Non-Conventional Why I Quit Facebook Story from an Adult on the Spectrum

Back in my undergraduate days (mid-90's) at Eastern Illinois University, I joined Facebook for the first time.

Now, it turns out to be one of the biggest mistakes I made in my past.

Then, it was convenient for students who wanted to tell their classmates that the study group session was moved from the Student Union to the Library instead, or if you had questions about notes or assignments.

Point: Facebook had a purpose.

Fast forward to the new millenium, Facebook's platform changed and included everyone. It was not just open to college students anymore. Everyone from your ex-girlfriend to your former teachers to your grandmother's best friend and their brother could join.

Wow! Imagine all the fun I had reconnecting with people from my past.

Kids who moved away from elementary school, middle school, high school; current and former work colleagues from over the years; relatives; church people; people I just met; and every Tom, Dick, and Harry (with the exception of Cruise, Tracy, and Connick Jr.) who thought they knew me well enough to add me by sending a "friend request."

Heck, even a Nigerian prince friend requested me and immediately asked for me to send money afterward.

OK, this was rather a lame attempt at humor. Forgive me!

It was quite overwhelming, and aside from constant game requests to water someone's farm plants on Farmville or play other games like  Candy Crush Saga, I jumped on the Facebook bandwagon.

All of a sudden, I was a teenager back in school again.

The popularity contest was on.

Game on, Wayne.

Game on, Garth.

Let's see how many people I could add to make me feel better about myself since low self-esteem sometimes intrudes even the happiest of people at various times in their life.

It was almost as if I was reliving my past. Funny thing is, I feel I was more liked in my past then what I was portrayed as on Facebook.

Facebook charmed its way into my life...

All of a sudden, I could see my name on the Prom ballot and people were checking my name to be King. I was in, cool, and hip. Literally, the "It" guy. My self-confidence reached a new height; one founded on falsehoods.

It's funny, even people I did not talk to at all in school all of a sudden knew who I was and it was their quest to add a bunch of friends too; so welcome one, welcome all.

It was almost as embarrassing as the United States Presidential Election, but I do not care to share my thoughts on that mockery.

Then, it occurred to me. Why did Facebook have to go and use the word "friends?" These people were nothing more than mere acquaintances who knew the younger version of me and had little to no clue as to what I have been through (both the good and the bad).

I have friends. People who actually listen to me when I am upset, encourage me when I need it most, support me with decisions I make, and who advise me in helping make those decisions. People I can go and meet face-to-face, not hide behind the comfort of a computer.

For someone who does not socialize all that well, Facebook was an outlet for me to become very outgoing and gave me a platform to share my thoughts, beliefs, hopes (basically an agenda) with the very people who never even looked at me or gave me a second thought when I was in school.

I do not understand social cues. When is enough just that: enough? Who am I annoying by posting updates about what I am doing next weekend or sharing countless vacation photos? I mean other people post countless pictures of their kids and significant others. That couldn't be any more annoying, right?

Right?

Where were these so-called "friends" when I was going through some major stuff that required words of encouragement or a good, old-fashioned pep talk?

Even at a mundane high school reunion, it is a chore to talk about what you do or where you are going in life let alone feeding it to a daily newsfeed.

And what if you are an attention-seeking person who is not getting the desired results you expected from these friends on Facebook? What if these friends were not meeting the high expectations you had set for the realm of the true meaning of the word "friend," which seems to be more and more of a lost art with all these social media sites cropping up.

What's wrong? Do they not like me anymore? Should I care? Do I care? After all, I like me. Isn't that what matters most?

Life was so much simpler when Facebook was non-existent, but...

Alas, it had to happen.

I tried to use Facebook to keep in touch with people who I thought highly of in school, but suddenly realized that I didn't really know them all that well anymore. Some I never knew at all and there was probably a reason for that too.

Even ones I highly regarded in school were hesitant and non-accepting of invites. Perhaps, they didn't want to be flooded with constant updates too or they were over the popularity contest and they just wanted the minimal number of friends they do keep in touch with. Who knows?

I won't lose any sleep over it.

Does that mean I dislike them? Even the ones who I thought highly of who wouldn't accept my invite?

Absolutely not.

In fact, my childhood was a very important and happy part of my life that helped shape me to what I am today. I am grateful for having gone through it.

And what I am most grateful for is to have had such a group that was accepting of someone who had social struggles. My group really helped bring me out of my shell and I will always remember them and be thankful for that.

I struck an oil mine as far as classmates back in those days.

But life moved on once we said goodbye to our school days. For me, it was in 1994. Shhh! Don't tell anyone my age.

I have very fond memories, and no one (not even the ones who disliked me then or dislike me now or don't want to be bothered) can take those memories away from me. My school years were and always will be pristine to me.

ALWAYS!!!

Many of my classmates were influential in my life. But the cold, hard fact-of-the- matter is that a lot of time has passed since 1994. Twenty-two years to be exact.

Nobody knows the struggles or pains I have been through, nor do I know them and what they have been through either.

I was very fortunate to have had these people cross my path in this life, but seeing some of the insincerities of some people on Facebook was just a little too much.

I mean really who has 1,000 friends or "true" friends, the kind I seek in my life?

Alongside the violations of privacy and constant changes, I was growing rather tired and bored of Facebook.

So, I quit.

I removed all my photos, deleted texts, and dismantled it. And it wasn't temporary...

No, I committed all-out virtual suicide.

And two years later, I have no intent of going back. Those days are over.

Looking back, I feel like my time on Facebook was nothing more than like a free preview of a favorite pay channel.

Here's a glimpse of what I have to offer...

And now it's gone.

To be continued, but not on the Facebook platform!

And I have to admit that my overall outlook on life has improved since quitting. I feel more productive, more relaxed, and more in tune with who I am without it.

Though it may seem that way, I am NOT knocking Facebook to those who use it.

For every negative thing I listed in this piece about the site, I can think of some good things that being on Facebook is necessary to achieve.

People use it to stay in touch with lost or displaced relatives, loved ones overseas fighting for our freedoms, to connect with former friends they have not seen for years.

It's a good way to find out what's going on with a brother or sister, a cousin, aunt, uncle, grandparent, best friend, or significant other.

It connects you to causes and makes you explore exactly what makes you, you.

Anyway, this is not a self-righteous piece I am writing.

I am just saying that to someone on the Spectrum, like myself, who doesn't understand socializing that well that, perhaps, Facebook is not the proper avenue for attempting to make new friends or connect with old friends that have not been seen in years and set the expectation level as high as I did.

In essence, I am saying it was not for me and to walk away was a hard decision, but one I am proud that I made.

To each his own. Que sera, sera!

******This is an advocacy piece of a point I wish to express solely upon my own beliefs. Please feel free to contact me at [email protected] to discuss any concerns, theories, or feelings regarding the aforementioned subject. God Bless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!