NUMB....

I've been traveling non-stop for 6 weeks, and pouring out in front of audiences of hundreds to private groups to one on one. I don't think I've ever been my authentic self until recently.

Authentic, as in, what is my truth. In my truth, I am no one, nothing, I just am. I have no agenda. I am being, as in present.

In this initial journey of 'being ness' I have traveled back to childhood, past marriages, to traumatic events, to loss, to struggle, to alcohol, to depression, anger, hopelessness, to numbness.

In numbness, I felt void. Nothing. There, is where I could hear a voice not of my own or others but a voice that said you are love, you are loved, you have love, you receive love, you give love, there is nothing but love. Be love in your beingness.

Ever since, as I kept trusting the voice over the years, and continued to unprogram everything, and I mean everything, I have through the spirit of my authentic soul, freed myself of doubt, shame, self judgement, fear, and reprogrammed myself into a place of just pure love, for myself and others. Who or what was that voice? It was the voice of my almighty creator, reminding me why I came, I came to represent and just...be.. love.

As I travel now and meet thousands of people, and as I stand in front of audiences, what I have experienced is a woman who-- without ever speaking or having the need to be or say anything profound, cute, or impactful especially regarding the subject on which I speak--electromagnetism and the science of healing--can simply stand there in my own presence. I am present.

In authentic truth and presence, from the power of the electromagnetic fields of my heart, I am radiating a power and a light so strong, that I don't have to speak. I see all eyes focused, and hearts and heads focused back. I know they are receiving. It brings me to tears. It brings them to a state they don't understand except they 'feel', they 'felt' and they activated and engaged. And then as the spirit moves through me through them and the room, so do the words. I have no idea often the things I said or what I will say next. Because I stand connected in authentic love. There is nothing greater.

This is called being the light. I now get it.

So I'm finally home for a few days, and needed a different kind of sleep, sleep that feels like you've been drugged. I needed my brain and body to just rest, rest in authentic peace. What a gift. I didn't set an alarm, I allowed the work that is done when we leave our bodies at night, to be done, and I knew I was being replenished.

Monday at 1am I finally got home from my most recent travels to Denver, I went to bed ready to rest. I finally and naturally awoke at 9:42am, somewhat in an initial 'panic', omg I can't believe what time it is, I gotta get going. Then I realized, no I 'gotta' do nothing but be. And I ended up having a wonderful day of replenishing, pouring and receiving with others. The late wake up never did reveal itself in my day. There is no such thing as time.

So I went to bed early Monday night, and knew I'd be ready for Tuesday. When I woke up and looked at the phone, it was 9:42am again.

Just now my friend Randy Mills said 'look it up, 942, there's a reason back to back you woke up at exactly that time.' So I did, and this is what I found--the pic captures much of what has been happening.

Whether or not anyone believes in numbers, or angels or anything for that matter other than what they've led a whole life believing because someone told them what to think for the rest of the lives, that's ok.

All I know is that I have been in such a place of compassion and love that it is overwhelming, in a way I cherish.

Thank you my angels, my higher self, God, JC, thank you for helping me understand I came here not to regurgitate what I was told to think, but to connect to a deeper meaning of life which is the connection with others, serving, loving, helping, giving, and knowing our journeys from the contrast of what we aren't to who we are is what it's all about.