Nine ways to be a more powerful communicator.

This article was originally published as part of the Stories from VOYAGERS series. You can read more from the series here.

by Michael Weitz with Abigail Tenembaum and David Rowan

It doesn’t take magic to learn how to project yourself more effectively when you’re giving a talk, running a meeting, or just hanging out. If you’re willing to put in the practice, you can train yourself to have far greater impact. And you can even have fun in the process. It comes down to bringing out the most engaging version of yourself. -

Charisma can be developed.

Everyone has an engaging version of themselves. This is easy when you’re having a beer with friends, but in high-stakes situations — when giving a TED talk, or speaking to your board, or pitching an idea — this place of impact and engagement is much less accessible. The good news is that you can develop this ability. All you need to do is understand the key principles, and find your way to own them.

I used to be a theatre director in New York City working on new plays. I loved looking for what makes an actor unique and spiky, so the audience will connect with them; or working with a playwright on creating a text that will have the audience glued to their chairs.

Turns out, there are three ingredients that bring out that irresistibly engaging part of each of us: connecting with your audience, connecting to your content, and connecting to your body and voice.

Being able to connect to all three may not be easy, but once you do — it often feels effortless, like magic. And there are simple, often surprising tools that can help you get there.

For example, when we run group workshops, I sometimes use what I call “the magic whisper”: somebody presents, the audience gives feedback, then I whisper something in the presenter’s ear as they go out of the room. When they come back and do their piece again, they create a “Wow!”. Watching these real-life transformations is the best theatre in town. What did I whisper? Sometimes it’s: “Do 30 seconds of jumping jacks outside the room and come back filled with energy.” This short exercise energizes their body, gets them breathing from their core, and strengthens their voice.

Or: “As you tell the story, add some dialogue and sensory language to make it come alive.” This activates the imagination of their audience, which creates a short, easy-to-remember movie in their mind. There are hundreds of these little adjustments. They can be easily implemented and have an immediate effect. When I’m on-site at a TED conference with my colleagues, we frequently use them with speakers to make quick upgrades to their talks or performances. The game is always the same. How can I be more of the real, engaging me, in not-natural circumstances?

But these principles are useful well beyond prepared talks. Here are a few suggestions for how to be more engaging in whatever situation you’re speaking, from presenting in a vast auditorium, to a Zoom meeting at home.

1. Train your attention.

Attention is the superpower for connecting with your audience. These days, holding our own attention is already a challenge, and holding an audience’s attention is becoming almost impossible. But when you have your audience’s attention, when they are listening intently to the story you are telling them, you are creating the circumstances for what a TED speaker we’ve worked with, the neuroscientist Uri Hasson, calls “neural entrainment”. This is a phenomenon he discovered while researching what happens to our brains when we listen to stories. It turns out that the more engaged we are with a speaker’s story, the more the patterns in our brains match those of the speaker.

But to get someone’s attention demands something from you: your attention. In theatre we have the principle of the “mirror effect”, whereby what is going on in an actor — emotional intensity, waves of images developing in the imagination, rapid or slow breathing — is mirrored by the audience. Uri has a slightly different take. In one rehearsal for his talk we got into a long discussion about it. “I wouldn’t call it mirroring,” he said. “It’s more like dancing. If you’re just mirroring your partner, that gets boring. Instead, think of it like two partners, coupled and in sync, but not mirroring. Each influencing the other.”

Uri Hasson speaking at TED

So pay attention to the room and be totally present. Notice when your attention is on your audience and when your attention goes to your text, slides or thoughts. Most likely that’s the moment when the audience disconnects from you. The good news? Once you are aware of that, you can “catch yourself” and refocus your attention on the people in front of you. Really see them. It’s not just about “eye contact” — it’s about your eyes plus your full attention.

Great performers can sense everyone in the room and what’s going on with them intuitively. It’s as if they’re listening to the room with their whole body. People sense that and tend to find that presence magnetic.

2. Use stories to make your content more memorable.

We are wired to remember stories. But often we go into a meeting or talk, and we’re focusing on the information that we have to get across — the data, the ideas. We don’t really consider the packaging to make those ideas and data sticky.

Take a few moments to think about what stories or examples can bring your ideas to life. In the audience’s mind, they can have an enormous impact.

