NUMBER 15 “That’s WEIRD, every NORMAL working mum I know gets help with childcare!”

#bitchesintheboardroom bitch rating = 7/10

It’s tricky being a parent.

It’s trickier being a parent and working full-time.

And it’s the trickiest being a parent, working full-time, and having limited access to family-supported childcare.

I realise and respect the fact that every parent parents in their own way, and ultimately there isn’t really a right or a wrong way to do it.

What I do know, however, is that if and / or when ‘help’ is available, it makes a big difference, and to that I think we can all agree!

Not long after I had returned from maternity leave following the birth of our first child, I had informed my Line Manager, Director, and colleagues that my husband and I would be relying on a local nursery to care for our daughter whilst we were back working.

My Line Manager at the time was a horrific specimen of a human being. If you’ve read some of my previous #bitchesintheboardroom articles you’ll have no doubt been left aghast at some of her despicable behaviours, amongst many of the other bitches I have encountered in my time.

But this article is NOT dedicated to my then uber-bitch of a Line Manager. Oh no, this article features a mega male-bitch, a MITCH nonetheless.

My Director - Gobby Grant.

I actually quite liked Grant. A clinician-turned-businessman who was rather endearing in a nonchalant way, always very smartly turned out, and mildly humorous at times. He was the self-proclaimed ‘king of banter’.

Definition: “banter” - the?playful?and friendly exchange of?teasing?remarks.

Source: Oxford online dictionary

Now, banter I can handle. And not just handle, I thrive on it.

Having grown up in a family being outnumbered by boys (my younger rugby-mad twin brothers), I’d say I had a rather good grasp of the ‘bants’, so much so I felt at ease in the workplace being a self-proclaimed ‘bantasaurus-rex’ (no, just kidding….)!

What I cannot tolerate, however, is rudeness. And even worse than rudeness, narrow-mindedness - it practically makes me want to vomit through my nostrils. Gross.

Part of my role at the time was to travel overseas to our satellite businesses and engage in social events after work. I loved travelling and always enjoyed learning about the culture, values, and beliefs of people across the world.

But for Gobby Grant it was just another occasion during which he could entertain colleagues with his self-styled “Archbishop of Banterbury” act, coupled with some rather dubious tales from his clinical days with the punchline being the “bantidote” he had offered. It is genuinely cringey, but in many ways playful and somewhat funny.

On one of our social evenings out, my Italian-based colleagues were curious about life as a working parent in the UK. We explored lots of topics, and the one that we circled back to on many occasions was how working parents balance the demands of childcare.

I personally love sharing how my husband and I approached the ‘great childcare conundrum’ because it was tough (on both of us) and makes me sympathise massively with others who are struggling to balance work and life, particularly from a financial perspective.

When the conversation turned directly to parental (or rather grandparental) support for childcare, I advised that it was very limited on both sides of our families.

My beloved father had passed away when our eldest daughter had turned just 6 months old, and my husband’s family lived too far away to support on a day-to-day basis. So, for us, we had no choice but to turn to extortionately pricey private nurseries, and, which apart from childminders (or even more expensive private nannies / Au Pairs), is the only real option in the UK when you need to continue working and supporting your family.

Anticipating immediate and unwavering support from my Director (a father of two himself), I asked Gobby Grant his view on the matter, to which he wryly smiled and proclaimed:

“That’s WEIRD… every NORMAL working mum I know gets help with childcare!”

He then venomously, and arrogantly, continued: “Surely you have some sort of family on-tap who can do a couple of days in the week to cover the childcare… just a bit WEIRD, isn’t it?”

Weird?

Weird!

How exactly can it be weird?

What a horrid and obnoxious observation to make. The fact that Gobby Grant used my situation to execute one of his feeble attempts at banter was quite vile and unwelcome.

In that moment, sadly, it did feel weird and even though I knew that his stupid, sarcastic comment was wrong I let it go - he was my Director, after all.

My reflection here is that everyone needs to seek support, most probably in the form of allyship, to ensure they have the help and backing they need to feel empowered.

I wish that I had challenged Gobby Grant’s view and perhaps I could have metamorphosed him into an ally, who knows. Saying that, maybe he was just a mega-MITCH through and through, seeking not only to make a joke out of me but also to subliminally hold back the progression of mothers in the workplace.

Nevertheless, I shan’t ’throw a bantrum’ (it’s not my style) and will try to make peace with the fact that this is a ‘bantastic’ banter-filled article.

A 7/10 for you, Gobby Grant, it’s a back-of-the-net ‘Eric Bantona’-accidental(ish) own-goal.

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Author’s Note

The posts written under the hashtag #bitchesintheboardroom represent my own views and not those of my employer. Each account is written in my own words and contains some elements of storytelling and marginally fictitious events. No personal details of individuals or any specific information related to my employer are captured to maintain the highest levels of respect and privacy. Any comments or feedback on the posts shall be taken in the spirit in which they are intended. And finally, thank you to all the glorious boardroom bitches who inspired these tales. I salute you.

Krysta Broughton-Munford

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Bitch Rating Scale

1 = Very marginally offensive, possibly unintentional bitchiness

2 = Some bitchy intent, however limited in overall impact

3 = Inherently bitchy, but could still be passed off as accidental

4 = Minor bitchy commentary and content proliferated (usually publicly)

5 = Bitchy intent established, out to cause some damage

6 = Pre-meditated bitchiness likely, possibly a deep-seated hatred bubbling away

7 = Ouch - should that be escalated to HR?

8 = Extremely high level of bitchy intent, individual is a bona fide Grade A Bitch

9 = Rude and derogatory, definitely reportable to HR

10 = Another level of mind-blowing bitchiness, just stop….