A Note to Dads...

This weekend we celebrate Father’s Day. My wife and I were in Scotland a few weeks ago and I was surprised to see Father’s Day cards in several of the stores, so apparently it’s celebrated in other parts of the world as well. According to history.com , the nation’s first Father’s Day was celebrated on June 19, 1910, in the state of Washington. However, it was not until 1972 that the day honoring fathers became a nationwide holiday in the United States.

I think we’d all agree fathers play a pretty important role in our lives. As I’ve visited with many people over the years (especially men), I haven’t met many who would say they had great fathers. That’s sad and unfortunate. I think one of the main problems in the United States is we don’t have the number of fathers we need to produce healthy families and children. Too many men have abdicated their responsibilities to either their wives or they’ve just “checked out.”

On the other hand, I know some great fathers and they’ve impacted my life immensely. As with all perspectives, what you’re reading is my perspective. I consider myself to be a “reasonable authority” on what a great dad looks like because I have one. He was and is a blessing from God. Much of who I am today is because of his impact on my life. I also consider myself an authority because I had two grandfathers who did not “finish well.” In stark contrast to my father, they exhibited lifestyle traits I did not want in my own life. One ruined his life with alcohol and significantly contributed to why I never drank (I decided that as a 12-year old). The other grandfather, although on fire for Jesus in his early days, seemed to walk away from God in later life. What’s really crazy is my two grandmothers were amazing women. The last reason I consider myself a reasonable authority on what a great father looks like is I’ve spent most of my life studying and teaching the Bible. Considering God created fatherhood, and is the Ultimate Father, we probably should at least check out what He has to say about fathers. He has a lot to say.

So, I put some thoughts together to share my perspectives on what makes a great dad. These are reflected in the list you'll find below.

1.?????Great Fathers know right from wrong. I’ll have to admit when I turn on the news and see kids burning down buildings and choosing horrible lifestyles that are only going to end in disaster for themselves and our society, I often think to myself, “where are their fathers?” Fathers must know right from wrong before they can teach truth to their children.

2.?????Great Fathers love their wives. Although great fathers love their children, the greatest gift a father can give their children is a strong marriage. Marriage is hard and takes work on the part of both husband and wife, but it’s worth the effort and will have long-term impacts. My observation is great marriages tend to produce children who have great marriages.

3.?????Great Fathers are selfless. To be brutally honest, the natural bent of most men is we’re selfish. I can be horribly selfish! We do what we want to do when we want to do it. Through humility, great fathers choose to put the needs of their wives and children before their own.

Fathers need to stand up for what's RIGHT when what their children are doing is WRONG, especially when it comes to moral issues.        

4.?????Great Fathers know when to talk and when to listen. There’s great value in listening; however, great fathers also know when to tell their children what they're doing is right and when it’s wrong. Men in the United States have been beat up pretty badly over the past 30 years. Fathers need to stand up for what's RIGHT when what their children are doing is WRONG, especially when it comes to moral issues. It might not be the best part of being Dad, but it’s crucial and our society depends on it.

5.?????Great Fathers have a strong work ethic. This is so important! Part of life is just working hard, setting goals and working toward those goals. Our children can’t be disciplined and expect to work hard if we’re not willing to do that as fathers. Ideally, fathers should teach children that work can be fun and enjoyable. As an engineer and business owner, I love to work and the opportunity it provides me to impact people’s lives. I think my kids have seen that.

6.?????Lastly, Great Fathers are role models. We all know it’s easier to copy something than make it up from scratch. A lot of men I’ve met over the years struggle with how to be a great father because they didn’t have one. Because I’ve spent all of my life in church, my advice to any young man who wants to be a good father is start attending a church where the Bible is taught and be around men who are “doing life together.” Most men in church, including me, will tell you want NOT to do. Learn from our mistakes, so you can make your own.

In wrapping things up, here’s the message to dads – we need you! No one else can be father to your children. It’s our job to be fathers to the children God gave us. If you had a great dad, build on what he did. If your dad was a disappointment, don’t be like him. Build the foundation you want for you and your family. My guess is your wife will be more than happy to help you. Finally, it’s never too late to change and start being a great dad. If you need to, ask forgiveness for mistakes of the past. Be the dad you wanted your dad to be. Happy Father’s Day!