Notice of Discrimination Policy

We discriminate. We discriminate against all of the following:

1. Entitlement: I started with nothing and I built this myself. I sacrificed everything for it. I risked everything for it. I worked like a dog. I still work like a dog. And yet, having worked like this for years and poured everything into it, I don't feel that I deserve anything. I don't feel like anyone owes me anything. I wake up every day and go earn it. So when you show up, realize that I've probably fought and struggled and endured 400x more than you have to get where I am right now (because that's the only way you get here). Any sense of entitlement; any sense of you think you deserve this, and you're toast. We will discriminate against you.
2. Thin Skin: This is law. This is business. The goal is to get the right answer. Win cases. Help clients. Solve problems. Keep it moving. We don't sugar coat. We don't use the kid gloves because some people have fragile egos. Can't take some feedback on how you messed something up or what you need to improve? Can't take someone criticizing your writing and ripping it to shreds? Can't deal with someone overruling your theory and completely exposing the weaknesses in your mental game? That's the only way you get better. Just get lost. We will discriminate against you.
3. Excuses: Are you a born excuse maker? Is there always some convenient excuse for why you screwed up? Are you fond of saying that it's not an excuse, it's an explanation for what happened. Just shut the front door. Might the real explanation be that you just don't care enough? That you're not thoughtful enough, diligent enough, detail oriented enough or conscientious enough? This is the real explanation. Anything else is an excuse. If you like to make excuses, then just get lost. We will discriminate against you.
4. Drama: Do you like disruption? Do you have a lot of issues in your personal life? Let me guess: You're going to miss a ton of work because you have all kinds of crazy nonsense going on out in the world. Is your crazy girlfriend going to call the office and stalk you? Are you having issues at home? Real talk: Your personal issues are your personal issues. It's one thing if you need time off for a health issue. That's totally fine. It's one thing if you need time off because you just had a baby. That's totally fine. It's one thing if you have to leave every day at 4:30 to pick the kids up from daycare. That's totally fine. But when you drag your personal life into my business and your personal life and personal problems start disrupting my business, that's not fine. We will discriminate against you.
5. Work Ethic: Just because I work 80+ hours a week doesn't mean I expect everyone else to do the same thing. In fact, I don't want anyone else to do that. I want everyone else to have a life outside of work and be happy and productive. But if you think you're going to be an attorney or a high-level, high-salaried professional and work 40 hours a week? Just shut the front door. I know, the world is teaching you young kids that you should have it all. You should get whatever you want and everything should be nice and comfortable for you. Nothing should stress you out, upset your or make you feel the least bit put out. The world has taught you wrong. If you want a 35 or 40 hour a week job, go find one. You wanna get to the top, you're gonna have to work for it. And part of working for it is, well, working. If 50 or 55 hours a week scares you, then you're in the wrong industry. We will discriminate against you.
6. Motivation: Do you really care? Are you just looking for a job where you can punch the clock, wait for the day to end, collect a paycheck, and then go home? Or, are you really committed to accomplishing something? Do you take pride in the work that you do? Do you want to be the greatest? If not, then don't bother. We will discriminate against you.
7. Skill-set: Has the world told you that you are brilliant? Did your parents convince you that you were a genius? Did they argue with your teachers when you got a B- and get that grade bumped up to an A- so you could feel better? Did you argue with your college professors about your grades? Did you get participation ribbons just for competing and losing? Sorry to break it to you champ, but this is the real world. Every day, I get dozens of resumes from people who are convinced of their own brilliance but who really don't have the goods. Don't have the skill-set we need, or, the raw materials that can develop those skills? We will discriminate against you.

Oh, and this is not a safe space.

JP