A few years ago, my co-founder Abigail Tenembaum and I were working with Esther Perel, the acclaimed therapist and author, on her second TED talk. Esther’s first talk was great. Fascinating, funny, and unexpected. But like all great communicators, she wanted to up her game.

Esther Perel on the TED stage

Esther in conversation has a seemingly endless catalogue of marvellous stories and anecdotes, regardless of the topic. But when she submitted her first draft, Abigail noticed that there were none of these examples and stories. When we reviewed her first talk, we noticed there were none there either. So we worked with her to include actual examples and stories. How did we do it? We just chatted. Each time Esther regaled us with another of her fascinating tales, we recorded and transcribed it. The result not only made the talk more visceral and memorable, but it likewise made it easier for Esther to deliver in real time.

Now, the tricky thing about stories is that in casual conversation they flow from us without thinking. But when we most need a story, what happens? Blank. Gornisht. Nada. We have the hardest time coming up with a good one. The solution? Pursue a version of what we did with Esther. Don’t wait for inspiration; capture stories as they arise. Start keeping track of things that happened to you during your day that could make for relevant stories and examples later on. Create an “arsenal of back-pocket stories”. You need not write the story out. Just two lines are often enough to jog your memory. Most of my clients who do this use a spreadsheet or Trello board on their phone where they jot down these moments. So when you have an important meeting or talk coming up, you need not do the hard work of conjuring up a story. You just open your arsenal and go shopping.

3. Humanize your story.

Connect with your audience on a personal, conversational level. People know when you’re reciting a script. In the theatre world we call it having intentions — the desire to speak to someone like a human being in actual conversation.

I was working recently with the CEO of a startup — an accomplished scientist who has developed a new sugar substitute with a fraction of the calories but none of the downsides. He was preparing an investor pitch and was using science jargon and speaking in a monotone. When I suggested he make the pitch more conversational, he resisted as he had a certain reputation to maintain in his university department. But it’s just the opposite — the more conversational and simpler your pitch, the clearer to the audience your mastery of your topic and your excitement to share rather than to signal your expertise.

One of the most memorable transformations I’ve seen was by an entrepreneur struggling to explain a new technology in a pitch. I set him homework: to speak to people outside of his field and explain the technology to them. He came back transformed (and won the pitch). His method? He approached people in his neighborhood bar, offered to buy them a drink and practiced the talk with them. Having to explain his idea to half-drunk strangers had taught him how to simplify it while keeping it exciting for diverse audiences.

4. Activate the audience’s emotions (and yours).

Your data may impress your audience, but if they don’t feel emotions around it, you won’t move them. As with attention, the mirror effect plays a key role here. Feelings are contagious, and that places specific demands on you — both in how you craft your content, and how you deliver it. For example, if you want your audience to get excited, guess who needs to be excited first?

You need to signal how we are supposed to feel about the information we are hearing. That number you said, is it a lot? A little? That new finding, was it expected? Was it a surprise?

Aristotle thought plot was more important than character. Researchers Yuan, Major-Girardin and Brown at McMaster University are finding he may have been wrong. Their research is suggesting that as we listen to stories, our brains are actually focusing on the psychology of the characters. They found our brains are looking for the emotions, beliefs and motivations of the main character.

But just because we may know this, doesn’t mean we do it. In our first session working with Uri Hasson, there was a funny interchange. Uri had just finished reading his first draft, which was full of scientific gold on stories and how they work on the brain. But the text itself was written like a dry scientific lecture. So we asked him, “Uri, how do you want your audience to feel about what you’re saying?” And he gave us this incredulous look and said, “Feel? This is science! We present data and research. We don’t talk about feelings.”

Today we laugh together about this moment. Uri crafted his talk not only to include his emotions, but as a journey of discovery. Losing none of his scientific rigour or credibility.

5. Engage your body.

We’ve all been in rooms with people who own the space without saying anything. There’s just a magnetism to them, their body radiating emotional energy while barely moving. We convey so much through our physical presence. Yet too often we focus only on our content. We aren’t just heads floating from meeting to meeting or connecting from Zoom to Zoom.

How we feel in our body affects how others feel. If you’re feeling tired in a meeting, guess what? You’re probably making others feel tired too.

