...And Now?

Ask The Organizer...

by Devora Farrell of ThisOrganized, LLC

Why is it that on Shabbos and Yom Tov, I notice the picture hung ever-so-slightly askew, the overlooked burnt-out chandelier bulb, the starting-to-fray hand towel – all when I can't do anything to fix or replace them? And yet, I can't stop staring at them. The shoes that do look a little too well-worn after all. The silver cup that escaped the notice of the Polishing Queen. The tablecloth that's just a drop too small when the extra leaves are put into the table. And my eyes catch on something else and something else and something else. Before I can stop myself, all my “less than” feelings are having a big party. The faces 'round the Seder table fade as the imperfect “stuff” draws into hyper-magnification. And I never did get that stain out of the matzah cover. Despair reigns (and pours). Am I the only one?

Let's go back a few lines: “...'stuff' draws into hyper-magnification.” Something's wrong with that picture. Priorities, maybe? Sure is easier looking outward than inward. Whoa! Out of the deep end. Water's a bit too cold. 

How 'bout here, halfway? So tell me, why else do I focus on the stuff, and so many things at once?  As current research is showing, multi-tasking is a big lie we tell ourselves. We're not really attending to many objects at once, we just hope we are (and no, she's not either). In actuality, we're switching our attention in between a number of things sequentially, in a state of persistent fuzziness. It's probably not about lack of sleep, nor about aging (although who can honestly say that they are not dealing with one or the other?). At our best, we really can't think of more than one thing at a time. And who really wants to remember a long list of To Do's to write down later? Let's unburden ourselves of that untruth together. Whew! Feels lighter already. 

What happened to the people around me? “The faces 'round the Seder table fade...” Oh, riiiiiight. I'm a Professional Organizer. I just deal with 'stuff.' Not only. I deal with the people who've attached themselves to the stuff.  Which would I rather focus on, the people around me, or the stuff?  Pick one.  

There's something I've noticed. When I'm particularly in need of recharging and don't foresee an immediate opportunity, it's all too easy to draw energy from some version of anger. Usually, irritation is enough. About stuff. About frustration that “someone else” hasn't taken care of the stuff. About the “system.” About politics. About money. Anger begets anger, and before I know it, I'm in a bad mood. But at least I'm not as tired. Well, fatigued anyway. I sure am tired of the never-ending monologue, even when I bond with others over the shared irritation. That's not recharging. That's static and fumes.

What's recharging? For me, it could be:

∞ Walking

∞ Sitting

∞ Reading

∞ Talking with a friend

∞ Going to bed earlier

∞ Creating

∞ Brainstorming

∞ Learning something new

∞ Reminiscing over notes and photos

∞ Realizing how many fewer things I really need

∞ Praying/Meditating

∞ Breathing mindfully

∞ Playing a board game

∞ Re-reading a favorite book (children's or grownup's)

∞  Snuggling something furry (if animate, preferably a pet)

Oh c'mon, did you really think I could write something without a list of some kind? Extra credit if it includes bullet points.

And the people around me at the table? How can I help them enjoy themselves? By helping them, and making the experience more about them, I can make it less about me. Connecting to others in a positive, feel-good way is a great way to recharge.

Ready to harness all that recharged energy constructively and connectively? Let's build a bridge from you to your goals. Mrs. Devora Farrell can be reached at (973) 919-7761 or [email protected] .