Notes to Self: Lessons from the Dying

I was reflecting on a heartbreaking flight we provided for a Give A Mile family.? The unthinkable happened to Stewart and Diana their 4-year-old son was flown with Diana from Prince George to the Intensive Care Unit in Vancouver on a medical flight. Initially it was felt that he would stabilize with treatment in the ICU.?Sadly, he deteriorated and when Stewart reached out to Give A Mile late in the evening of July 15th he was desperate to get to Vancouver to see his son before he died.?? We were able to get him on a flight at 6:30am the next morning and he was able to be there when his son passed away.?

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The work we do at Give A Mile is very deeply moving, challenging, rewarding, heart breaking, heart filling, and much of the time beyond words.? On a couple occasions people have asked me does it depress you to be dealing with death so much.? Flight stories do hit hard and take time to process, but overall, the families I have connected with through Give A Mile have given me more than they have taken.? Here are a few of the key lessons they have taught me:

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1.??????? Everything happens for a reason.? I find that one hard to process especially when you see a death of a small child.? What the families have taught me is I will find reason is everything that happens. What these families have shown me is it is our hardest times that make or break us.? The courage, love, and compassion I have seen by these families has made me strive to be stronger.? The way they have stood up to these devastating moments have shown me you can raise up your character, your perseverance, your courage, even in the most daunting times.

2.??????? Perspective is everything.? I can be having a hard day at work or complaining about something and then I see a family’s flight story.? By the grace of God go I. ?I am constantly reminded of how fortunate I am, how my problems could be so much larger.? How much I have to be grateful for.? Humility and empathy are important things while we walk through this world. ?

3.??????? These flights have taught me the concept that John Koenig describes as “sonder”.? He defined this through the creation of "Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows," a project that invents words to describe complex or nuanced human emotions and experiences. The term "sonder" is defined as the realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.? It is easy to get caught up in our own drama and feel others’ lives are so much simpler and easier than our own.? The lesson has been to understand that everyone we encounter is us. This human experience we are having with its doubts, joys, pains, sorrows, and triumphs is the same for the person sitting on the bus beside me or the person passing by on the street.? ?

4.??????? Impermanence is empowering.? Yes, we will all die.? It’s a fact we like to avoid but a hard truth. I know people feel looking at it can be depressing.? There is another way to look at impermanence.? Coming to terms with the fact that I will only be here for a short period of time is motivating to do the things one wants to do.? To have courage to chase your dreams and the things that give you passion.? Impermanence means there will be a time very soon where you won’t be able to chase your passion.? The simple fact that time will run out feels a much stronger motivator then some embarrassment I will face from trying things. After all who remembers that slight embarrassment from 6 months ago, a year ago. How good is an ice cream cone when you know it may be your last?? How present should we be in the amazing sunset that is slowly disappearing into the night sky.?