But Nothing!

Want a leadership hack? One simple thing that will make a noticeable impact to your effectiveness as a leader. Ready here it is…change BUT to AND when communicating. Seriously, it is simple enough and it can be amazingly impactful. I have been working on this for the past several months. It is becoming more “muscle memory” to me now and really does make a difference.

Why does this matter? It appears that the word BUT negates everything you said up to this point. It is almost as though what you said wasn't important or didn't need to be listened to, and the part of what you are saying after the word BUT is the important part.

Let’s break that down.

“He is a good nurse, very compassionate and a strong clinician, but he can have a bad attitude”. What is heard is “…good nurse…BAD ATTITUDE… Translation = not a good nurse. Maybe there are reasons for the attitude that require more understanding and work to improve this individual’s performance. However, by saying BUT the listener may not “give” this person the benefit of the doubt to even work out the concerns. At this point the listener doesn't want to learn more about this person.

Another example, “She is a good director. Her budgets and productivity are always on track and her departments outcomes meet or exceed standards, but she is a stickler for the rules and is hard to work for”. What is heard is “…good outcomes…DIFFICULT PERSON…” That may not be the intended meaning. The power of our words is unmistakable. By saying but we have inadvertently turned this director in to someone who has the label of being difficult to work for. That may not be the fair take-away from this conversation.

Try this practice. Change BUT to AND. It is effective and if you can break yourself of this habit it really will make a difference.