Nobody Wants This (Except Everyone Does?-?Everyone Wants Everything)

How to do all the things you are supposed to do and still achieve what you want?most.

I recently watched Nobody Wants This on Netflix, and something about it?—?well, there’s so much to say?—?but let’s focus on one thing for this post.?

The lead, Noah, played by Adam Brody, has always known what he wants. He makes every decision around that singular goal, yet it doesn’t feel like he hoped. Even as it’s working out and coming true, something is missing…

In some ways, that’s the message of this post. We often think we need a clear, singular focus to succeed?—?that we should know exactly what we want from life, chase it down, and conquer it. But what if you don’t? What if you want more than just one thing?

Then, you will have to take a different path, which may mean embracing the journey, loving many things, accepting that there is more than one right path to take, and finding fulfillment not just from one goal but from the richness of living a full, multifaceted life. Can you do that?

“We are kept from our goal not by obstacles but by a clear path to a lesser goal.”?—?Robert?Brault

The first time I heard this quote, I didn’t get it. I mean, I think I did, but I resented the implications. Could I be the reason that I hadn’t achieved my biggest goals??

As a maximalist, a mom of three, and a multi-passionate entrepreneur, I was offended by the notion that my lack of singular focus could hold me back professionally or otherwise.

And I won’t tell you that I eventually cracked the code, discovered a big, overarching goal that defined my existence, and then the world shifted on its axis.

Some people know what they want beyond a shadow of a doubt and are willing to set everything else aside to achieve it. And more power to them?—?I’ll read their books, listen to their podcast interviews, and be inspired by them, but I don’t want to be them. As much as I love my work, it’s one of my things, not my #1 thing.

For better or worse, I’m a dabbler. The quote that genuinely speaks to me is this one from Vincent Van Gogh:

“The way to know life is to love many things.”?—?Vincent Van?Gogh

I love it all: my creative pursuits, family projects, coaching, travel, business ventures, and a thousand other passions. I love diving into different things, trying new ideas, and discovering new passions.

People like me, who love everything, don’t necessarily need more discipline or focus; we must practice acceptance.

That you can love life and excel in multiple arenas without needing to conquer the world or specialize in one thing is a tenet of my coaching practice?—?If you’ve got a lot of range, use it. But, like everyone, it’s so easy to fall into the comparison trap.

Social media, your community, and even family and friends can convince you that you’re failing if you aren’t known for one big thing.

The Danger of Lesser?Goals

You’re not failing; you’re living. But pursuing lesser goals will derail you from achieving what you want most. If you don’t know what you want?—?when you aren’t clear on your deepest desires?—?you will get caught up in chasing goals that don’t matter or default to what comes easiest. You’ll find yourself investing time, money, and energy into things that won’t fulfill you in the long run.

Lesser goals are seductive. They’re convenient, comfortable, and often validated by the world around you. But they’re also distractions.

This morning, my daughter asked what I was writing about today, and I asked her if she understood the concept of “lesser goals.” I explained it like this: If your ultimate goal is to be a homeowner, a lesser goal would be a new car. They are the things you want that get in the way of what you want most.

So what’s the solution?

Letting Your Big Goals?Lead

It all comes down to this: you need a big, bold, hairy, scary goal that pulls you forward?—?something you can’t take your eyes off, that excites you, and compels you to move past the distracting, seductive, easier, shiny things that are a little more within reach.

It requires discipline, patience, and putting on blinders so you have the willpower to say no.

A clear vision of what you want most and a deep commitment to prioritizing that over everything else are the ways to create space for your big goals, no matter how many passions or responsibilities you have.

Balancing Competing Priorities

Of course, life isn’t that simple. Most of us have competing priorities. You might be early in your career, striving to crush your professional goals and climb the corporate ladder?—?but you also want to build a family. Is pursuing love a distraction or part of your meaningful journey?

You may already have kids and want to create memories and explore the world together. Is the corporate ladder standing in your way, or is it a means to an end?

Lesser goals and competing priorities aren’t always obvious.

Your decisions are further complicated when choosing one takes another off the table. They shape your destiny. However, intentional trade-offs are a natural part of aligning your life with your values.

The Path to?Clarity

So, how do you ensure your life isn’t just a collection of lesser goals but a pursuit of what truly matters?

1. Identify Your North Star: What big goal excites and motivates you? What’s the one thing that, if you achieved it, would make other goals feel less critical? Keep your eyes on this goal?—?it’s your North Star.
2. Practice Intentional Trade-Offs: Life is made up of seasons. You can’t do everything all the time, but you can choose what’s most important in the long term and let other things go, even if it’s uncomfortable. Often, we know what we want but get caught in wanting everything at once, which can feel overwhelming and stop us from fully committing to anything.
3. Upgrade Your Identity: Recognize the distractions in your life. Whether it’s social media, busy work, or even well-meaning advice from others, regularly check in with yourself. Ask, “Is this helping me move closer to my big goal?” Or try one of my favorite questions, “If I already achieved (insert big goal here), would I still behave this way?” Usually, the answer is no. Y no longer attracts the person who has X. Once you’ve achieved your goal, the distractions no longer appeal to you.

Living Life on Your?Terms

At the end of the day, what matters most is that you are living a meaningful life driven by the big goals that inspire you.

You’re free to love your journey when you follow your North Star but throw out the status-quo blueprint. By honoring the process, the goals tend to take care of themselves. Trust that it will work out. You will find the right path organically, and the compromises you make along the way will turn out to be for the best, helping shape you into who you were always meant to become.

Looking back, you’ll see how intentionally you filled your life with what truly mattered. Maybe you didn’t get everything you ever wanted, but you gained so much more than you hoped for?—?and you didn’t have to give up everything you loved, either. The trade-offs weren’t detours; they were essential to crafting a life well-lived.