None of us is alone…

It just feels that way.

A lot.

There are a multiple reasons why - I’ll share some thoughts on that - but the focus of what I want to talk about in this post is what I think is a possible solution.

Let’s start with why we feel so lonely.

In full disclosure, I don’t study loneliness for a living, have a Ph.D. in Pscyhology or any qualifications involving letters. I’m just a human pontificating on the human condition. That said, I also recognize that loneliness is a complex and multifaceted issue that can be caused by a variety of factors. In an effort to write this as an article and not a novel, I will undoubtedly immensely oversimplify this.

According to a BBC News article, changes in modern society are considered to be one of the causes of loneliness. We live in nuclear family units, often far away from our extended family and friends, and our growing reliance on social technology rather than face-to-face interaction is thought to be making us feel more isolated. A psychologist interviewed by BBC Science Focus Magazine explains that the rise of individualism and the decline of community life are also contributing factors. I’m sure that if I keep digging, the list of why and the compelling evidence in support would just keep growing. The point is, it’s not just an issue that I feel or think is happening, but one that psychologists are seeing and measuring.

Now let’s talk about solutions, both the obvious and non-obvious.

One obvious solution is to do the opposite of what is causing it. So, if the increase in technology and decrease in face-to-face meetings is causing it, then let’s do the opposite and decrease our technology use and increase face-to-face meetings. The problem with that is that it has an extremely low probability of success because it’s asking people to change their behavior. While some percentage of people may be able to do just that, the vast majority would not leaving that solution as niche - at best.

I think a better solution is to try and use technology itself to solve the problem - to turn that addictive device into a solution. I want to harness the doom-scrolling!!! It sounds a bit ridiculous, but I think there is a relatively simple solution in that direction and it involves one simple thing: sharing.

Not sharing ideas or money or resources, just our stories. We’re each doing something every day. It involves fights, more often mental, emotional or work-related - but fights nonetheless. Likewise, there are little vitories, big victories, small setbacks and outright failure. We each experience - and feel - these things on a daily basis. Yet, without someone to share these experiences and feelings with - we feel like we’re the only ones experiencing them. In short, we feel lonely.

Or maybe I’m projecting or generalizing and it’s just me? Maybe, but I don’t think it is.

And so, i’m going to try and do a better job of sharing. It is - selfishly - to help me feel a bit less lonely as I expect some people will comment when they’ve had similar experiences. But it’s also - unselfishly - because I think it will help others feel less lonely in their day.

While many things happen each day that could be written about, I think they will be a bit more valuble if you have the context of my past. Of my… story.

So I’ll start by telling my story in the next few posts.