Non-Verbal Communication

When we talk about communication skills then our mind automatically goes to

the way we speak with others (verbal skills). But that is a very small part of communication

skills and a huge part is left behind and often ignored. Thanks to different research that

proves its significance and the fact that no one can communicate properly by

ignoring non-verbal communication elements. The main research says that 93%

is non-verbal communication. Though there here are many critics to this research but all

agree that non-verbal communication plays a major role than verbal

communication. Therefore, it is crucial to learn and practice non-verbal

communication to become a better speaker, writer, and actor. Needless to say,

actors and front lead professionals pay considerable attention to the way they speak to prove their artistic skill,?

while it is non-verbal cues that are crucial for their success which are not gievn sufficient emphasis.

Now since we have understood its importance, so we will move ahead to

know how we can improve it. There are many elements of non-verbal

communication:

A: Kinesics- Gestures and Postures

B: Oculesics- Facial Expressions and Eye Contact

C: Paralanguage

D: Proxemics- Space and Distance

E: Artifactics- Dress and Accessories

F: Chronemics- Time and Its Management

G: Tactilics- The Science of Touch

???Looking carefully you will see that it contains many aspects from dressing to

distance. In communication it is far more. In communication you say more than what you communicate. Verbal communication can be inaccurate at times and hence the

other person may not trust it always but they will surely make an opinion about you

mostly subconsciously the way you maintain the distance, dress-up or focus your

gaze which all are parts of non-verbal elements. Hence, it is essential to know these elements:

Kinesics- Gestures and Postures

Gestures play a considerable role in our communication. To have a right

gesture means to show interest in the speaker while an inappropriate or loose

gesture means otherwise which discourages the speaker. While as a speaker,

the most important thing is facial expression followed by use of hands. Further,

we must always keep in mind that our gestures must match our verbal

communication. For example, while saying something which is of passion or

energy, we must use our hands in any of the various ways that show the same.This is something very dexterously used by leaders and great speakers to attract

an audience. Have you observed how different kinds of gestures you use when

you are angry, happy, sad, hurt etc while communicating?

Postures are the other part of kinesics which show the way we stand, sit and

walk specially during communication. It is important to learn what different ways

of postures mean in communication in a specific country or region, because the

same posture can mean totally opposite in two different places or cultures. For

example, in Western culture, it is essential for listeners to look in the eyes of the

speakers, the same behaviour in Japanese culture is considered offensive. Have

you observed how you stand when you listen or speak with others? These are

the parts of training about personality development.

Oculesics- Facial Expressions and Eye Contact

Facial expression means the way you use your face in different situations

during communication. It is said that our face is the index of our mind. Our face

very succinctly reveals our mood and feelings. Sometimes, it is easy to hide our

emotions from words but the same thing needs so much effort to hide from facial

expression. It is impossible to have an expressionless face. Making your facial

expression consistent with what you say as a speaker or as a listener to react

consistently with the message of the speaker is therefore crucial. Proper facial expression not only

makes the other person interested in the conversation but also encourages the

conversation which makes it more successful by strengthening the relationship or

business-meeting.

Eye-contact is another essential part of a successful non-verbal

communication. Eye-contact makes the conversation effective. Consider yourself

being in a class where you cannot make eye contact with the teacher. In this

situation you will need so much patience and effort to be mentally present. While

on the other hand, it will be comparatively easier to be mentally present where

you can make eye-contact with the speaker. It also means that you are confident

and grasp what the speaker is saying. Needless to say that, it is essential for a

speaker to do the same thing. He/she cannot ignore eye-contact with the audience in

a presentation/class. It does not mean that he has to look into the eyes of a particular

speaker, instead he has to keep shifting his gaze slowly but gradually to make the audience present and grasping what he/she is saying. In no

way eye to body contact should be made, specially with a female because that

can be considered a sexual gaze. Generally eye contact means choosing a spot

between the eyes, maintaining gentle eye contact, maintaining chunk vision, rotating gaze and paying full attention.

Paralanguage

It is the way we use our voice in communication. Make sure when you speak

your voice is loud and clear for your audience. If you are on an online medium

then your microphone should be of good quality that does not have any issue to

the listeners. Further, try to use modulation techniques in communication. This is

what orators do to keep the interest of the audience intact. Modulation means

starting the conversation with high volume and gradually lowering it towards the

end of a sentence.

It is also quite important to observe and use your tone very carefully. Very

commonly, tones are misinterpreted by listeners that we often do not realize as a speaker. The

best way is to record the voice and listen to it later to understand how your tones

sound. The next thing that is very important is the accent. It is quite often seen

that people fake their accent to be of foreign origin. Originality is attractive so

while speaking, make sure you speak in your own accent. Effort should be given

to pronounce words correctly and not to show that you are a Britisher or

American by accent. The importance of paralanguage is gradually increasing.

