Now, Later, or... Maybe Never?!
Excellence or Avoidance
Why bother expending energy right now when you could put it off until later, or… possibly avoid it entirely?!
That seemed to be the general philosophy suddenly adopted by one of my teenage sons a while ago. For some reason, I’m vividly recalling the implementation of this philosophy: his method of removing dirty clothes, leaving them inside out, and putting them in the hamper! Every. Single. One… Every. Single. Time.
But this was more than a philosophy of living for him. This appeared to be pure, raw talent and mastery of his scientific method. For example, before taking his shower he could peel off his pants, leaving the pants inside out WITH his inside out underwear perfectly in place. It really was an amazing feat.
But I lost all sense of amazement when I hauled his overflowing hamper out of his closet to sort laundry. Undoing the damage took a long time. So I hit on an immediate and sure-fire solution… Explain to him that when he takes off his clothes, take them off the correct way and it would all be good.
Not a chance. He thought it was absurd (my word, not his)… basically too much work. Why bother? I’m not as dim-witted as he apparently thinks I am so I had another sure-fire solution for the next time… I told him he can take them off any way he wants but to make sure they ended up in the hamper NOT inside out.
Another no-go. But I’m not short on, ahem, sure-fire solutions so I immediately thought of my best one yet. It was genius really… Next time, I called him into his room and instructed him to pull every article of clothing from his hamper and turn it “right side out.” And I’d be back to inspect and continue with the laundry. He didn’t like it, of course, but he did it.
So, the genius of this was that he would get tired of being interrupted to do this tedious work every time and would just take his clothes off the way he obviously knew was correct.
By now, I’m sure you’ve guessed that this didn’t work either. He knew I was trying to teach him a lesson and was too stubborn to back down. Or the short-term gain outweighed the long-term cost. Whatever the reasoning, nothing changed. So, we settled into a new routine. Every weekend I called him away from what he was doing to come take care of his clothes (and if I could interrupt something he was really enjoying that was bonus!). It just became a normal part of doing laundry. (Although… I still held out hope he would grow tired of this.)
He simply chose to endure the inconvenience that would come later to gain the convenience of a shorter task in the moment.
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Leadership Lessons
I look back on this phase and chuckle. But on reflection, there are some life and leadership lessons here…
Many times what annoys us in other people are the very things that we need to work on. No, I haven’t mastered the skill of taking off my clothes the way my son did. But I’ve certainly avoided the upfront work (that would yield good results later) for the convenience of a quickly completed task (that yields immediate benefit).
In even the small, annoying things, act with immediacy and excellence! Do it correctly the first time! Small wins and little tasks completed with excellence have a compounding effect… They lead to larger wins, greater responsibility, and an increased sense of accomplishment.
Take the long view. When we take the long view, our actions flow not from what benefits us right now but from what benefits us later. When we take the short (immediate) view, the completion of the activity or task is driven more by urgency than strategy or thoughtfulness. And one of the end results may be that someone else is forced to take up our slack.
Pride and stubbornness render us ineffective. When we refuse to learn from someone else’s constructive input, we weaken our ability to grow, to see another’s viewpoint, or to simply enjoy a relationship. Pride and stubbornness not only have a negative impact on us but also negatively impact others, either by adding to their task load or by damaging the relationship… or both!
For Reflection
Which of these leadership lessons hit home for you? The first and last ones hit closest to home for me!
Do you see any additional leadership lessons illustrated in this story? I’m sure there’s more than what I pulled out!
Can you think of specific examples of deferring work till later when it should have been done immediately? Maybe taking the time for a difficult conversation instead of a quick answer that only “kicks the can down the road”? Or maybe something as simple and practical as spending extra time composing a well thought out email that means less back and forth or confusion later? The examples are endless…
Think of some times when you’ve put off till later what can and should be done now. What was the end result? What would you have changed about your initial action?
I took the, for me, less dramatic and less energy path - he does his own laundry. Let my son deal with the consequences of those actions, he often did his clothes peeling the same way as yours. Only this ended up with him doing the laundry that way, and clothes just getting shoved in a drawer in a haphazard fashion. Reminiscent of Oscar from the Odd Couple. At this point, my son knows how to do laundry and maybe when he gets a girlfriend in college who would prefer folded clothes, then he will figure it out.
Care Management Associate at Aetna Better Health of NJ
1 年Dad had one rule - touch it once, do it right, and remember whose name is going on your job. That has stuck with me all my cognizant life, and occasionally I still have to repeat the mantra "Touch it once" when I am doing something that is unpleasant to me.