A Note to A Friend: Joy in the Present

Dear Dan,

How you define each moment is a matter of choice. I like the eventual landing place of the old man with the son and the horse in the Buddhist parable: that he is in passive observation of each event; a fine boy, a new horse, a broken leg, exclusion from the army draft as a result. With each circumstance, he chooses neutrality, but could just as easily choose to celebrate or be disappointed. Here’s why I think that’s important:

We do not have to do anything grandiose to experience joy or fulfillment. In fact, it is largely the obsession with big, impactful, ego-driven accomplishments that creates a feeling of insufficiency after each artificial high.?And the lack of inspiration, as you put it, is really just a willing exclusion of the things of value that are right here and right now.

What would you rather they say about you in the end? “He was a man tormented by his own lack of accomplishment, so obsessed with a legacy that he forgot the one in front of him?”

Or

“I never met anyone more committed, more present to small things that mattered. As a father he was 100% available, as a husband endlessly compassionate, as a friend dedicated and interested. He derived passion from the little things. His work was just an extension of that quality.”

People, resources and opportunities gravitate towards the man that can see value in all experiences; they recognize that their benefit will not be squandered by second-guessing, comparison and criticism.?

We do ourselves a disservice pining for something better while we trivialize what we have now. The lesson in committing to the now is that we are better able to recognize opportunity when it comes, better able to provide service, and more deserving of the joy it offers.

We create space for inspiration and opportunity when we are present to the good in each moment, and we shut the door to them when we lament.

Love and regards - Jay