Notes to My Kids

I started writing this when Kyndra, my daughter, was about three years old. Now she is twenty-two and married. Logan, my son is sixteen. These are lessons I’ve learned from life, reading, seminars and them, my children. I know I don’t always do all of these, but I am trying. Let’s say I aspire to. My hope is you, the reader, keep this and add to it for your kids. Add your own notes to mine. Use it as a tool now and in the future.

ASK QUESTIONS. ONE OF YOUR TEACHERS (PARENTS) WILL EVENTUALLY ANSWER. JUST DON’T WHINE. It is okay to be curious. If you are not getting any response or the response you want, rephrase the question. Be as clear as you can. Sometimes you may not like the answer, but at least you will know.

SIT UPFRONT. This applies to everything. You can hear better, see better and be heard when you have a question. If there are things or people in your way, you may miss out. The only people who will tease you are the losers in the back. There is more to things than appears on the surface of every speaker. Be it a teacher or seminar speaker; if you are not upfront you will probably miss it.

DON’T LISTEN TO KIDS WHO HAVE WORSE GRADES THAN YOU, OR PEOPLE WHO MAKE LESS MONEY THAN YOU DO. These people speak from a position of envy and will try to bring you down. Not on purpose, but because of human nature. And if they do not use their own advice why would it be good enough for you. SEEK OUT THE SMART AND THE WEALTHY. Wealthy not just in the bank, but at home, in spirit, and in the body. There are too many divorced, lonely, spiritually void rich people. It’s okay to find out how they got rich, just don’t take their family or spiritual advice.

  REMIND US (PARENTS AND TEACHERS) WHAT WE’RE THERE FOR. We are here to teach you to think for yourself. To answer your questions in such a way that you understand.

ALWAYS LOOK UP. If you’re looking down all you will see is the pitfalls and never the opportunity.

 BE A BROWN NOSER. Compliment sincerely and honestly and it will be taken as a compliment.

DON’T EMBARRASS SOMEONE ON PURPOSE. It only makes a potential enemy and shows how ignorant you are.

 DO NOT GET EMBARRASSED >> IT PROVES THEIR IGNORANCE. If you are on the receiving end you will see how it feels, but do not show it. Then they will know how small they are.

 IGNORANCE IS LACK OF KNOWLEDGE. STUPID IS KNOWING AND STILL DOING IT WRONG. Need I say anymore? Don’t be stupid.

  GOAL AS FAR AS YOU CAN SEE ... THEN YOU WILL SEE FURTHER. This is part of having an endpoint. You have to able to stand back and say “now what do I want” or you will burn out. If you’ve reaped the rewards and are still doing the same thing what’s the point?

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT >>BE YOUR VISION. In your mind, you must walk, talk, and act like the person you want to be. A millionaire prince(ss) or a bum? Although you may be wearing hand me downs and non-labeled clothes, no one will know but you. Feel good. Walk the walk and talk the talk they say. But you cannot BS your way through, educate yourself. The internet is a powerful tool, use it.

IF YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT... READ, ASK QUESTIONS, TAKE NOTES, AND PRACTICE.

FIND A COACH OR MENTOR. Don’t try to re-invent the wheel. Someone has done it already. Model them and if possible, ask if they will mentor you, then do it better. I hope it is me.

REALITY CHECK >> REMAIN PERSONABLE. SCHOOL IS YOUR FIRST CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE. Remember where you came from and who you are. When there are bumps in the road of life these are the people who are going to pick you back up.

NEVER PUT ANYONE DOWN. The world has a funny way of correcting things.

 NEVER JUDGE. You don’t know what’s going on in that person’s life. The more you judge others the more you are judged.

  FAIL FORWARD >> TAKE CLASSES ABOVE YOU. “A” STUDENTS BECOME TEACHERS; “C” STUDENTS BECOME MILLIONAIRES. You will never know how much you do not know.

TAKE CLASSES ABOVE YOUR NATURAL ABILITY. SEE above, in case you didn’t get it.

CHALLENGE YOURSELF. That way you are living up to your expectations and no one else’s. You are in control of you.

IF IT’S NOT HARD IT’S NOT WORTH IT. (THIS APPLIES TO EVERYTHING) Think about it. If you want to live a 1% life you have to make the sacrifices.

BE FILLED WITH THE SPIRIT EARLY >> KNOW AND PRAY THE PRAYER OF JABEZ. There is such a great lesson there. Without your faith and belief, you have no hope. And that is just sad.

PRIORITIZE GOD, FAMILY, and BUSINESS IN THAT ORDER. This is how you achieve a balanced, fulfilled life. Follow this very simple advice and know you are right.

