The No-Asshole Rule

Just watch all the politics afoot these days, and it's easy to spot.

You've worked with them and worked for them--maybe you're even a recovering asshole yourself. I think we need a new AA program. A meeting might start this way, "Hi, I'm Steve, and I've been an asshole." No doubt, you would readily nominate some people you've worked with for this new AA program. However, there's an old saying, "if you spot it [easily], you got it." Let's recognize it in others and in ourselves and deal with it.

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he No Asshole Rule (Business Plus, 2007) by Robert Sutton, Ph.D. A summary by Steve Gladis, Ph.D.

1. Overview: We’ve all experienced domineering bosses, obnoxious peers, and even direct reports whom we enjoyed far more when they were on vacation or sick leave! Bob Sutton of Stanford calls them assholes, which we can more politely refer to as “jerks,” despite acknowledging the preciseness of Bob’s description. Jerks cause lower productivity, infighting, humiliation, stonewalling, and defensiveness. They can dominate some cultures, and if you let them in your house, batten down the hatches because they bring in drama and pain. Sutton provides a self-test to assess whether or not you’re a “jerk,” which can be instructive and at the same time humbling—at least when you think about things you may have done in the past—even as a temporary jerk, let alone a certified one! This book is well worth the read if it can simply help you from hiring a single jerk or help you push one out the door.

2. Mistreatment and abuse in the workplace is commonplace and rampant. As an example of abuse, consider the following: 90% of nurses claim abuse by doctors; 27% of Michigan residents claim abuse at work, and at the Veterans Administration, 36% of employees complained of abuse by coworkers or managers. Moreover, 73% of witnesses of such bullying and mistreatment suffer stress themselves. The telltale hallmarks of teams and organizations led by jerks are fear, loathing, and retaliation. Not exactly a work setting conducive to productivity, as opposed to one that is “psychologically safe.” The total cost of increased absenteeism, lack of productivity, and employee turnover is astronomical. For example, 25% of abused or bullied employees exit companies, and 20% of witnesses of bullying leave. See p. 48-50 for the true impact of jerks in your organization.

3. Enforcing the “No Asshole Rule.” Every organization can be susceptible to jerks. Sports teams are certainly no exception. Former basketball coach Bobby Knight and football player Terrell Owens are perfect examples of what jerks in sports look like. Amazing talent that gets trumped by bad behavior. I like Google’s cardinal rule: “Don’t be evil.” Now, there are temporary as well as certified jerks. Temporary jerks recognize when they’ve done wrong, correct it, and apologize. Certified jerks either seem to revel in or are oblivious to the effect of their behaviors. Thus, the author suggests a no-jerk workplace and a no-jerk hiring policy. He uses IDEO as a model…using 360 interviews, keeping jerks off of the hiring panel, and moving jerks out of the organization ASAP.

4. Teach people how to fight: In no-jerk workplaces, companies teach their folks how to fight fairly. Called “constructive confrontation” at Intel, people are taught how to fight back rather than simply accepting abuse from loudmouth jerks. Sutton instructs that we should focus on gathering data, listening to others, and even when we disagree, committing to find agreement. Here’s some great advice from U. of Michigan professor Karl Weik: “Fight as if you’re right; listen as if you are wrong.” On the other hand, he quotes Intel’s doctrine: “The only thing worse than too much confrontation is no confrontation at all.” Destructive confrontation is emotional, personal and relationship-focused. Constructive confrontation focuses on the issue, even the argument’s logic…but never the person or her/his character. Read the Top Ten Steps for enforcing the no “jerk” rule: pp. 87-89.

5. Self Control…Taming your Inner Jerk: All of us are temporary jerks at one time or another, especially under time and task pressure. The key is to recognize it and respond to it and to realize that anger, anxiety, depression, and contempt are highly contagious in the workplace. If you view your contempt, as an example, as a contagious disease, it might help you regulate your behavior. Experiments show that people who join such toxic organizations start to act like their jerk bosses. The Arabic proverb applies: “A wise man associating with the vicious becomes an idiot.”

6. How to Avoid Jerk Poisoning: Best advice is to not join organizations or relationships with jerks in the first place. Sutton quotes Leonardo da Vinci: “It’s easier to resist in the beginning than at the end”—sound social science. In fact, when people invest a lot of time and energy, it gets harder to leave even an abusive relationship. Tough to rationalize, but true. Before taking a new job, do a job shadowing as a way to catch the culture. If you see signs of jerkdom, stay away. Avoid seeing coworkers as competitors or enemies, lest you set up a poisonous dynamic between you and them. Finally, just stay away from meeting with them, asking them questions or otherwise engaging with them. Note: See the Self-Test to see if you are a jerk on pp. 121-3…as funny as it is telling!

7. More on surviving jerks: Reframing how things appear to us changes the effect that jerks have on us. In other words, reframing reduces the negative effects of these people. More specifically, when we practice what psychologist Martin Linsky calls “learned optimism,” we’re better equipped to cope with bad things like jerks at work. According to Linsky, if we’re optimistic, we learn how to view setbacks as temporary and recovery as within our control. But pessimists see setbacks as permanent. Instead of blaming yourself, understand that it’s not your fault if someone’s a jerk. Keeping expectations of jerks low also helps you from expecting more than they can ever deliver. When you work for a jerk, limit your exposure to them, detach emotionally from them, and don’t expect to get psychic income from your interactions. Take up a great hobby or do whatever you can to avoid the jerk and the conditions s/he’s created for you.

8. Final words about jerks. First, Jerks R Us…before pointing the finger around you, point it at yourself. Where, when and how have you bullied, intimidated or otherwise been a jerk? Probably far more than you know. The author provides some documentation about this delusion. If you’re a jerk, people don’t tell you what they really think. This robs you of reality. They only bring you news you can handle. This robs you of truth. Good

p This robs you of the capacity to prosper. As your enemies grow in number, you’re robbed of your influence, no matter how smart or capable you are. If you’re a jerk, the way your story ends is ultimately one of delusion, loneliness and sadness. Not exactly the “happy ending” most of us want in life.

* Take the Certified Asshole Test:

Certified Asshole Test

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