Nobody Ever Told Her It’s the Wrong Way

Editorial note: Opinions expressed here are solely those of the author

I was having a conversation with a colleague last week, a big music fan like me, and somehow we got on the topic of t-shirts. In particular, we were talking about all the teenagers who wear shirts featuring bands who, most likely, they’re not familiar with. We both recounted all the times we’d seen kids wearing t-shirts featuring The Clash, KISS and Nirvana; even relatively obscure bands like The Misfits. And I’ve noticed during recent Target runs that there’s a whole display, in the young women’s section, featuring several of these t-shirts, pre-faded, of course.

Of course, the cynical GenXer in me can’t help but look at these t-shirts and roll my eyes. I’ve been in Marketing my entire professional career so certainly get the whole retro appeal. But back in my day these t-shirts meant something. That you went to see a band or artist in your hometown. Or that you were a true fan and you wore it proud. These t-shirts sent none-too-subtle messages about the type of person you were, the values you held. And you often felt an affinity for or distance from a person based on these t-shirts. At least I did.

I must have verbalized some form of what I just wrote because yesterday our 13-year-old daughter Sasha looked at me rather sheepishly when she walked out of her bedroom wearing a Sublime t-shirt. Before I even said a word Sasha jumped right in. “I know, Dad. I feel like the biggest poser,” she said. “But I just love the logo.”

Now, I’m of course biased but the t-shirt looked adorable on Sasha. And I had to admit it was a cool logo. I started wondering why it actually really mattered whether she had any idea who Sublime was.

I thought back to all the judgments I made about people when I was Sasha’s age, and my later formative years simply based on the t-shirts they were wearing.

-The townies with their Lynyrd Skynyrd and Allman Brothers t-shirts.

-The “burnouts” who hung out in the smoking lounge, with their Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath and AC/DC t-shirts.

-The “metalheads” wore t-shirts and denim jacket patches touting Metallica, Megadeth and Judas Priest

-Of course the Deadheads.

And the thing is, there isn’t one of those aforementioned bands that I don’t enjoy to this day. But the reality is that I didn’t begin appreciating any of them until I was long out of high school and learned to stop being so goddam judgmental. And stop making these ridiculous, arbitrary categorizations.

I can’t help but juxtapose my attitudes growing up with how I view our own teenage children – Sasha and her brother Ethan, who is 16. Who know every word to “Sweet Caroline.” Who think the melody to Rod Stewart’s “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy” was created for a meme. Who, despite all that’s crappy with the world right now, are facing it with an unbelievable amount of resiliency, ignoring labels and categorizations, living how they want to live, loving who they want to love and enjoying what they want to enjoy.

To paraphrase another band whose t-shirt is likely worn by countless teenagers without a care as to its origins, “the kids are alright.”