LEAD, FOLLOW OR GET OUT OF THE WAY. How could I say it any better? There is value in being the second-best. Every good leader has a team. If you are not a leader, it’s the next best place to be. Don’t hold up the progress of the team. If you can’t be on that “train” right now get out of the way. Cheer them onward and upward.

LEARN TEAMWORK. See above and understand where you fit into the works. Understand cooperation, accountability, support, communication, and credibility. If you are following the principles outlined here, you will be a very important part of a team somewhere, someday.

KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING OR YOU WILL NEVER GET THERE >> GOALS. There are countless books on the subject. Make a list of what you want and work towards it. Set time frames for accomplishing your goals too or you will never reach them.

PROJECT LOVE NOT HATE. Smile at everyone in a polite way. Don’t look like someone peed in your cereal. Be kind, courteous and considerate. You may save a life or at least make their day better.

DO RIGHT.

DO WHAT’S RIGHT. This isn’t always easy or popular but over a lifetime it will be the foundation of your credibility.

DO YOUR BEST. If you are not, then you are cheating everyone, especially yourself.

KEEP YOUR PROMISES. If you promise it, you must comply. But remember not to over-promise. PROMISE is a big word; don’t make a promise you cannot keep.

TREAT OTHERS LIKE YOU WANT TO BE TREATED. One of the ten commandments.

 “THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PLAYER AND A CHAMPION ... A CHAMPION PLAYS THROUGH THE PAIN.” Jim Carmichael. You know I live this. I finish the job no matter what. Remember the explosion I took on a Saturday and finished teaching a class on Monday morning?

PEOPLE LIKE PEOPLE LIKE THEMSELVES. This goes for your circle of friends to taking a job out of town. It is also part of learning the language. Even in the US, each region says the same thing a different way.

“YOU BECOME PART OF WHAT YOU ARE AROUND.” Zig Ziglar This is for the good and the bad. If you hang around a questionable crowd, then you are going to be questioned too. You become the average of the five people you are around the most.

THE PROBLEM WITH MOST PEOPLE IS THAT THEY ONLY DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO. They are a slave to a check or some other limitation. Set your own standard.

STAY PURE ... NO ONE WILL HAVE ANYTHING ON YOU. You are the only one who can put skeletons in your closet. If you never put them there, no one can drag them out. If you don’t lie, this will not be an issue. Should something happen along the way unintentionally, own your shit.

ONCE YOU ARE IN THE PARTY/ COOL CROWD, IT’S HARD TO GET OUT. Having friends is great. But it is better to be an individual who stands for something. The “cool” people just grow up hanging out in bars and complaining about how bad the world is

 EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT DEPENDING ON YOUR PERSPECTIVE. Try to see all sides of a situation before you pass judgment or act.

THE SECRET TO LIFE IS ... YOUR EXISTENCE IN THE WORLD IS EXACTLY HOW YOU PERCEIVE IT TO BE.

 “WHATEVER THE MIND CAN CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE, IT CAN ACHIEVE.” Napoleon Hill

 LIFE IS WHAT YOU DECIDE TO DO WITH IT.

ONLY WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL. This means don’t worry about what other people think, say or do. You can’t control them any more than you control world events.

YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOU.

 DO NOT LET ANYONE ELSE CONTROL HOW YOU FEEL.

  YOU MUST BE FOCUSED LIKE A LASER BEAM. There are so many distractions in life, but if you stay focused you will accomplish great things. Plan get aways and vacations so when you’re working you don’t feel like you want to be on vacation.

 YOU CAN NOT HAVE GOOD WITHOUT BAD. FOR ALL THE BAD THAT WILL HAPPEN, SO TOO WILL ALL THE GOOD.

 KNOW WHEN AND HOW TO APPRECIATE GOOD. GOOD IS USUALLY MORE SUBTLE THAN BAD.

 GOD IS IN CONTROL OF IT ALL. Just trust in this. HE has a plan for you. PRAY often.

TRUST GOD.

 THANK GOD. You couldn’t do it without him.

STRIVE FOR EXCELLENCE.

 NEVER BE SO ARROGANT TO BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE CONQUERED A THING. SOMEONE IS TRYING TO BEAT YOUR RECORD. This is what drives Olympic athletes and other successful people. Records are meant to be broken. If you hold the record someone is aiming at you.

  IT’S EASIER TO FALL THAN TO CLIMB. I referred to this, but simply put far too many people want to be taken care of, so they either never try or fail once and stop trying. Then they complain about it and try to bring everyone down with them.

READ SOMETHING DAILY.

 EXERCISE YOUR MIND. IT IS THE MOST POWERFUL THING IN THE UNIVERSE.

 TRY TO READ AT LEAST ONE BOOK A MONTH. ALTERNATE BETWEEN PLEASURE AND STUDY.

 TO WIN YOU MUST LOSE. You must know loss to appreciate winning.

WORK AT WHAT YOU LOVE.

