Non-Confrontational Sales

Or: "We are in a conspiracy together"

I stole this headline from a wonderful little scene in the TV show "Mad Men".

You remember Mad Men: 1960s, advertising agencies, cigarettes and drinks at work...

Disclaimer: I do NOT recommend taking the video as a blueprint for business behavior! Mad Men is a cynic satire after all.

However, it's a hellova fun to watch - and does have a few aha moments about selling and human behavior:

(If it doesn’t work, search on YouTube for "Roger Sterling on the Art of Accounts", and if you’re lucky, you can enjoy a hilarious 2:30min take on sales.)

In the scene, Roger Sterling illustrates how it’s not you explaining to customers what you offer, but getting the customer to explain to you what they need. Basically have them "fill out the order form for you".

His take: don’t consider yourself opposite to your customer (or a stakeholder or potential business partner), as in "you against them", but next to them. Like you are in a conspiracy together.

Our urge to contradict

When your goal is to "push towards a deal", conversation tends to get tense and confrontational. We lose the customer's interest out of sight and see them as an opponent. And when we get pushback, we double down. This rarely works for sensitive souls (such as myself), introverts or product-lovers.

Especially for freelancers and solopreneurs, caring for the customer and their needs is a vital prerequesite to be credible, likable and trustworthy. And to sustain your personal motivation to keep doing some sales as part of your business.

But then - there's such a natural urge to contradict!

I’ve seen many junior salespersons trying to counter everything a customer said with an objection. So they hear “I don’t need this”, and reply “yes but have you seen what it does and how low the price is?”

Like any of us prefers buying something we don’t need because it’s cheap...

(This reminds me of the Woody Allen joke on how New Yorkers complain about restaurants: "The food at this place is really terrible. And such small portions!")

Those salespersons position themselves opposite the customer, trying to tell them how they are wrong.

Instead, think of it more like sitting next to your customer, being their advocate and trying to understand and help them.

So a better reply to “I don’t need this” could be “what makes you think so?” Or “what do you need?”

You are side by side, figuring this out together. Evil is out there, and you are here to help.

True story: a sales colleague of mine takes “side by side” literally: when entering a conference room, he stands by one side of the table, waits until the customer sits down on the opposite side and then, to their surprise, he walks around to sit next to them.

I on the other hand feel more comfortable with a bit of table in-between – although not quite as much as Putin in the Kremlin.

Being "not great at sales" is your advantage

Based on my own (uncommon) journey, I'm encouraging indies and freelancers to sell their wonderful and innovative products - and to find their own method of selling. Not copy someone else's. Building on your personality.

For example, if you are introverted, you probably have other strengths - expertise, listening skills and a sincere interest in the individual customer go a long way.

You can be extra credible by?not?being a salesperson. It's almost an unfair advantage. :-)

This is one of 24 free sales insights I'm sharing from my personal experience. If you liked it,?sign up to my newsletter?to get all 24 tips in one email when they are out.

All tips are taken from my book?Sales Without Shame. It's short (but funny).

And by the way, I'd love to hear from you! No strings attached. We all should meet more people, break the ice, exchange our stories. Send me a PM and let me know: what's your sales challenge?