One founder I worked with spent most of her day crouched over her computer dealing with emails. For her company all-hands meeting, she’d just stand up, walk from her desk to the meeting room, and then, in her words, “do my best not to just drone on”.

So we created a bit of buffer time between the emails and the meeting. She used this time to focus mentally and warm up her body and voice. She’d do physical stretches, shaking, jumping — and sometimes the occasional mini-dance break. She’d drink a glass of water to lubricate her vocal cords and then hum gently until her throat felt warm and her head buzzed. It changed how she showed up for her team. This time between meetings let her step into the role of “I’m the CEO of the company. I will engage with everyone. I am energised and focused.”

6. Train your voice.

I love voice. Can’t get enough of it. Vocal science, vocal exercises, vocal health. If voice is involved, count me in. When I was younger, I played the cello. I wasn’t very good, but I loved the sound. Only years later did I learn that the cello has the closest range to the human voice of any instrument.

Our sense of touch is our most essential for staying alive, but our sense of hearing is the most important for us to feel close to others. And the way we engage this most intimate of our senses is through our voice.

Colin Firth as the future King George VI, and Geoffrey Rush Lionel Logue, in The King's Speech 

Anyone who has seen The King’s Speech will know that performers aren’t the only people who train their voice. However, you may be surprised by how many non-performers take voice training to become better communicators. Margaret Thatcher is famous for having trained her voice to be deeper and resonate more. Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes similarly developed a supernaturally deep baritone voice that prompted suggestions that it was contrived.

Voice is a complex instrument that includes volume, vocal energy, melody, intensity, pacing and pausing and much more. And like any instrument, it needs warming up and proper care.

You can start the day by humming in the shower, a brilliant place to get your whole vocal system warmed up and aligned. Inhaling steam re-hydrates your cords and clears up your resonators. When you hum, go from the bottom of your range to the top. Then back down again. Do this a few times. Should you feel like breaking into song, go for it! Three minutes of this and you’re ready for radio. (As they say, if you’re ready for radio, you’re ready for anything.)

Voice is about your entire body. When you’re speaking, keep your head, chest and abdomen aligned. Imagine there’s a tube going from the bottom of your lungs to the top of your sinuses — like the chamber of a trumpet. This alignment becomes a giant resonator. It gives you more vocal power. You can see this in action with virtuoso performers. For a treat watch Freddie Mercury at Wembley singing “Radio Gaga” at double speed with the sound off. Even though his legs are bounding around the stage, everything from his hips up remains solidly aligned when he sings.

In those moments where you feel your voice starting to tremble, or you need even more volume, use your feet. A powerful voice comes from an engaged core and starts from the feet. Try having at least one foot flat on the ground when sitting in a meeting or conference call. For extra power, press your foot into the ground. If you’re standing, activate your core by pressing against a wall or table. In actor training, they had us speak from our core by holding a chair or a stool over our head. Maybe awkward in a business meeting...

My favourite exercise with speakers involves humming through a straw — in the air or in a little water. Hum for two minutes and sing something, maybe the national anthem. The action resets the alignment of your voice, the placement of your vocal cords, and the connection between your head, your chest and your abdomen. When your voice is warm, and resonators aligned, it can create a spooky sensation when you speak. Like your voice is coming from your eyes.

Voice is also one of the primary tools we use to give the brains of our audiences what they love most: contrasts. Monotonic speakers are boring and unmemorable for a very good reason. Our brain is built to detect change. With no change to detect, it goes into snooze mode.

If you were to view the sound signature of you speaking, would it look more like the lines of a Beethoven symphony, with its dynamic peaks and valleys, with its well-marked highs and lows, or the flat horizon line of a windless and waveless sea?

To create contrasts, you have five levers to play with:

• Length of phrases — Short phrases vs long ones
• Intonation and melody — Use of bright or dark tones to show if something is good news or bad news/large or small/happy or sad
• Pace — Fast vs slow
• Power — Loud vs soft
• Silence — Sound coming out of the mouth vs no sound

Think of them as sliders on a mixing board that you adjust to create different effects and atmospheres.

7. Deploy visuals and props thoughtfully and strategically.

I’m a huge fan of props and visual aids for talks, to illustrate, to create attention and to be more memorable. But they should be like good back-up singers, never outshining you on stage. Every year at TED, speakers use pictures of brains to make points in their talks; in 2008, the neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor spoke about her stroke while holding an actual brain on stage. Watch that talk, and when Jill says she brought a real brain with her, you can hear someone in the audience shouting, “Yes!” Something tangible and real gets us excited.