The level of voice shows the hierarchy of professionals in an office. The quality of

our speech plays a considerable role in our success in career, convincing and

professional life as mentioned.

Proxemics- Space and Distance

??? At times it seems that logically how can these elements be very important in an

effective communication? Take an example of proxemics ie, space and distance.

The truth is that though it is a new development in the Indian context, it is a very

?important element of communication in the West. Have you noticed the distance

that you maintain in conversation with different groups of people? Do you

maintain the same distance while communicating with your mother and a class

teacher? The answer will certainly be no, though you may have never observed it

consciously. To be short, we maintain the distance more if the relation with the

person is professional or official and lesser the closer the person is.

Artifactics- Dress and Accessories

??? Our world is filled with visual effects which are easier to notice and attract others.

People not only understand visual effects but also remember for a very long time. In such a scenario, it becomes very important to pay attention to what visual signs you carry in the form of dressing-up, hair-style, accessories and any other things used. People even make a strong judgement with the pair of shoes/sandals that you wear. We all want attention deep-down somewhere, we all want to be likeable. Many people will deny this but these are human needs, somehow we are created like this. Try to follow these points as far as possible:

??A: Wear clothes according to the occasion. You cannot wear the same clothes or accessories in marriage and your class. Try to know the differences very carefully.

??B: Whatever you wear try keeping it neat and clean and moderately fit which means it should neither be very tight nor too loose but fit somehow.

??C: Do not forget to use perfumes. Because smelling bad really gives a very negative reaction.?

??D: Do grooming delicately. If you keep your beard then keep it properly and nicely adjusted, otherwise just clean shave.

??E: Make-up is something that always attracts feminine gender and which leads many times to exaggeration. Remember that make-up done sufficiently is a source of charm and attractiveness but when exceeded, it makes others to have a negative opinion.?

??F: Always remember to wear shoes according to the occasion. Also, this is very important to keep your shoes clean and socks not stumbling. Many people do not follow this which is very unattractive.

??G: Accessories when used sufficiently make us attractive but when exceeded it again makes us alien in a group.

???Chronemics- Time and Its Management

?? Time and its management is something we all do but most of us fail. No matter how much you try but still there will be reasons and situations leading to failure to follow the schedule. This is not always that we are lazy, callous or procrastinators. Although these are also our in-built qualities, still the reason that we cannot stick to our routine is because it is highly uncertain how we will feel the next moment, what you will be doing after the current task that will also have a huge impact on what you will do the next moment. Further, time management is extrapolation which means external factors also influence it very powerfully. Under all these circumstances, sticking to our whole day routine is really tough specially for a long time and even if you do then after sometime you will feel tired, purpose-less. So what we should be doing instead is to prioritize our activities. See what are the most important tasks for the day and try completing them as early as possible effectively. Once you are able to accomplish them, now you will feel happiness, independence and your worth which will also be sources of motivation to do further. Otherwise, it is still fine to enjoy the rest of your time with your family members and friends because it will prepare you for the next day to start again.?

????Talking about time management in conversation, please remember to be punctual. Being late gives one of the worst impressions. The cost of being late is very huge. Therefore, try to be punctual. It is not easy but it is worth practising. If you live in a crowded city like Kolkata and you are afraid of not reaching on time, then please plan to reach earlier and wait outside/inside. Meanwhile, you can read something on your mobile or can write something. This will give an impression to the person that you value other's time and that you are quite reliable and trustworthy. The main loss of being late is that it gives you so much stress and also makes you uncomfortable to communicate to the person. Therefore, reaching on time becomes inevitable to have an effective communication and that is why it is an insurmountable part of non-verbal communication.

???Tactilics- The Science of Touch

???Touch also plays a considerable role in communication. In Indian context it has limitation but when it can be used and there if used delicately, it can make the communication very effective. Suppose you meet your mother after a year and then you touch her feet or handshake as a greeting. This will always be more powerful than just greeting. Similarly, when you meet your best friend after a long time and you hug him/her, this one hug will rejuvenate your relationship and you will feel that he/she has always been there with just one hug. But remember that touching is really very sensitive and even when you hug your best friend of same gender in public, people may stare at you. Now it is up to you whether you care about their staring or not. But what I am trying to implore is that touches are very sensitive in our country. So you should never go ahead to do a hand-shake to a female until she leads to it. Touches, if used according to the context, can make the communication further stronger.

????This leads to the conclusion of the topic but in the end remember that you cannot master it by just reading. Forget about mastering, even you cannot learn it properly by just reading. So you must observe how you behave while communicating as a speaker or as a listener and accordingly try to find out areas of improvement. We all surely try, but we have so many things to learn when talking about non-verbal cues. The more you learn them the better you will be as a speaker and listener and that will create a very successful impact personally in your family, professionally in your career and socially among people of different groups.

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