Note to self and anyone reading (No. 1)

How can things feel so stable and yet so fragile? Everything feels like it’s hanging by a feeble thread, a thread so thin, that can be ripped apart by a single hastily thought reminder, a reminder of how unknown, uncertain the outcomes of now’s inputs are, how the entire future is being kept away and hidden while simultaneously being almost by your side, whispering in your ear, that your time is up. Future is fickle, misleading, it transforms, shapeshifts, and deceives, becomes ‘now’ sooner than you expect and throws ‘now’ into the past before even giving you a chance to capture it. I’m not noticing how my days are going by. Everything moves in an elapse filming style. Months change like days and days feel like little hours in hindsight. I’m experiencing my biggest fear, I guess; not experiencing. Is everyone else like this? Am I just nagging like a surrendered soldier, hiding in his trench, too afraid to step out into the battlefield? Am I too blinded and shocked by the lights that I never dare to open my eyes again? I guess at the end of the day, if your path, your journey isn’t filled with downs it will never witness an up, maybe if it isn’t hard, it’s not worthwhile and if it hasn’t been worthwhile in the first place, why the heck would you do it at all?

P.S. Photo Date: February 9, 2022