A NOTE TO MY FATHER

(who left for heavenly adobe on 6th May 2021)

I had a different bonding with you dad. Initial struggle, disconnect, connect and then an ever strong emotional bonding, we always stayed together. Being the eldest son of the family, I have been part of many struggles in the family and I had always tried being the best in handling such situations. It was only to make you proud.

You retired as Director, Lok Sabha, and you have been one of the finest script writers in India and wrote many government social programs. 

For the past few months, you and me have been connecting by way of narrating your old scripts, poems and interesting incidents. Your memory has always been much sharper than mine. Whenever I forgot few dialogues or lines of your poem, you promptly responded by adding or correcting me. You remembered your writings that were 4 decades old.

I had started cooking again and tried making you proud of my cooking skills and would often prepare food myself and we all (my father, mother and myself) ate together at your flat. I made sure to put that extra chilli and make the veg spicy, since only that could make you satisfied. When all of us were scared of green chillies, you had adopted them for whole life. 

I was surprised to see your inclination towards playing the flute again. I got you 2 flutes and you started playing instantly. Though your breathe didn’t support much, since your lungs were not supporting, you made sure to impress me. Indeed, I was very impressed. 

Your last few months have been very tough. Your lungs were operating on 35-40% capacity, and Corona made it worse. It was now a race to hospitals in Delhi to find a bed with ICU facility and ventilator. You were not conscious so would not know, but a lot of people kept trying to get ICU bed with ventilator, but in vain. The ads in newspaper and social media by political parties were only propaganda to project their image. Reality was completely different.

Then the news of me becoming Covid positive make things worse. You were very worried and scared. Your last audio message to me on getting well soon showed your fear, concern and faith in my will-power. But then you became silent after that. Perhaps that was your last message to anyone. You never spoke again.

The hopes were dying and we all were becoming extremely restless. On one side we were unable to see you in pain, and on the other side, we were also hoping for some miracle.

Last day, 6th May 2021 - I knew you were waiting for me before you could depart. The nursing staff, who were attending you, had given-up hope and had told everyone that you might be hearing, but you needed a lot of willpower to respond. Oxygen and nerves were not helping either. But, I was sure. Once I reach you and when I will call you, you will certainly respond. And it happened.

I called you - “Papa I Have Come. Can you hear me..” When everyone thought otherwise, you moved your pupils and responded. I again called you - “Papa can you hear me... “. You again raised your eyebrows. 

You have been my hero. I learnt from you to not to surrender under any circumstances. I learnt hard work from you. I learnt to be a fighter from you. I can assure you that my this spirit will never die. I will make sure to pass these learnings to my children. You always said - “Never break the last string in relations. But also, never look back when you leave...” 

You will always live with us as ever before. 

I love you so much..... ????

Om Shanti..... Om Jamuna (Yamuna) Maa Namah...