A Note on Kindness

There was a lot for us to process within the last week of current events. One of the most notable was the tragic Oceangate submarine expedition that resulted in the deaths of five people. The media predictably went wild. I especially took notice of the discourse on Twitter. While it's obvious that Twitter can be a "sewer" and that its users and trends are not always representative of the real-life general public (which can be a strong illusion), it was still interesting to get a feel for what people were saying. To put it simply, I was appalled.

There were countless jokes about the submarine. There were people mocking the passengers onboard and posting about how the "rich people" had it coming, rather than acknowledging the sadness of the lives lost. This is not to say that the expedition was a smart move or one that didn't have very understandable risks going in, but I was still ashamed.

But this is the culture we've created. Everything is about memes and "dunking" on other people online. We care about all of the wrong things, such as the support of toxic misogynist Andrew Tate and cage matches between crazed billionaires, Musk and Zuckerberg. We want to prove ourselves right above all else and capture attention at all costs. Whatever happened to our righteousness?

It is time to usher in a new era of kindness and morality.

Professor of Marketing at NYU and bestselling author, Scott Galloway, said it best when asked about his biggest regret on the Diary of a CEO podcast. Galloway shared, "I wish I had been kinder from an earlier age. I think it's good for the world. It makes me feel more masculine. It makes me feel more successful to be kind. I wish I'd come to that realization sooner...I wish I was more ready, more confident to articulate the kind thoughts I had about others."

I tremendously respect this answer and, selfishly, don't want that to be my regret when I'm older.

My senior year superlative award in high school was "Most Considerate." I wore that title as a badge of honor and, at the risk of sounding like I'm reliving my high school days, still do today. I'd be lying if I said my fondest memories were from this time of my life. But getting this award just felt like the ultimate validation at the time.

I have no idea how I actually was voted for that award, and I didn't even know it existed prior to a few months before I received it. I naturally worked really hard at this throughout the years to be the type of person that might be worthy of that sort of recognition. That made it feel even better.

Perhaps it came from a specific parenting style, a defense mechanism as a scrawny freshman, a natural desire to be liked, or a combination of all. But regardless of its origination, I have become a strong believer in the power of kindness. Of course I'm far from perfect or an angel, but I try to represent the change I want to see.

Some say that it doesn't pay off to be this way. They don't draw a distinct enough line between being a pleaser or pushover and someone who is compassionate, empathetic, and respectful. They see the world as a zero-sum game, where there are winners and losers and it's survival of the fittest.

The misconception here especially comes into play for men. It's almost as if we find it emasculating to tell another person that we enjoyed their company, appreciated their opinion, or liked the way they did something. Our egos have to be so big that we can't let a moment go by where someone feels like they're on more of a high than us.

And let's consider how we think about kindness in the business world. We can preach all we want about corporate culture and values, but the truth is that many of the celebrities and "leaders" we idolize are notorious assholes. We let them get away with it because it's fun, entertaining, and a way to mask their poor attitude as workaholism. Yet these "killers" leave a path of destruction in their wake that isolates them from the people who would've otherwise loved them the most. That isn't being a visionary, that's just foolish.

In a recent Northwestern University Commencement Address, Illinois Governor JB Pritzker remarked, "The kindest person in the room is often the smartest." Let's shift the larger narrative in this direction on our own. We can't wait for the government to regulate these social media algorithms, ones that fuel and capitalize on hate, to do it for us.

Kindness is the ultimate sign that we are in touch with our emotions enough to be able to think about others. And we should never let an opportunity to be kind go to waste. Our civic society is at stake.