Now for Something Different

I am retiring from private practice psychotherapy as of May 28th.

I have finished informing my clients I am closing my practice. The clock to my not doing this any more has begun. It was not a sudden decision and one that has been in the works for probably three years. I have known for sometime that this was not what I wanted to do anymore. I love my clients and I am proud of the work we have done and growth they have had. I would not change any of it. We grew together.

And that is the issue that brings me to this point of saying goodbye. I have two primary values. One is personal growth. I have often heard that people go to graduate school in psychology to heal themselves or their family. I was very clear this was about me.

So, I hope without sounding arrogant that I have come to realize that I have gone as far in my personal growth that being a psychotherapist will allow. I now must find other paths and other worlds to explore and grow in. This very thing, my work, my practice has now impinged on my freedom. My other highest value is freedom. Being tied to an office, a weekly schedule and all that goes into having a business and private practice was now in the way of the freedom I need to go to the next steps in my personal growth.

I have started to say goodbye. I have had to work through a lot of my anxiety about tomorrow. I have had more than one sleepless night coming to this place. But the growth in taking these steps has propelled me beyond my wildest dreams. I am alive, fully alive with the possibilities both negative and positive. While I see some of the markers in the road ahead, most are still blank. I came to the conclusion a few months ago, that I had to jump, and see what the universe brings.

My mentors and teachers are all dear to me and I will be forever grateful for their wisdom, their grace and their belief in me when I was in so much pain and so strange in many ways. I would like to mention my two primary teachers: Suzanne Slyman and Joan Wager. They shaped and formed me into the therapist and man I am. I am proud to have mentored so many along the way. I hope some part of me goes with them in their work as well.

I worked and learned and kept trying. My clients were my teachers and guides as we explored this inner world that was so mysterious and seemingly so often out of reach. With patience and fortitude we made progress and healing happened on both sides of the room.

So I jump. At this moment, this is what I know. I will be moving. I will be traveling for the near future. There are parts of the world calling my name and I must answer that call and see what it is that I have to learn.

Two days after my birthday this year I will arrive in Australia. The trip, 28 days long will be the first time 26 years since I completely stopped and have time with myself. It will be a rebirth and the beginning of a new life. This is the only sure marker I know. The rest will figure itself out along the way.

I think there are few callings greater than being a psychotherapist. The training we get, the trust our clients give us and the endless introspection and exploration of self and other; what is not to love? It is a major part of who I am. While I may not practice formally anymore, it will always color my worldview, sometimes for the better and sometimes not.

So thank you to my colleagues, my friends and even my family that created so much that I had to heal and learn from to be who I am today. I am excited about the life that awaits me.

Excited and Sad,

Merle Yost, LMFT

PS:

I will be doing one more round of workshops as I complete. If you think you or a client or a friend or someone you know should attend these, it will likely be awhile if ever I do these again here.

April 11, Oakland

Steps to Love: Making Sense of Gay Dating

May 2, Oakland

Shedding Light on the Sexual Abuse of Boys and the Men they Become

Myost.com/workshops