The Nose-Bleed Section

Lessons from History That Highlight the Importance of Women's Rights Today

On Sunday, 14 July 1974, Ted Bundy, serial killer and law student, abducted, raped and murdered two young women, Janice Ann Ott (23) and Denise Marie Naslund (19) at Lake Sammamish Park. He lured them in with a story about needing help to unload a sailboat at his parents’ house, claiming that he’d injured his arm. At first, I couldn’t understand why these women would go and help some stranger, I thought, why in the world would you go and help some guy you don’t even know, especially one that’s asking to help lift a heavy sailboat. I mean, why not just get another bloke to help, why not just say no?

Over the weekend, I re-watched Trish Wood's documentary "Falling for a Killer", a film that focused on Elizabeth Kendall, Bundy's girlfriend, and her daughter, Molly, who lived with Bundy during his murder spree. The film also included interviews with Bundy's surviving victims, as well as female lawyers, female university professors, female police officers (which were few and far between in the early 70s). It delved into the societal climate of the time, emphasizing the Women's Liberation movement and the increasing rights, opportunities and freedoms for women, alongside the explosion of male serial killers in the 70s and 80s.

It was this film (thank you Trish Wood) that got me thinking about a lot of things involving violence towards women, and then my mind went to the insidious subject of men identifying as women, which we all know is physically and biologically impossible, and demanding access to women’s private spaces and sports, and insisting we acknowledge them as women.

I was quite happy, well, not entirely happy, but I was okay to sit on the sidelines and kick back and say nothing, believing the ridiculousness of it all would eventually disappear. But the ridiculousness kept going. So, after watching Wood’s documentary, and the many revelations that dropped into my heart, I decided to remove myself from the sidelines and jump into the nosebleed section. I mean, seriously, where have I been and why has it taken so long?

Now, going back to Lake Sammamish Park in 1974, where Bundy pretended to have hurt his arm, claiming he couldn't unload the sailboat all by himself, and convinced these beautiful, unsuspecting women, Ott and Naslund, who were taken separately, within 5 hours apart, by using his persuasive charm and manipulative tactics, to walk away from their friends and safety of the crowd and climb into his VW Bug parked in a busy car park - minus the sailboat. It is needless to say, that he cleverly preyed upon their kindness and trusting nature, using it to his advantage.

Moments before the first abduction, Bundy had tried to lure another woman named Janice Graham away from the park and into his car. Believing the boat was in the car park, she went with him but quickly changed her mind (and saved her own life) when she didn’t see the boat.

Graham obviously twigged, and Bundy obviously pivoted and said the boat was at his parent’s house which was “just up the hill”. But she didn’t buy it, refusing to go with him, deciding to go back. Bundy then said, “That’s OK”, admitting that he should have been more forthright about where the boat was.

The truth is, Bundy didn’t own a boat, and he wasn't injured either. Bundy knew that one of our vulnerabilities was to be nurturing, helpful and caring, stumbling around with bandages wrapped on his arm, hobbling around on crutches, because he knew damn well that women (especially in that time) would feel obliged to help him.

In the documentary, Py Bateman, a former student at the University of Washington, discussed her involvement in the anti-rape movement on campus during the time Bundy was murdering women. She recounts being asked to teach women self-defence, and as result, Bateman began teaching karate classes. Her main goal was to challenge societal message that instilled fear in women and taught them not to fight back. “Women were afraid to defend themselves because they’d grown up learning, that when you try and defend yourself, you’ll end up getting killed. So, there was a big incentive not to fight back and that your fate lay only in submitting.”

The camera then shifts to a group of convicted rapists gathered in a prison, discussing their views on what ‘women should do’ when they’re being raped. One of them asserts that women should just simply, “submit, submit, submit until it hurts, because it’ll hurt a lot less in the long run.” They then dismiss the idea of self-defence, claiming that “It’ll just get her killed, that’s what it would get her”. One man then pipes up, adding his two cents worth, bragging and beating his chest, declaring to the world, that the woman that he was with, well, she fought back and now she’s dead.

The men's rage in this documentary towards women who stand up for themselves was palpable. They were infuriated by the idea of women demanding independence and freedom and safety, without fear of being assaulted.

“Telling women not to fight back,” Bateman stated, “because they’ll be killed is not just saying that women are weak, it is an emotional threat thrown over to the entire universe of women, forcing us to submit or we’re going to kill you,”

An off-duty DEA agent, Kelly Snyder, was at Lake Sammamish the day Ott and Naslund went missing. He said he witnessed Bundy approaching women and getting turned down. He then watched Bundy approach Ott and overheard him ask for help, to which Ott responded that she’d just arrived and wanted to relax. From Ott's expression, it was clear to Snyder that she wasn’t interested in helping Bundy. However, Bundy persisted until Ott gave in. Snyder then noticed Ott reluctantly standing up with a frown on her face as if to say, "I’m helping this guy instead of enjoying my day at the beach." He then went on to say that t Ott is “no longer with us because she was a kind person”.

I can only imagine, the thoughts going through her mind; ‘Bloody hell, I just got here, I don’t want to do this, why do I have to do this, go and ask someone else; well, I suppose I better help him, stop being such a selfish bitch, stop being mean, he needs help, I know I should help.’

I have to constantly rein in my willingness to help all the time or else I’d continue being a doormat. Helping and nurturing truly is etched into our hearts, and when we learn to lay down a few boundaries and protect ourselves, it really does feel unnatural, weird and wrong.

Bundy targeted these young women because he knew what the societal expectations upon women were, and still are; to always be helpful, pleasing, to not offend, to not disagree, and be obedient to men. Yes, I know not all men are like this, of course I know not all men are like this, thank God. I wouldn’t have married the man I’m with now if he was a misogynistic dooshbag. I understand and experience the good deeds of men (my son being one of them) on a daily basis, but when it goes wrong, as if often does, it goes horribly wrong, and the consequence can be catastrophic for women, just like how it was for Ott and Naslund.

I mean, that’s it, when you’re dead, you’re gone - and so is your purpose and dreams of attending university, getting married, staying single, going swimming, dancing, having kids, having fun, making mistakes, being a grandma, or godmother, or aunty or best-friend.

This is why I’m now totally okay with offending those men, who demand I recognize them as women, and demand to be in our spaces and in our sports and insist that I acknowledge their “womanhood” and in spite of hurting someone’s feelings and not feeling good or kind or nice when I say NO, I’m okay to offend. I can live with offending someone; being offended won’t kill you. It won’t kill me either, I can life with offence, but what I can’t live with is being raped or being dead.

I was raised in a home with rapists and generational pedophiles lurking about the place, sneaky thieves, alcoholic abusers, misogynism, men moochers, and a shit load of coercive control, which totally destroyed my mother, my aunty and my grandmother, and others whom I loved. I will not be adhering to the nonsensical, misogynistic, fictitious, soul destroying, mob-pleasing, unscientific, unsafe, aggressive and violent notion that “men can become women” and how women should just deal with it and tough titties if you feel unsafe and unprotected.

No more.

I’ve signed petitions, I’ve begun donating to Women’s Sex-Based Rights orgs, Sall Grover to name a few, and to whoever else would like to stand in that space, I am happy to learn, and I’m happy to support your cause. Reinstate Women’s Sex-Based Rights. It is the decent and moral thing to do.

#wedonotconsent #deemingvpesutto #womensrights #womensforumaustralia