand.

And others might not agree with you, or thank you for them.

Indeed they may make you unpopular, scorned and an outcast.

But you have to decide what it is that matters to you.

Do you want to be popular, part of the gang and perhaps a little diluted?

Or do you want to be true to yourself, thought provoking, curious, challenging and honest?

You get to choose.

Neither is wrong or right.

They just have different consequences.

And you must decide which consequences you can accept and which you cannot.

And that’s basically how you create the foundations upon which you live your life.

And if you find yourself incomplete, unsatisfied, yearning for something more - do not look at what you have or where you are, look at the foundations upon which you based it all on in the first place.

Don’t worry about being honest with others, but do worry about being honest with yourself.

Then you can take it from there.

Give me the job because of who I am, not because I have a vagina

If I’m to have a place in an organisation, it’s because of the value I can bring, my ability, my experience, my values, my curiosity and my passion to make a difference.

I am not interested in the slightest, in having a place in your organisation because I’m a woman and you need to improve your gender balance.

Of course, it’s not really about the gender balance, the root cause is far deeper than that.

A hard and truthful look at your working practices, culture, psychological safety (or rather lack of) and priorities, will do far more to address the imbalance of the sexes than a skewed recruitment policy.

I want a place at the table because of my intellect, not because I have a vagina.

And so I hope that some of these words, will find their way into someone's world, to help them embrace themselves, find their voice, own their story and be the change we are all sat waiting for.

With hope and love

Nik x

A bit about me: I aspire to inspire people to be themselves, to embrace all of themselves, warts and all. To re-define our reality, to be more honest and sustainable. To re-define success, to be more diverse and focus on the stuff that really matters, not the shiny sh?t, that you cannot take with you anyway.

No-one will remember what car you drove, but my goodness, they will remember if you made them smile, feel good about themselves and accepted them for who they are. It is the gifts of kindness and understanding that will last beyond your lifetime, not the gifts of gold.

I'm a mum, writer, transformation consultant and all round eccentric, doing my own thing, in my own way, in the hope I can make others smile and love themselves a little bit more.

My blog, library of curiosity, daily inspiration and lots of other things, can be found on my website www.nikdavis.com.

My alternative and eclectic approach to fashion and design can be found at www.lillyisabella.co.uk.

I love people, I love life and I love to talk, so please feel free to reach out and let's have a conversation.