There is nothing more whole than a broken heart

B``H

A few weeks ago my daughter brought over a very good friend of her’s named Chava, to stay with us for Shabbos. As we were getting to know a little bit about her and her family, my daughter, knowing that I always liked a good story, said, “Dad, wait until you hear this one about my friend’s parents.” I was all ears.

Chava began her story, “My parents were originally from Ireland. My mom was born Jewish, however, unaffiliated, and my dad was not Jewish. They met in their late teens and became friends. They would have deep intellectual conversations about life and each respected the other’s views on many different subjects. When the subject of religion came up, my dad was very inquisitive about the Jewish religion. My mom shared with him as much as she knew, but unfortunately, she was limited in her studies.

Their relationship grew stronger. Then one day, they arranged to meet in the village square, but to my mom’s horror, my dad never showed up. She searched for him for weeks. It was as if he had just vanished into thin air and no one knew what had happened to him. He was gone and her heart was broken.

Fast forward to two years later, when my parents happened to bump into each other in a bookstore in their town. They both were genuinely happy to see each other and once again planned to catch up on things; this time over coffee.

Over their coffee, my mom related to him how hurt she was that he never showed up that day. She told him she had searched for him for weeks, but to no avail. No one knew his whereabouts, including his own family. My mom told him that his questions about her religion and their discussions about life inspired her to learn more about her heritage, and for the last two years she had been studying with the Rabbi and his family. My mom finally let out her fury and asked my dad about his sudden disappearance.

My dad explained that when he got to the town square on the day that he was supposed to meet her, he saw her carrying on with someone else. He was so shocked and hurt that his heart broke into many pieces. He picked up his stuff and decided to go away for a little while to collect his thoughts. He spent some time in the mountains meditating and enjoying nature. He then decided that there was something fascinating about faith and religion and he decided to learn more about it. He told my mom that he had spent the last two years exploring and learning about the different faiths that exist and that just a few weeks ago he had converted to Judaism. My parents discussed what had gone wrong, and it was only then that my dad realized the dreadful mistake he made rushing to judgment about my mom; mistaking her for a look-alike girl who had lived in the same town. The whole calamity was unfortunately fueled by my mom’s arriving a little late.

My parents both decided to study in Israel that year and by the end of the year they were married.”

In this week’s Parsha, Moshe breaks the tablets that The Ten Commandments were written on when he sees the Jewish people serving the golden calf that they created. There are several questions asked. First, is, why break the tablets? The tablets were a precious and holy gift from G-d; and who gave Moshe the right to break them? Later, it is also explained that Hashem thanks Moshe for breaking them. Why? Do we also learn that the broken tablets were later placed together with the second set of tablets in the Holy Ark. Why? Do they not represent a result of a fractured relationship?

Chasidus explains that a healthy person is one who on one hand has healthy self-esteem, and is in clear acknowledgment of his G-d given strengths and talents; and on the other hand, is filled with humility and understanding that infinite wisdom and good cannot be contained in a limited vessel. The identity is where a person lives with this constant duality of accomplishing great things in this world, but not allowing those deeds to completely characterize who they are. Rather, one must be open and willing to push his knowledge and success to the side in order to be an open vessel to receive new levels of growth and wisdom. The Broken Tablets represent the need to be vulnerable and humble to recognize one’s limitations and allow oneself to let go of the old limiting thoughts and be open to new knowledge to grow and develop into someone better and more improved. When we let go and free ourselves to accept who we are, the broken, together with the complete, we can reach new heights that are infinitely higher than before.

So Moshe broke the tablets and picked them up and placed them in the Holy Ark with the second tablets, and Hashem replied to Moshe, “Yasher Koach.” (Thank You.)

Have a wonderful Shabbos.

Yitzchok Friedman