Normalizing Normal: The Truth Behind the Highlight Reel

Social media often shows us a polished version of life, but what happens when we share the truth behind the highlight reel?

A friend’s post popped up on my feed the other day – someone I don’t see often, never talk to on the phone, but who will always hold a special place in my heart. She’s a face from my youth, one I keep up with on social media.

She shared a recap of 2024, including not only the challenges she’d faced but the outcomes along the way. She opened up about a miscarriage, struggles with an ex, the trials of single parenthood and the tough recoveries that came with it. In a space so often filled with the filtered perfection of others’ lives, she chose to show the real, messy, gritty side that we all face.

It’s not easy to share our hardest moments. I know this personally – I wrote a whole book about some of my darkest times. And it’s easy to talk about vulnerability … until it’s time to hit “publish.” When it becomes real, when it’s out there for the world to see, that’s when the nerves kick in. That’s when being vulnerable truly tests you.

But what my friend did, and what I was striving to do myself, is take a step toward normalizing normal. To show that suffering is a universal experience. We all go through difficult things, but we don’t talk about them nearly enough.

I learned this the hard way during a three-year fertility journey that left me feeling completely alone. My early miscarriage was devastating, but I didn’t know how to talk about it – or even if I should. It felt taboo, like a secret I had to carry by myself. Each setback along the way only deepened that isolation, until I finally turned to IVF. It was a grueling process, but it brought me my second (and last) child.

Looking back, what hurt the most wasn’t just the struggle – it was the silence. I didn’t have anyone who openly shared stories like mine, anyone who made me feel like what I was going through was normal.

That’s why now, when I hear of someone navigating their own fertility journey, I always offer to share my story. Because it matters. Sharing our stories reminds others that they’re not alone. It breaks down the shame and isolation that so often surround our challenging times.

But fertility isn’t the only silence I’ve kept. When I was in an emotionally abusive marriage, I kept up appearances for years. I shared photos of family vacations, smiling children and picture-perfect moments on social media – all while hiding the truth behind closed doors. I contributed to that public-facing culture of perfection, where we filter out the hard parts and only share what looks good on the surface.

And that’s exactly why vulnerability is so powerful. It gives us the courage to embrace life as it really is – the messy, imperfect, beautiful whole of it. It reminds us that we’re not alone in our struggles, and it creates space for deeper connection and understanding.

So, let’s change the narrative. Let’s share the messy moments, not just the polished ones. Let’s be vulnerable. Let’s be authentic. Let’s normalize normal. Because when we do, we give others permission to do the same – and that’s how we start to build a world where the hard parts of life don’t feel so lonely anymore.