Nightmare on 14th Street

It was a cool, fall morning. The kind where you can smell autumn in the air and just barely see your breath.

For the very first time, Stan pulled into the parking lot of Aerospace Parts 'R Us, off 14th Street and Main. He had never stepped foot inside his new employer's business - he was hired over Zoom and a couple of email exchanges, after all. The IT Recruiter who connected him with the HR Manager enthusiastically believed Stan would be a great "culture fit" for the company.

Stan walked in and noticed an empty receptionist desk, with the computer screen glowing. A clunky ERP prominently displayed a part number and some work instructions. It appeared that a user had forgotten to lock their computer while they stepped away. Stan made a mental note - this was an aerospace company and he assumed the standards were higher.

Stan heard a faint cry for help in the distance.

"Well, hello!" before Stan could investigate the noise, a voice startled him where he stood. He faced who he guessed was the receptionist.

Although Diane had said hello, she was distracted, primarily because the Tik Tok videos that morning were lit, as the kids say, but the company's wi-fi was slow where she sat in the lobby, and faster if you stood in the kitchen.

"You the new guy?" Diane vaguely recalled someone mentioning Stan, but couldn't remember what he would be doing. Maybe the IT guy? She hadn't seen him in a while.

Stan nodded.

"I'm Diane, the office assistant. The office manager, Mike, is working from home today and asked me to get you set up. Follow me," she kept her phone in her hand and motioned for him to follow her down a hallway.

Stan walked right past a sign that stopped him in his tracks.

"Should that be posted like that? Is that wireless internet on your business network?" he asked, not sure if Diane would know the answer. "That's not very secure."

Diane looked at the sign and shrugged. Stan began to realize he had his work cut out for him.

"It's fine. We have a few free virus programs we installed on our computers. Even on the computers people bring in from home," Diane added, which reminded her to talk to Stan later about her laptop and the funny pop-ups she kept getting.

Stan's stomach churned.

Stan heard a creaking sound and that same scream from before - this time, it sounded closer.

"Welp, here we are - here's your office!" Diane waved him into an office around the corner from the lobby, and scurried away.

Stan took a deep breath and sat down, ready to figure out what was first on the agenda. Likely on-boarding and some training, right? Or figuring out what that noise was earlier?

He realized his log-in and password was taped to a Post-It on his monitor. Praying they had MFA, he logged on in hopes to find a prompt to change his password and set up MFA, but instead was greeted with a Microsoft XP desktop.

The screams in the distance seemed to get closer.

Stan got up from his desk and walked back out into the hallway. He ripped down the sign from the wall, knowing he was likely going to be the most hated man there, but had a job to do.

Diane came around the corner at the same time. "Hey - are you going to be around for a bit?" she asked.

"Are you asking for my five-year plan?" Stan asked, suddenly nervous.

Diane laughed, "No way! You guys don't last more than a few months anyways. I gotta run to Target. The CEO just emailed me and asked me to buy $2500 worth of gift cards and email him the numbers on the back. I had no idea he was on vacation in South America, but whatever."

Stan blinked. Was this reality?

Before he could stop her, she was out the door, of course, leaving her computer unlocked and open on that same ERP screen.

"Help! Can anyone help me?!" he heard. It took him a moment to realize that it wasn't an internal voice - that was coming from a room with a glass window in the door. The server room, perhaps?

Stan flung the door open to see a man, curled up in the fetal position under a desk, dress shirt wrinkled and half-untucked. In the shadows, Stan could see the dark circles under the man's eyes, thanks to the many flickering server and switch lights.

"Um, who are you?" Stan asked, almost scared to approach the man. He looked feral and smelled like Funyuns.

"I'm Phil, the IT Manager," the man said.

"No, I'm the IT Manager," Stan explained. "I was just hired, today's my first day."

Phil shook his head. "No, my log-in credentials still work, I just tried them this morning after being out for a while. I'm still the manager."

"Wait. Why are you in here, screaming?" Stan had more questions than a Prime contractor cybersecurity risk assessment.

"Because I can't figure out where some of these connections go. I've been unplugging things to see if things still work on the office's end," Phil said.

"So, you don't know where some of these connections go?"

"Not some of them. But I got stuck in here because that door won't open right."

"Do you think it has to do with the fact you have ethernet cable running under the door?"

Phil scrunched up his face and looked incredulous. "Where else would they go? They need to run from the server room."

He quickly changed the subject: "Oh, hey, will you do me a favor? There's a flash drive I picked up from a trade show a few weeks ago. It's blue and it's on my desk. Will you grab it for me? I'm going to delete the pre-loaded stuff on it and put some of these files from the server to perform some backups."

"You're going to back up files with a free flash drive you got at a trade show?"

"For someone who claims he's the IT Manager, you sure do have a lot of questions."

Just then, the door swung open:

"Phil! You're back! Who's your friend?" a man wearing a polo shirt with the Aerospace Parts 'R Us logo stood in front of them.

"I never left! I was stuck in here until the new IT Help Desk guy fixed the door for us. Leave it open, would you? I think we have to figure out how to re-run those cables. I just realized that's probably what's causing the jam. Anyways, this is Sam."

Stan stepped over the cables and tripping hazards and extended his hand. "Actually, it's Stan, and I'm the new IT Manager." Out loud, he wasn't entirely sure whether or not he wanted to bother fighting for the role.

"Cool, man. Nice to meet you. I could have used you last week. I ran out of disk space on my desktop. I have a guy on the phone now, back in my cubicle. I don't know how he knew there was a problem, but he called and has been helping me. He's from Microsoft. It was hard to understand him through his thick accent, but I think we're good now, since he's remoted in," the man in the polo seemed awfully relieved for someone who was actively facilitating a data compromise.

"I'm back!" Diane burst in with gift cards clutched in one hand and her cell phone glued to the other.

Stan inhaled deeply, realizing he was terrified.

These threats - and risks - were coming from inside the house.

---

Allison Giddens is a small business owner, navigating cybersecurity regulations and supply chain risks. She believes in never-ending training for employees, helping them become hyper-aware of the most common risks.

She also figured LinkedIn needed a little Halloween fun.