The Nine Rules of Wile E. Coyote and The Road Runner: A Rosh Hashanah Reflection

When it comes to classic cartoons, I think you are either a Looney Tunes person or a Disney person. With no offense to the Disney folks, I always thought their characters were boring. The Looney Tunes characters had personality. They had issues. Bugs Bunny was a narcissist. I think Daffy Duck suffered from borderline personality disorder--nothing was ever his fault and he had a severe fear of abandonment and inadequacy, in addition to living on an emotional tightrope. My favorite characters, though, were Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner. The cartoons were funny, but simple. And you always knew how it was going to end. Wile E. Coyote could never catch the Road Runner.

Years later, I learned that the deceptively simple Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner cartoon actually had a set of rules. The rules, created by the famed cartoon great Chuck Jones, were fabulous in the simplicity but also their completeness. Here they are:

I thought about them recently (why is not as interesting as the rest of this post, so it will remain a mystery...I'm not as deceptively simple as my subjects).

This season is Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. Traditionally, Rosh Hashanah is a time for reflection of the past year and commitment to betterment in the year to come (draped in the solemnity of Jewish guilt and four-hour prayer services in which we ask God to inscribe us in the "Book of Life," and it's all so very serious). So here I was, in services, deep in prayer, and contemplating how God would judge me in the coming year, and getting caught thinking about the Nine Rules of Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner.

(It's worth noting I was suspended from two different Hebrew schools as a child, so take this all with a grain of kosher salt).

In any event, I realized...these are not just cartoon rules. These are real rules for life, that remind us about how to live.

So, here is my Rosh Hashanah (or to be less religious, or less overtly Jewish, my Spiritual) Reflection on the Nine Rules of Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner.

Number One. The Road Runner Cannot Harm The Coyote, Except By Going "Beep-Beep!"

 How are we harmed by the things we might pursue? Often the things we pursue are oblivious to our own existence. And why shouldn’t they be? We pursue things without soul, or any capacity to give. We pursue things. Or status. Or wealth. Or fame. These things have nothing intrinsically wrong with them. They can’t harm us on their own, except they taunt us. They taunt us just by being there, as something to attain. They capture our attention as they fly by. Why do we notice things that have nothing to offer us?

 Number Two. No Outside Force Can Harm The Coyote--Only His Own Ineptitude Or The Failure Of The Acme Products.

 What is the problem with pursuing things that are good only for feeding our ego? We can pursue things to instill pride in ourselves, to make a difference, to challenge ourselves. But what means do we employ to get there? Do we cheat? Do we lie? Do we sacrifice other priorities? Do we let people down who need our attention? Our own flaws and our reliance on improper means are the risks we must face when we make accomplishment more important than the journey. 

 Number Three. The Coyote Could Stop Any Time--If He Were Not A Fanatic. (Repeat: "A fanatic is one who redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim." ~Georgre Santayana)

Can we act with awareness? Can we stop ourselves when we approach danger? The temptations to pursue at all costs is there because the reward is mythical. But nothing is worth pursuing at “all costs.” There is a cost to every pursuit. We must find balance. 

 Number Four. No Dialogue Ever, Except "Beep-Beep!"

 When we pursue that which we do not need, what is it that impels us to do so? Whatever it is, we fall victim to having “blinders” on. We ignore the voices of reason, both our own and of our friends and loved ones who see our descent. We silence all dialogue meant to help us so that the only voice we acknowledge is the taunting temptation of “come and get me.” We have consciences that are sufficient to question our own motivations, and friends to tell us when we’ve lost our way. There are voices, if only we would listen. 

 Number Five. The Road Runner Must Stay On The Road--Otherwise, Logically, He Would Not Be Called Road Runner.

 The irony of the pursuit is that the luster fades off whatever prize it is. The extraordinary begins to look ordinary. Our dogged pursuit of a dream makes the dream seem familiar. And yet, we can’t let go. We remain stubborn, long after we realize that even were we to achieve what we seek, nothing much would change. The Road Runner never departs the road. It is the epitome of ordinary, and deceptively easy to capture. But that’s the deception. If we captured what we pursued, would we be any better off? Really?

 Number Six. All Action Must Be Confined To The Natural Environment Of The Two Characters--The Southwest American Desert.

 Most of us have a good enough working filter to know when certain fantasies are just that—fantasies. We don’t believe we will be crowned king of a wealthy faraway land. There is no land of chocolate and gold. Sadly, our temptations and our envy for what we don’t have are things we see around us, things other people have that we don’t, things to which we believe we are already entitled. Our most destructive impulses are found in our own habitat. Our sanctuaries become our prisons. How do we appreciate what we have, in the moment in which we live, in the places in which we dwell? The most destructive fantasies are those that seem attainable but ask us to sacrifice something close to us to attain. 

 Number Seven. All Materials, Tools, Weapons, Or Mechanical Conveniences Must Be Obtained From The Acme Corporation.

 There are no shortcuts to success. If we want to achieve a goal, we can’t buy our way to it. To run faster, you have to exercise and train. An Acme rocket won’t do the trick. The Coyote employs every shortcut imaginable, tempted by technology to solve his problems. But he has no faith in himself. He tethers whatever ingenuity he might have to false promises and easy fixes. Technology is a supplement to our own creative energies, not a replacement for them. 

 Number Eight. Whenever Possible, Make Gravity The Coyote's Greatest Enemy.

 The truth always comes out. We can suspend a lot of disbelief in pursuit of what we want, but certain things remain immutable, and those things will come back to thwart us every time. Build success on lies? Eventually, it will catch up to you and crumble. Fake your way to a promotion? Eventually you’ll fail when the situation calls for the skill you fooled everyone into thinking you had. There is an order to things in life, and while we can sometimes appear to succeed in spite of them, eventually it will come crashing down. 

 Number Nine. The Coyote Is Always More Humiliated Than Harmed By His Failures. 

 What comes of our failures when we pursue the ego, the fantasy, the temptations? We have to answer to ourselves. Even before we are judged by others (like our children for whom we set an example, or other loved ones we disappoint, or betray), we have to answer to our own conscience. Living a lie is corrosive to the self. Giving up our humanity to pursue things that don’t enrich us is a waste of our souls. The pursuit may not cost us money, or physical injury. But it may cost you your dignity. 

So there you have it. A very Looney Tunes Rosh Hashanah. Stay away from cliffs and Acme products, and have a healthy, happy new year.

For more essays like this, go to my Insights Hurt(r) blog at www.insightshurt.com.