Nikita Gomez

How did you become involved with coaching classrooms as a teacher?

I don’t know how it happened. It started about six months ago. I was walking to a lecture when I saw a huge yellow beach umbrella and a screen someone had put up indoors in the hallway.?

There were two people standing by the umbrella in front of a screen and some chairs. One of them, she came up to me, said her name was Sheena, and asked how I was doing. What did she expect? With all the confusion that’s been going on in the World, how is anyone doing? I told her. And she listened. I mean she really listened. It wasn’t like she was selling anything. It was like she was there just for me to talk to.?

Sheena asked if I would like to sit on one of the chairs behind the poster, where we could talk more privately. We sat there and talked for ten, fifteen minutes. It was mostly me talking, she just listened. She was a good listener. In the end, I was almost in tears, but the good kind. It was such a relief to talk. Then a strange thing happened.?

The guy put his head round the side of the screen and said there were other people waiting. Sheena asked if I would like to come to a meeting where I could carry on talking, in the same way but with someone else.?

I said I didn’t know but I would think about it. She gave me a card with a date, time and place on it.?

Then the guy came up to me, said his name was Adam, and asked if I would like to share what had happened, why I was crying and what it had been like to talk. Adam held up his smartphone and was about to film me. He asked if it was okay, which I thought was good. When I started telling him what it had been like, the tears came again and I babbled on about how good it felt to get things out into the open, talk about them and be heard. Adam asked if it would be okay to show the clip to other people and I said yes. I mean, I wasn’t ashamed of my tears. They were tears of joy. I felt like a new person. I was late to the lecture, but that was ok.

I went to that meeting. They called it a closed room experience. It was in one of the classrooms and there were about twenty people there all chatting. I didn’t know so many of them but there were a few from my teaching course, so I sat with them. What happened next was a bit strange.?

Adam and Sheena came in carrying an umbrella and two fold-up chairs. They closed the door and went and stood in front of us and set up the yellow umbrella and two chairs. They looked friendly, but a bit serious like they had something to say. When we all went quiet they said we were welcome to the closed room experience where we were going to be talking in pairs, in confidence, and there was going to be a coaching demonstration. They pointed at two chairs that were set out next to the yellow umbrella.?

They asked us to promise each other confidentiality - what we say here, stays here - they said, and we raised our hands to show we agreed.?

They gave us a definition of coaching - a partnership in finding solutions - and I wondered what problems we were going to solve. They asked us what we might be comfortable speaking about with our partners. That got people talking! I could have said something but what was coming up sounded ok to me, as long as I didn’t have to speak in front of the group about it. In pairs would be ok. And then Sheena asked questions about the ideas that were coming up - what was that about, tell me more - and stuff like that. The guy asked questions too. They seemed to be focusing on three or four people near the front of the room. After a while, they asked one of them to come up and sit in one of the chairs.?

I clapped along with everyone else when some guy got up and volunteered. I was glad it wasn’t me. They said he could choose who to have as their coach and he chose Adam, the guy who had videoed me. And there we sat in hushed silence, ready to listen to this volunteer being coached, in confidence in front of us. It felt exciting.

Sheena stood to one side and watched us and the coaching going on. She also looked at her watch.?

The volunteer’s situation was just like mine. I knew what he should do but I was fascinated to hear what Adam would tell him to do. I heard the volunteer really open up and share who he was right there in front of us. It was like watching him grow. He had tears in his eyes at the end too. Just like I had.?

After ten minutes Sheena told them they had two coaching minutes left. I could have listened all day. It was lovely to hear. We all applauded when the coaching stopped.

Then Sheena asked what we had seen. We had seen so much. I didn’t speak up, but others did and they saw what I had seen, and more. They saw how the coach had moved to sit like the volunteer. They saw how he brought every change in voice and physical movement to the volunteer’s attention. I don’t know why that was important.?

Sheena asked what we had heard the coach say. We repeated the coach’s questions. I had not heard them when I had been coached under the yellow umbrella, but while I was watching this guy get coached, I had been taking note of them. They were so good. A short question from the coach gave so much response from the volunteer.?

I didn’t understand the next question. Sheena asked what the coach had not done. I was glad there were others in the room to answer that Adam had not given advice. There was advice. The volunteer said what he would do. I had to think for a minute. Who had said the advice? I know what advice I would have given.

We got to speak in pairs for a few minutes while they set up the next thing so I turned to the person next to me and discovered that she was in her last year of the same teaching course. Coincidence? We compared what we had heard and discovered that we had seen and heard things differently. That was interesting but we didn’t get more time to talk about it. When we looked up from our conversation we saw that the screen had been erected and had a sheet with some words pinned on it.

We were asked if we, as teachers, recognised any of the skills that were named on the screen. Not all the words were easy to understand and there were questions about them. When they had answered them, Sheena asked us to stand up if we recognised the first skill as a useful teaching skill. We all stood up. Then she said to remain standing if we saw the second skill as a useful teaching skill, and the third, fourth until we got to the last one. I don’t think anyone sat down.?

And then Adam came forward and said that all those skills were key coaching skills, and to be certified as a coach - like they were - it was necessary to prove that you had those skills. That got us talking again. We were invited to sit down with a partner and discuss which coaching skill we most needed to develop.

There was a pause for refreshments after which we went back to our places. The question we got next made us laugh. How many of us had given advice to our partner in the conversation before the break? All of us! It was a relief to hear that it is normal in an ordinary conversation, we give advice, we try to help and we share our experience, we give our point of view. And then we had to raise our hands if we would honestly follow the advice we had been given. Ha! Almost no-one.?

Then we were given the instructions for the coaching conversations, to listen, listen in service of your partner so they can come to their own solution. Sheena hung up a poster that read - Elicit your partner’s solution.?

They gave us ten minutes to practise with our partner, focusing on the skill they wanted to develop. That was easy. I needed to develop my listening skills. I spoke with my partner almost non-stop. I paused a bit to hear what she might say that would elicit my solution. She gave me advice. I was disappointed, it felt like she didn’t believe in me. It was harder to talk after that.?

We swapped partners and I got to listen to someone else. I listened but all I could hear were my own thoughts. I made noises pretending I was listening but I was struggling to come up with the right questions. I looked like a fish out of water. I felt like an idiot. Fortunately, it didn’t last very long.

When we had all stopped talking, Sheena asked us if we were interested in being able to hold coaching conversations with other people, or if we had an issue and wanted to be put in touch with a professional coach for a free 1-1 session. There were two lists and we were invited to put our names down or pick up a leaflet with further information. There were some books too, and an online course.

The weekend after, I enrolled in the online course. It has 12 steps I can take to make my classroom a coaching classroom. The first chapter is about positive language, the words in my head and the words in my mouth. I never knew that the word ‘help’ was not positive. I get it now. I want my pupils to feel like they can do anything they set their minds to. If I help them, it’s like saying they need my help and advice to succeed, and that makes them feel like I did when I got advice in the coaching. Disenchanted, powerless. And disappointed.

I have a lot to learn. It’s going to take me months to get through the 12 steps course, there’s so much to read. Thank goodness there are stories to read and other primary school teachers on the course too.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

For the sake of maintaining confidentiality, I have created a composite character based on the many conversations I have had with teachers, to carry the story.