And Now For Something a Little Different

It has been a while since I published my last newsletter. I have been reflecting on that as so much has changed since I last published. I feel I need to share a lot more context with those of you who do not know the whole backstory, and how this has made me a better consultant, trainer, facilitator and coach - in fact a better person!

It has actually been an incredibly challenging and exhilarating 6 years that has shaped me into this new and improved individual in every facet of my life, except marketing - there I still suck.

This is no sob story. Let's just say that these are the ups and downs that have led me to where I need to be - working with people from all walks of life - individuals and companies; employees, managers and leaders; young and old. There is a golden thread that draws these all together.

All of these people have been suffering from stress, burnout and disengagement.

I have always been positive and an open book, wanting to help people, so in a complete about turn on this newsletter, I would like to introduce you to me, what has shaped me - especially over the last several years - and how curses have become some of my greatest blessings.

Learning from Trials and Tribulations

Instead of writing my entire biography in minute detail here, I have opted to just mention some of the most pertinent events that have literally changed me over the course of the last 15 years (especially the last year) and how these have, in what seems like a meandering way, led me to focus my skills into helping others - people and businesses going through tough time - manage their stress, beat their burnout, engage more meaningfully with others and understand why they act in these ways (with some seriously cool technology to help me do that).

So hold onto your hats, here is a quick synopsis of some pretty life-changing events.

Finding a Different Path

Nearly 16 years ago I got married. The dream was to settle down, have children and live the dream. What you are not told is that the dream is often convoluted, long, never straightforward and, at times, pretty painful. But it is not a nightmare. It is building you up to your potential.

For 9 years we tried to have children - four and half of them naturally and four and a half unnaturally. 5 IVFs, 2 further aborted ones, 2 procedures called a ZIFT, a number of others and counselling later - and we were still not parents. Watching each other break and helping each put those pieces back together was excruciating but it taught both my wife an me quite a few lessons. Grief is inevitable but you always need that other person and support system to help you - it is not the end, but the beginning of a new way of coping. Coping with the stress and trauma of wanting something that seems out of reach; of just about bankrupting yourself because you want it so badly but realising that somehow it comes to you; that you are one of many struggling with life's challenges; of not defining yourself by what happens to you but rather by how you respond.

Then in 2018 we became parents. The route was not what we planned but there is always a way. Adoption was our miracle. The journey that one person walks may never be remotely similar to the one you do but you always have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Learn to Let Go

In 2019 just before COVID my mother passed away suddenly and 18 months later I lost my father. I literally went into a major slump and really started rethinking everything - what was important and what was not.

I was also the Marketing and Sales Director in a business that we built from zero to 8 figures in 8 years. I ended my relationship with the business for a number of reasons and the sense of relief when I left was overwhelming. I never realised how unhappy I was and how taken for granted.

This all happened in the space of 2 years. Sometimes things will hit you 1-2-3 like a boxing combination from Mike Tyson. But this is no simple boxing match. This is your life. You need to get back up, as bruised and battered as you are. The alternative is far worse than anything you can face when you are back up, even with wobbly legs.

Finding the Rainbows Where Others See Thunderclouds

It is strange how things happen, though. When I went back into the world of coaching and consulting, I was (and still am ) driven by the need for coaching to be democratised and made available to as many people as possible. I also had more time to coach and threw myself into it, absolutely loving the interaction with so many different people and seeing them thrive. I was getting my mojo back.

I started helping businesses with their AI implementations and people challenges; met some awesome fellow coaches and consultants through a collective group of professionals dedicated to assisting businesses to grow, one of whom is my business partner today, nearly two years later.

We realised that we had both been through so much and that the coaching we were doing was helping our clients but not focused enough for us to provide value that shoots the lights out at every turn. So we "niched down", looked at our skills, our experiences and knowledge, but most of all our passion and where we could (and do) change lives.

We found it in the work we do around stress, burnout and employee engagement.

And here is where it becomes eerily strange.

I was diagnosed with cancer on March 5 2024. My own skills, techniques, knowledge, mindset and personal strength were tested. They had to be spot on. It was a matter of life and death. But isn't that what life is like all the time?

Every day I focus on that. This is the part you play if you have any kind of life-threatening condition or diagnosis. I just told someone who I will be starting to work with soon that the battle is won in our minds; the war is won by a combination of treatment, support and mindset!

the battle is won in our minds; the war is won by a combination of treatment, support and mindset!

The strange thing about humans is that we try to ignore things first - put our head in the sand and hope that whatever is troubling us, our business, our personal or work life and even illness will blow over - unless it becomes too painful to ignore and then you have to fight like hell.

I have learned this the hard way myself and now try to help as many people and businesses to be proactive and nip the pain in the bud.

Thank you for subscribing to hear about and share my journey with me. It may be personal but I will be sharing some of what I have learned along the way as well as wisdom from all the people who have already been on this journey themselves and with me.

Always remember (and you will get sick of me saying this here) what may seem like the biggest curse in your life can also be the greatest blessing!

I am a cancer survivor, stress/burnout and executive coach and co-founder of EQ Consulting and Coaching.