My Transitions In and Out of Paid Work

My journey:

I have left the paid workforce four times in my 30-year career, returning three times thus far. Over that time, I’ve come to terms with the discomfort that jumping into the abyss of the unknown induces. Here are my experiences and some reflections:

2005 – Leaving the first time: I cobbled together a 6-month maternity leave for my second child and still remember the moment, after I decided not to return, when someone asked me “What do you do?” I burst into tears and said “LACTATE!” My identity had been so bound up in my employment that I didn’t know who I was without a business card and a title. SO – I created a business card (now I have a QR code) and complemented my mom-job with really deep and profound work in the volunteer space. I also swore I wouldn’t actually ask people “what do you do”. Instead, I ask people “How do you spend your time?” – which nets me much more interesting and fulfilling answers.

2009 – Returning the first time: I wanted to return to paid work (again – being a parent is still work) but it was the depths of the recession. I also wanted to specifically work in the areas of either education or environment. Through a friend, I was able to speak with a recruiter on the Kindle. When we spoke, though, he said I didn’t have enough social media experience on my resume for them to consider me. To be clear, I had A LOT of social media experience – but through my volunteer engagements. Thus, I hadn’t put it on my resume. After sharing that point, I added “plus – social media isn’t rocket science, and I have a rocket science degree (I do)”. To which he laughed but said he still wouldn’t interview me for the position. {Punchline here is that, when I was sworn in as Ambassador, I was the first federal official to do so on an electronic device. The image of that swearing-in went viral and it was, I believe, the biggest social media hit that the Kindle has had – especially since the story keeps cropping up whenever folks have novel swearing-ins}.

I ultimately found a job at Microsoft in the education team but even then, it was not commensurate with where I had been in my career when I left Expedia. Plus – when I started, I was ill-prepared for how the work world had changed and what the VP over the division expected in terms of work format and deliverables. In fact, I still remember being mid-business trip at the baggage carousel in Paris a month into the job when that VP pulled me aside and said “Suzi, I’m not sure this is going to work out.” {Sidenote: that was a super shitty way to treat an employee and to deliver feedback – but I didn’t think about responding to him. Instead, I just cried. A lot}. Fortunately, I got my sea legs – but it took me a good 6-12 months to do so. And maybe getting that job and not the Kindle job was a nudge from the universe because I learned about project-based-learning and 21st century skills – which then fueled my understanding of and work on apprenticeships as Ambassador. Key lessons: either do pre-training to be ready for the specific work OR set your and your leadership’s expectations that, while you can do Herculean tasks in life – new work can mean new muscle development – and that can take time and mentorship. Also – as you work on your resume, it’s okay to include the skills gained from unpaid work. Heck – if you’re the head of the PTA – you’ve learned substantial negotiation skills. If you’re the treasurer of a non-profit, you’re learning finance. Logistics, communications, coaching, etc… are skills that emerge from lots of unpaid/volunteer/parenting experiences!

2012: Leaving the second time: I left because of struggles one of my kids was having (note - they're great now). I also left because my manager at the time sucked the joy out of the work and I couldn’t rationalize working for someone who demeaned me at the same time I was sacrificing time with my kids. I am very blessed that I had the economic flexibility to make that decision. That said – it was still a tough decision because I thought it meant the end of my career. However, it was the very best decision I’ve ever made. And anyone who knows my kids knows that’s true. Key lesson: follow your heart. OH – and it also gave me more time to engage on the Obama campaign and helped them see me in action even more substantially. This then proved that, when one door closes, another opens.

2014: Returning the second time: I will be forever grateful to President Obama and his team that they saw me, recognized my abilities and skills and asked me to serve as US Ambassador. That has led me on a path about which I had never dreamed. Fortunately, I was well-supported in that return to work, got training and was able to apply what I had learned as a leader and working for leaders in the past to create workplaces that are supportive, fulfilling, meaningful, safe and fun for my teams.

2017/2018/2021: There were several transitions in there that were more organic, so I’ll just share two points in time:

• Jan 2017 - Leaving the third time: This was not a decision I made. This was a decision that voters made. Trump won and, even though he didn’t plan to allow President Obama’s Ambassadors to continue, I wasn’t going to work for him for a millisecond.
• Aug 2021 – This was the most grueling departure decision I’ve made. I loved my work for the Biden administration running ETA. I loved my team (still do) and I loved the impact we were having. However, I love my family more. As I shared in LinkedIn at the time, I had to choose between being a great Acting Assistant Secretary and being a great Mom/Wife/Daughter. There’s no competition.

And I’m intensely proud to share that my latest review from my teenage kid was “You’re a great mom”.

Someday, a long time from now, when I’m leaving this world, I won’t care if I’m holding titles. But I WILL care if I’m holding my family members' hands!