NO

It has always been difficult for me

to say NO to you!

I was afraid of offending you, upsetting you, angering you.

I was afraid, you would reject me

if I say NO!

I thought it would be disrespectful

to your feelings, to our relationship

If I say NO!

I was burdened by your concerns, your care, your fears

I would become guilty and selfish

If I say NO!

I thought you would be devastated

You will be terribly hurt

If I say NO!

I kept massaging your ego

to keep you pleased.

Hoping, some day you would understand my feelings too.

I kept saying YES

But none of us were pleased and

your ego kept consuming me.

I broke deep inside

But could not say NO!

I kept suppressing, fuming, and rotting

SILENTLY!

NO! I just could not say NO!

I was crestfallen and anguished

I was broke and pained

But I could not say NO!

Fear kept haunting me

What if…???

If I say NO!

But deep inside I wanted to say NO!

One day…

With a calm mind

I just looked up and politely but firmly said

NO!

NO justification!

NO explanation!

Just a simple NO!

I know

it is not a NO to responsibility,

It is not a NO to hard work.

It is not a NO to new ideas!

It is not a haughty NO to shield my ego

It is not a NO to make you look smaller or to disrespect you!

It is not a NO to relationship!

But YES!

It is a NO to suppression.

It is NO to unrealistic expectations.

It is NO to peer-pressure

It is a NO to rat-race.

It is a NO to injustice

It is a NO to emotional blackmailing.

It is a NO to manipulation.

It is a NO to my fake identity.

It is NO to constant badgering of

my self-belief, my self-respect, my soul!

It is NOT a NO to you my dear

It is YES to my soul!