 I CAN ONLY GO SO FAR WITH ONE THING, AND THEN I GET BORED AND HAVE TO MOVE ON. IT’S OKAY.  The devil is in the details and those aren’t m strong point. I can do it to get a project up and running, but then the challenge fades. I love the challenge. Some are meant to take a good thing and make it better. Others are meant to fix a thing. I am a fixer, who will you be?

KNOW YOUR ENDPOINT. Go back to goals. But also know when you start that when you reach a certain point, you are done. Time to move on. This is a professional piece of advice, but it will work in your personal life as well. Dating, for example, know the first few young suitors are just that, suitors. Do not take it too seriously.

LEAVE IT BETTER THAN YOU FOUND IT. Apply to all you do and everything you touch will be better for you having been there. Whether you borrow a tool, a car, the Earth.

TRY TO LEAVE IT SO IT CONTINUES TO BENEFIT YOU. You will have children too, leave your estate (and the planet) so that you will be proud when you’re gone.

NEVER REACT, RESPOND.  This may be the most critical three words I know. Reaction, impulse actions can lead to bad feelings, ill will and usually, you are apologizing. When you feel that urge to burst out what you want to say, take a deep breath, give it some real thought and then respond appropriately so that you can achieve the outcome you desire.

DON’T SAY IT UNLESS YOU KNOW IT TO BE TRUE. Rumors are ugly. Trying to impress someone with BS is uglier.

FIND YOUR UNDENIABLE TRUTHS. Or you could say stand for something, or you will fall for anything. Where is your line in the sand?

 YOUR CREDIBILITY IS ONE OF YOUR MOST VALUABLE ASSETS.

 DO WHAT WINNERS DO.

 BE ACCOUNTABLE.

 BE CONFIDENT. PEOPLE WON’T MESS WITH YOU IF YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY.

 BE MODEST TO A POINT. No one likes cocky conceded people. But don’t ever put yourself down. It’s one thing to be HIS humble servant, it is an entirely different thing to tell people your no good, or stupid or whatever.

LUCK= OPPORTUNITY + PREPARATION. If you have studied or researched something enough when the opportunity presents itself … poof …. LUCK

 ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN APTITUDE. Only because one can always learn a new thing. In fact, you can be the smartest person there is. But if you look at the glass half empty instead of half full, people won’t want to be around you.

STAY POSITIVE!

 IS YOUR ATTITUDE WORTH CATCHING?

 MIND YOUR SELF TALK. Be positive with yourself, the world is tough enough.

 ONCE YOU HAVE LEARNED TO LOVE, YOU WILL HAVE LEARNED TO LIVE.

 THE MORE YOU GIVE, THE MORE YOU GET.

 TAKE CARE OF YOUR PHYSICAL SELF.

 DON’T PROFESS TO BE ANYTHING UNLESS YOU PRACTICE IT.

FAILURE IS AN EVENT, NOT A PERSON. Don’t ever let anyone call you a failure. If they do see next page (item)

 “THE NUMBER OF TIMES YOU SUCCEED IS IN DIRECT PROPORTION TO THE NUMBER TIMES YOU FAIL, AND TRY AGAIN.” Tom Hopkins

DR. SEUS IS A GENIUS.

 PRAYER IS POWERFUL

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING IS NOT GOOD.

 IF YOU DON’T ASK, THE ANSWER IS NO

 BE 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU

 NEVER LIE

 DO WHAT YOU LOVE.

IF IT DOESN’T COME NATURALLY, LEARN TO BE EMPATHETIC. It will help you see the world from another perspective.

OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS DON’T MATTER, SO DON’T GIVE A FUCK. Whether you are getting compliments or criticism don’t take wither one to serious. You worry about you and answer to you.

NO ONE CARES. Therefore, the previous statement is ok. People’s memories are short. Today you’re a hero, tomorrow you’re a heel and vice versa.

DON’T GET IN A RELATIONSHIP UNTIL YOU’RE COMFORTABLE BEING ALONE. Don’t invite people to your shit show. Go figure out who you are and what you want to do and take care of yourself before you involve another person in your life, especially a kid.

USE YOUR 20’S TO EXPLORE. Travel, try new things, try different jobs, intern for free if you have to get where you want to go. Besides committing a felony, there isn’t much you can screw up in your 20’s that you can’t fix in your 30’s.

NO ONE HAS IT ALL FIGURED OUT. Life is fluid and changes constantly, be flexible. There is no rigid standard.

BUYING A HOUSE IS THE WORST “INVESTMENT” YOU WILL EVER MAKE. Make sure you buy right. I have written other articles on that and will always help.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GETTING RICH QUICK. Easy come, easy go is a real thing. Even if you win the lottery if you are not wise with your money it will be gone as fast as you got it.

To be continued …..