Note to Self - Living with Compassion

My inside journey was on its way in 2018. I was coming to an understanding that I had been very critical of myself throughout my life. I knew I was driven like a crazy man and the purpose behind my energy was giving my kids a leg up. I found no reason to question myself in my 20s.. But in my 30s things started becoming very unclear. I like to say - "I found myself living in a John Hughes movie" I was raised in the 80s, nutty times!

In my 20s I thought I needed to be right about everything to be respected by my peers. In my early 30s, I realized I didn't know anything really and started looking for answers. Naturally, I was drawn to follow the rule of wisdom.. find mentors, and start asking questions.

By my early 40s, I was skilled in receiving feedback and started down the road of teaching and healing with words. I was able to find time and compassion for so many people and teams throughout my career. However, I felt I was not receiving the same support in my life. I searched through all my circles for support - family, friends, bosses, teams, clients to no avail. So the process started again, I went on the hunt for answers.

I knew new information was only going to be found in a different process - see my last article Secret I learned to make decisions.

Sure enough, I was given a path of reading books and journaling as a new outlet for my research. I committed to listening to audiobooks on human nature.

It has been documented if you spend 10K hours practicing something you will become an expert. I figured I could allocate 1000 hours a year to reading books not blogs and 600 of those would be at the gym instead of watching tv or listening to music. I find this a great escape and love maximizing time and fitness so a perfect life hack for me. Well, let's just say I've been practicing this for 5 years now.

What I found was mind-blowing for me! I had been compassionate with everyone else in life but not me. I was still driving myself like I was 22 years old opening my first business "Eldogs Sandwichshop" in LV. I had been diagnosed as extremely co-dependent. Look it up.. may surprise you to find out how a person is able to perform with high tolerance to stress and anxiety and leave no outlet. It could be a person close to you..

"We" won't tell you because our whole nature is to suppress and take on the stress of others. Once we feel everyone is going in the right direction we get to relax a little, however, the process starts all over again because literally, everything is always changing. Such a vicious circle, and now I can see the damage it was causing my body.

Today I leave you with the Obvious from this article - You need to take care of "You" first!

The lesson I learned: stop giving my energy to people all day trying to fix them. Be the best energy I can personally be, shine bright and let others find their best selves through observation. Be immediately available to help those who ask but know it's not my place to fix them. Honor free will and be a guild but don't instruct. This is a work in progress for me, internal learning comes from self-reflection and the ability to ask myself very hard questions about "me" and who I am.

I have found daily practices to help keep me in balance. I am going to start sharing some of these strategies in my new article series "Notes to Self". These are the actual learning experiences that I was posting and journaling about to share at a later time. Reflection link below ?? March '19

Friedrich Nietzsche - You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame. How could you rise anew if you have not first become ashes?

You must be willing to look at your problems, your fears, your darkness; to rise above them and become stronger. If you just keep staring at problems and keep feeling bad, you will reach nowhere. This is one of the greatest Friedrich Nietzsche quotes as it shows us that problems are not inherently bad, it is your attitude that makes them bad.

Pardon my writing style friends, I enjoy sharing my experiences in hopes this may help someone having a hard time finding their peace in the journey.

DeanO Fisher - [email protected]