Normalizing Nerves

I love it when actual research backs up my lived experience.

Let me explain.

I used to be terrified to give presentations. I thought I spoke too casually for a professional setting, I know I speak quickly when I’m nervous, and I was always nervous! After one such presentation many, many (like more than 20!) years ago, I got great feedback from someone in the audience that changed how I felt. In an instance where I felt like I spoke too casually, he complemented me and said that I made the technology I was explaining more relatable.

That helped with the “speaking too casually” fear, but what about the rest?

Fast forward to the last decade+ when I’ve been coaching leaders who often have the same fear before giving a presentation. When I’m on the outside looking in, what I see time after time, is that these folks are nervous because they care.

WHOA. Light bulb.

Could the same be true for me? Absolutely!

These days I typically do at least 1 presentation per month. I’ve been doing presentations, as I noted above, for more than 20 years. AND I AM STILL NERVOUS BEFORE EACH ONE! You know why? Because, like my clients who experience the same feeling, I care deeply about the work I do, and I want to do it well.

Here’s the difference between my nerves now, and the nerves of little mid-20s Lara: I’ve normalized them. I’ve recognized that feeling nervous is part of my process, and I feel that way because I care deeply and want to do great work. I no longer make myself wrong for feeling an appropriate human emotion. That’s what takes the pressure off.

Now, back to the research. I normalized my nerves several years ago, and have been helping my clients do the same. Then, thanks to the glory that is a well-curated Instagram feed, I saw the Adam Grant post above. If you’re unfamiliar with who Adam Grant is, the short answer is that he’s a psychologist & researcher (the longer answer is that he’s also a Penn Professor, Author, and a ton more labels because we’re all multi-faceted human beings!).

BOOM! Research backed up my lived experience.

So, if you, like me and so many others, feel nerves before doing something, consider normalizing it. Maybe it’s part of your process because you care deeply. Maybe you want to do a great job and you care about what you deliver. It took me repeatedly seeing these truths in my clients, to also have the light bulb about my own nerves. Allow me to be your light bulb.