Nothing is wasted.

This morning I was stacking wood in the wood-shed and I was taken with the notion of writing the speech I would give to the leavers of my secondary school. I haven't been asked to... but if I was... this is what I would say:

"If you take nothing else from what I am about to say, remember this:

Nothing is wasted.

I mean it in both senses of the phrase.

Everything you do, think and experience is valuable. Nothing is wasted. It may not feel it at the time. Many of you will not get the grades you hope for, or the job offers you really want. This is still valuable.

Life can be hard. Things don’t always go your way, and that is okay. Feeling disappointment is rotten in the moment. It gives insight into what it is you really want.

You feel really gutted- good. Dust yourself off and crack on with going again. Being turned down allows us to see gaps in our knowledge. It shines a light on missteps in our social skills. It is the opportunity to dare to do better.

You feel a bit meh- good. Dust yourself off and work out what it is you really want, because that wasn’t it. Life is too short to spend too much time in jobs we hate, in relationships that don’t fill us with joy, or doing things because, well, that’s just what you do. When I was your age, I was pretty weird. I stood out. A lot. It never really made sense to me to fall in with the crowd. I was fortunate that my parents gave me the space to be me. Sure, there were eye-raises when I went through my (first) goth phase. Dying my hair any, and all colours. Piercing my nose. Listening to the music I did. I am grateful for the space I was given to experiment, play and try things out.

What I have learned is this: following the crowd without asking - does this bring me happiness? Is miserable. Does this bring me happiness? is the most important question for anyone: at any age. Because we have choice. Fitting in is a choice, if it is consciously made. The one thing no-one can take away from us is our ability to decide. And this is what I want to impress upon you. There are always options. There is always opportunity to choose a different path. Every single day. This is in your power and in your control..The alternative? To having things decided for you.

At any age and stage of life, there will be boundaries and restrictions around the scope of your choices. Yet there will always be a pathway through. If only you have the will to see them, and the courage to take the first next step.

Nothing is wasted.

An absence of critical thinking is the pathway to apathy. Doing nothing, is wasting life. I want to invite you to make choices about what you spend your most valuable resources on. Your time and attention are finite. You don’t get any more of them. Spend them well and you get a life of happiness.

If your choice is to invest your time and attention in binge-watching, doomscrolling and loafing. Do it. For as long as it brings you joy. The second it stops being fun. Choose something else.

And this is what no-one tells you at 16. You can change your mind. The decisions you take today are for now. Not forever. In my life I have had multiple careers. Did anything bad happen because I flipped what I was doing time and again? Nope. Did anything catastrophic happen because I didn’t get into university at 18? Nope. Did anything life-stopping occur because I didn’t follow the path I mapped out for myself at 16, 18 or 25? Nope.

Life is for living. It is for making memories. Creating adventures and being playful..Don’t get me wrong. There is hard work along the way. Making a choice to live in joy is one thing- having the courage to take steps towards it is quite another thing. It means stepping outside the norm and of the messages we have been given all our lives. The notion of consistency is ingrained from day one. Be secure. Be sensible. Be conventional. Fit in.

What if you didn’t?

I am not advocating anarchy on the streets. I’m not living in cloud cuckoo land where everyone can have anything they want. That would be about as ridiculous as you getting to the end of your life thinking “how the heck did I get here”.

I am encouraging you to think. Make choices. Decide for yourself.

Listen and take advice from people with more knowledge and experience than you. Take it with caution. Only you know inside you what is right for you. Their advice is a gift- you can choose to take it or not. It is your right to make, what other people think is an unwise decision. You will live with the consequences- both for yourself and the impact you have on the people around you.

This is the curse of thinking: you will upset people from time-to-time. You will have to live with the disappointment of others as you choose your own path. You will have to navigate saying goodbye to friends and loved ones as you go on your separate journeys. As scary as this may feel, what I know is you will always meet new and wonderful people. Some of whom will be transient, and others will stay with you for the ride.

Choose your people well. It is okay to choose to distance yourself from people who no longer fit with who you are today and who you want to be. You are allowed to change and sometimes this means changing who you invest your time and attention with. You will always have the memories you created together. There will always be new memories to be made.

Go forth into the world choosing a path which brings you happiness. Consciously make choices. Live with what life throws you and enjoy the ride.

Nothing is wasted."

And if my school (or anyone reading this) does want me to speak at their event... drop into my DM's. It'd be a pleasure to be on your stage.