Nurture you
Dear Team Joy,
I have been trying to bring Shabbat back into my life, as a practice of cultivating more rest, breaks, and connection.
Side note: For those of you unfamiliar, Shabbat, also known as the Sabbath, is a weekly day of rest and spiritual rejuvenation that begins at sundown on Friday and ends at nightfall on Saturday. Jewish families typically gather to light candles before sunset on Friday, recite blessings, and share a festive meal. On Shabbat, Jews abstain from various activities that are considered work- including cooking, writing, driving, and operating electrical devices. I have never consistently observed shabbat in terms of not “working”, but I did have a shabbat family meal on Friday nights.?
More recently observing Shabbat has looked like going to Shabbat services or having a meal with friends and then trying to keep my phone off (or limit usage) for the next 24 hours. With the July 4th holiday on Tuesday, I decided to take Monday and Tuesday off as well (with limited tech, and no work/email).
Here’s what I found: taking breaks and claiming rest continues to be really challenging for me. It’s a practice, and I am certainly improving, but I struggle to not feel slightly agitated when I am not connected to technology. This is how I know I am addicted.
Despite the awareness that this is what’s happening when I tried to stay off of my phone on Saturday, I found myself wanting to reach for it- maybe a client emailed me, maybe someone liked my post, maybe a friend said something, maybe I should check when that class starts or how the weather is looking this afternoon. My phone is a salve, something to smooth out my anxious edges.
Taking the weekend with limited phone usage and no email, LinkedIn, or any other work platform was hard. If I can answer that message, check the class, or fill out that form, then I can accomplish something instantly. It’s an infinite list to be checked off that the achiever in me craves. Since I work remotely, more and more of my life has moved online. Without consciously realizing it, I could stay in that online world for the rest of the day, letting that become my dominant norm. Some days it really is. And other days through conscious effort I resist falling into this pattern.
I have found technology can temporarily numb any existential dread, but the individual accomplishment barely scratches my itch for satisfaction.
The more present I become in my life, the more clarity I have that I want to live my life in the real world, and I want the digital world to go back to being a tool. I don’t want to live in the digital world.
But I have to admit, the real world is slower and less stimulating. When I want to clear the dishes, I can’t just click a button. I need to pause, assess the kitchen, make a plan, and slowly move through the tasks until the sink, dishwasher, and drying rack are restored to equilibrium. It’s a slow process and often feels like a waste of time compared to the quick digital productivity I’ve become accustomed to. But I am learning it’s also a restorative practice—cleaning is an acknowledgement that I am a good steward of the things that are in my care. Plus, I never feel shitty after I have cleaned the dishes, like I sometimes do after too much instagram.
As I limit technology and set clearer boundaries, I feel agitated going through what is (as dramatic as it may sound) withdrawal. But I also see signs that it’s worth it.
When I am living in the real world, I make plans for the real world. This weekend I went to Shabbat with friends, a Washington Spirits game (go women, go soccer), had friends over for a picnic, and had my parents over to spend the day together. And when I am not with other people, I find myself reading, cleaning, tending to a house project I imagined, or taking a bath.
At first glimpse, this may seem boring compared to everything going on in the digital world. But it’s also where ALL the nourishment lies that helps us really thrive.
And that’s my goal— I am deeply interested in thriving. I want to feel good and grow as a human. I don’t mean just pleasure (although that’s included); I mean balance and rootedness and consistent joy.
I don’t want to live my life chaotically chasing the next high, I want my foundation to feel good. I want my nervous system to be as regulated as possible.
This may sound simple, but I know it’s radical. I want to thrive. I want to do the work of learning more about myself AND the world in order to live a life I love. I want to live my life by listening to what truly feels good and aligned in my body, and then doing more of that… Not just listening to what the world or my conditioned synapses persuade me are “good.”
领英推荐
My brain lies to me, telling me that lacking consistent digital connection will be:
Boring. Lonely. Sad. Unproductive.
But my body doesn’t lie. My body likes rest, warm hugs, and a slower pace. Not all the time, but definitely as half the equation.
This is how we get our energy back. Rest and care in the real world. It’s surprisingly fucking hard, but it all starts with practice.
Love,
Isabel
Activate
Not only am I on this mission for me, but I am on this mission for us. I want to thrive, but I want all of us to thrive. I want you to have energy for your life again. That’s why I created Activate, a program to help people struggling with burnout to reclaim their energy, their lives, their joy, and their work. It has taken me 2 years of active trial-and-error to reclaim my life after going through burnout, and I am condensing everything I have learned, and everything I have seen work with individual clients into Activate. It will be a mix of coaching, tools, and community.
The shifts we need to make together are:
This journey is WAY easier (and more effective) when you are not going through it alone. So far I have learned alongside my Sounds True Inner MBA cohort, Wayfinder Life Coaching program, and my own coach. Learning from and with others not only gets you there faster, but also helps you ensure you stay pointed in the right direction (which is always back to you).
If Activate resonates with you, and you feel READY to start living differently, prioritizing your own joy, and showing up with more energy for your life and work fill out this form. I can’t wait to hear from you.