The Number-One (and Probably Only) Thing Holding You Back

Do you know most spelling bee winners have a relatively average IQ?

Are you familiar with the simple practices of Vertical Planning and Deep Work, which will ensure you do everything you want to do every day, not just everything you need to do?

Do you realize “successful” entrepreneurs started out with roughly the same amount of money (if not less than) you have right now?

And, ultimately, do you know the number-one (and probably only) thing holding you back from, say:

• Crossing more things off your bucket list
• Being more productive and efficient
• Accomplishing more of your goals
• Pursuing more passion projects and/or hobbies
• Generally living a more fulfilling life and being happier

Unless we’re talking about athletics, or a serious disability or illness, your genetic makeup, personality, or any other way you were (or weren’t) born are not holding you back.

Nor is it your skills and abilities. And, it’s not because you’re “the kind of person who…” or because you don’t “have what it takes.”

Drum roll, please…

The number-one (and probably only) thing holding you back from virtually anything you want to feel, experience or accomplish is this:

We don’t know what we don’t know.

If you’re trading too much of your time for a paycheck (no matter the size), you can save time by working remotely, or you can become a full-time freelancer and work fewer hours (while still making the same, if not more, money).

You just don’t know how.

If you feel like there’s not enough time in the day, or if you’re just barely doing what you need to do physically (i.e. exercise, sleep, diet) and mentally (i.e. stress, depression, addiction), there are relatively simple habits and skills you can develop, so you can do more of everything you want to do every day.

You just don’t know what these habits and skills are, and how to develop them.

If you want to travel more, but don’t have enough money saved up, or can’t risk taking all that time off, you can travel and make money simultaneously.

You just don’t know how to do so and where to start.

If you want to make more money, you can start a side-business, make investments, save more money, or become so productive in your current role, you’ll effectively force your employer to give you a raise.

You just don’t know how.

If you want to develop a new skill or hobby, you can implement techniques of purposeful and deliberate practice, as detailed in Anders Ericsson’s bestselling book Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise.

You just don’t know how.

If you want to be better in relationships, expressing your emotions, communicating, opinionating, and so on … okay, you get the point.

Where to go from here

In my experience and information-gathering, there are six ways to learn or acquire whatever your heart desires:

1. Find a teacher or mentor.

Private instruction is ideal, since a teacher or mentor can provide you with relevant know-how, and identify the areas in which you need to improve, based on your goals and circumstances.

My mentors include Dan Bejmuk, David Yarus, my cousins Adam and Zach, my father, and my grandfather Stan.

2. Optimize your focus and concentration.

Hone the skill of Deep Work, and get enough (quality) sleep to maintain it over the long run.

Also, be mindful that, for example, four hours of good work is better than eight hours of so-so work. Even at optimal levels, our brains can only do truly good work for approximately four hours each day, according to Ericsson in his book Peak.

In fact, productivity tremendously plummets after 55 hours of work each week. This doesn’t mean 55 hours of “regular work.” It means 55 hours of total work.

For example, if you work 50 hours a week for your regular job, and you’re spending another 15 hours working on something else (e.g. a side business, hobby, skill, reading), that’s 10 hours of exponentially less productive work — making the results less satisfactory than if you managed to all this work in a total of 55 hours.

3. Study people who’ve done what you want to do.

In most cases, the Internet — social media and search engines, specifically — make this pretty doable. So does reading (or listening to) books, and consuming other forms of media.

Some of the people I’ve studied: Cal Newport, Jay Baer, Ann Handley, Ryan Holiday, Simon Sinek, Sophia Amoruso, and Gary Vaynerchuk

4. Ask questions.

If you can’t find or afford a good teacher or mentor, compile a list of questions and send them to your “idols.” Most people are reachable through the Internet. The more forthcoming and genuine you appear, the more likely they are to respond. Being conscious and respectful of their time usually increases response rates as well.

5. Challenge yourself.

According to Ericsson, the best way to move beyond your current skills is to challenge yourself in new ways. In other words, get outside your comfort zone. For some people, it’s physical (e.g. an office); for others, it’s mental (e.g. a relationship).

6. Be patiently impatient.

Time is a double-edged sword. On one hand, allowing time to take its course is important. On the other hand, being proactive and making the most out of each moment will expedite the amount of time it takes to feel, experience or accomplish whatever you want.

“We have to be patient,” says basketball legend Kobe Bryant. “But as a player, you’re never patient with yourself. You’re patient with each other, but not with yourself. You want to be there now. And you work to be there now with an understanding that it is going to take time. But you want to be there now. That’s the way that you accelerate growth.”

Translation: Focus purposely and deliberately on what you can control — items one through five above— so you can expedite the amount of time it takes to get wherever you want to go.

Josh Hoffman is the founder of Hack My Time, where he helps people live a more fulfilling life through improvements in time management and productivity.