Nonnegotiable Career Advice for DEI (and everyone else too)

Welcome to Simply Diversity. This bimonthly letter breaks down key diversity concepts and explains how you can apply them... simply. There are plenty of terms heard ‘round the Internet as we prioritize diversity, inclusion and belonging in everything we do. This newsletter explains what these concepts are, why they’re important, and how to practice them.?

My friend once asked, “why are you giving these people all of your brainpower?”?

At the time, I was working myself to the bone in corporate. I said, “that's how I am. If I do something, I’m going to do it well.”

Can you relate??

Break it down:?

My friend responded, “but Stacey, you don’t have to give them everything. With your work ethic and drive, even at 50% you’re still performing better than most people.”

I was taken aback, because it seemed like she was telling me to… slack off at my job??

But no, she clarified, she was telling me to protect my brain power and energy! “You don’t get paid enough to work this hard,” she said. “You’re giving them so much more than they’ve earned.”

Her advice really helped me. It made me realize I was doing more, more, and more. And that I wasn’t seeing a return on my own investment.?

Overgiving to our jobs is a challenge for many, but Black women in particular are taught we must be twice as good to combat the systemic biases stacked against us. It becomes instinctive to give, give, give, which leads to burnout and resentment.?

Because typically, the more you give to your employers, the more they want and will take.

It’s not that they’re out to get you specifically. It’s just the mindset of many leaders and managers. They’re like a kid in the candy store: their knee-jerk desire is for more.?

After my friend’s advice, I started putting up boundaries and letting my coworkers and managers know how to treat me and what to expect from me:

• I realized I didn’t have to answer 300 emails in a day. I could space them out and prioritize bigger projects.
• I stopped responding to my manager’s 7 AM text messages. I told him, “my day starts at 8:30 AM. I will not be responding to texts prior to that. You can send them, but I’ll respond when I start work.” Lo and behold, he stopped texting at the crack of dawn!
• I stopped over-delivering to meet another boss’s elaborate ideas. I’d say, “we only have the budget for a simple event.” Prior to that, I’d beg for free swag and perks and favors to accommodate his big ideas. Finally I realized, I didn’t have to! No one before me did it, so why had I taken it as my personal mission to keep exceeding expectations - by a lot?

Many people who are drawn to roles in diversity, equity, and inclusion try to draw blood from a stone. We’re high-achievers, passionate about our impact, and eager to see results. So we give more and do more, going above and beyond our job descriptions and compensation.

Sometimes, going above-and-beyond is strategic and effective, such as when you’re following a clear path to promotion. But a lot of the time, overgiving and avoiding boundaries is a straight shot to being taken advantage of.?

Do Something Different:

I recognize that plenty of this dynamic is systemic. And: there are things we can do to prioritize ourselves and protect our time and energy:

1. Embrace healthy self-interest. It’s not “selfish” to put yourself first. It’s okay to realize when a situation is not serving you, and that you have the right and responsibility to yourself to do something about it.?
2. Speak kindly to yourself. We talk to ourselves so awfully! Take the woman I wrote about last time who thought she “failed.” Yet she was the only employee who went to bat for that candidate – something to be proud of! You won’t always get the result you want, but if you did everything within your power to achieve it, embrace that. I tell my kids the same thing: watch how you talk to yourself. Be your biggest cheerleader and supporter.
3. Boundaries. I get it: you build the situation up in your head and you imagine multiple scenarios about how your boss will respond when you set boundaries… it’s easy to scare yourself out of action! But boundaries are often as simple as saying, “please stop doing that.” Or, “here’s how I’m going to respond to this going forward.” It helps to assume positive intent: it’s likely the other person doesn’t know how frustrating their behavior is. Once you communicate your needs, they’ll know how to treat you.

If you’re a manager or leader and reading this, I hope you take a moment to be introspective. Have you outlined clear guidelines to your team about when it’s not appropriate to text or send Slack messages? How do you encourage good boundaries??

I’m sharing these stories today because Rework Work is about to close our doors from August 22 through September 5 to provide our team with some much-deserved time off. Taking your PTO and sick leave when you need it is also critical to wellness and longevity at work. Diversity, equity and inclusion work is a long game. We need to put ourselves first, protect our energy, and show others how to treat us so we can keep showing up and making an impact for years to come.

Guess what??

My course on Diversity Recruiting is free until September 8th! A diverse workplace requires examining the recruitment process. For many talent acquisition professionals, talking about race, gender, and discrimination is outside their comfort zones.?

My course teaches you the tools to confidently approach your leadership team to ensure that diversity is kept at the forefront of recruiting. You’ll also learn how to successfully implement an inclusive recruiting process:?

It’s part of LinkedIn’s Learning Path Recruit Diverse Talent and Promote Equitable Hiring, which includes my course and many other valuable ones.?

About Stacey Gordon and Rework Work:

Stacey Gordon is Executive Advisor and Diversity Strategist of Rework Work where she and her team coach and counsel executive leaders on DEI strategies for business, while offering a no-nonsense approach to unconscious bias education for the broader employee population. Stacey’s unconscious bias course was the most popular course on LinkedIn Learning platform in 2021 and it has also been translated into multiple languages. Stacey is also the founder and host of the Rework Work Community, a free diversity, equity, and inclusion learning and practice space for professionals. You can find Stacey’s book, UNBIAS: Addressing Unconscious Bias at Work, at Amazon, Barnes & Nobles, and wherever books are sold.