Jill Bolte Taylor and prop

Props can also be amazing metaphors, but you need to use them appropriately. Make sure they play a role and don’t just grab attention. And when you reveal your prop, be sure to hold it like it’s the most fascinating and valuable thing in the world. You’ll usually need to show it for twice as long as you think. Watch Jill hold that human brain for a masterclass in how to do this.

8. Craft powerful metaphors and stories.

Symbols and metaphors are powerful. This is especially true when communicating a new idea, where the audience has no point of reference, or when communicating to a skeptical audience.

Yuval Noah Harari has a talk on TED on how humans became the dominant species on Earth because we can coordinate connected flexible action in large numbers. Put 2,000 humans in the Bolshoi theatre, and you have opera; use 2,000 chimps, and you have chaos. That’s because we live not only in the physical, tangible world but likewise in the world of stories. Myths and metaphors shape our thinking.

We use metaphors a ton when we speak. Perhaps a fifth of the time, our spoken language is loaded with them. And most of the time we use and hear them without even detecting them. (Did you notice the metaphors embedded in the last three sentences?) Cognitive scientists Lera Boroditsky and Paul Thibodeau have been doing fascinating research on the power of metaphors to influence the way we think. They found that metaphors can change the kinds of actions we consider, and this happens without us even knowing that it’s the metaphor that shapes our thinking. For example, people see ideas as more exceptional if we describe them as “lightbulbs” instead of “seeds”; people feel more urgency, and willingness to change, if we describe climate change as a “war” more than a “race”; and if we describe crime as a “beast”, people tend to support more hard-nosed enforcement tactics (such as hiring police) than if it’s described as “virus”, in which people favour social-reform solutions such as job-training programmes.

Think of stories as the operating system for the mind. Our mind is constantly mapping the objects in our environment and the relationships between them. It creates meaning from these relationships that define how we act. Stories and metaphors are a way of directly engaging with this OS layer of our audience’s minds. The right story or metaphor, delivered in the right way, can shift their thinking and open up new possibilities for action.

One of my favourite examples comes from Abigail. She was working with the chief financial officer of a global consumer-products company. He was trying to get his team to back a massive strategic change. In classic CFO manner, he shared a lot of data and analysis with his team to motivate them. When they didn’t respond, he just shared more data. He told Abigail: “They were very resistant.”

Dick Fosbury showing his "Fosbury Flop" technique

After three days working with Abigail, he changed his approach. He still used the data, but he added a metaphor: the story of Dick Fosbury and how he rethought the technique of high-jumping with amazing results. This metaphor reframed the team’s thinking. Before the story, they saw the change as a sign they were underperforming and needed to be “fixed”. After, they had a new, more positive view of the situation and themselves. They still had their doubts, but were much more engaged in the conversation, and open to change.

Be deliberate about your metaphors — a great metaphor can go a long way to shaping the whole framework in which someone thinks.

9. Experiment, experiment, experiment.

Experiment, practice, put in the work, and you can achieve extraordinary things. A few weeks ago, I got a call from the assistant of a tech executive I’ve been working with. He’d just given the keynote at his company’s annual summit. The assistant said to me, “He was amazing! I don’t know what kind of magic the two of you did, but I’ve never seen him speak like that.” There was no magic involved. Every week he arranged for himself little experiments to find ways of using the principles we worked on. After six months of regular experimentation, he had found the keys to unlocking his most engaging, charismatic self for any situation. It’s a simple formula, but it leads to tremendous results.

Michael Weitz is the cofounder of Virtuozo, a Tel Aviv-based consultancy that works with executives, leaders and speakers around the world to enhance their abilities as communicators. He spent 10 years in the theatre business as a director and producer of plays and national tours on and off-Broadway. Since 2013 Michael, his business partner Abigail Tenembaum and their team at Virtuozo have been speaker coaches for the TED Conferences. Michael participated in the VOYAGERS Italian Palazzo Adventure in 2019.

This is a story from VOYAGERS, a global community of mission-led people who share weekend adventures and commit to supporting each other. Apply to join at VOYAGERS.io