A NIGHT IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM

It’s after midnight as I sit down to write my letter this week. So many lessons from this week as I hosted a group of committed learners from our Xperiential MBA program. Life lessons around the power of relationships and being growth minded, to hospitality at one of the finest restaurants, to the grit and teamwork on the path to ring the opening bell of the NYSE, to the importance of remembering the past with an eye on the future from the 9/11 Memorial.

And although I planned to write about all of those, and promise that I still will, I sit here in NY while I just got the news that my youngest? little girl is in the emergency room in Portland. Nothing else matters in that moment. She will be ok, everything is fixable, but that never makes it better in that moment.?

?Now she’s a pretty tough little girl. She can deal with some pretty extreme pain. She called me from the car crying while she was being taken to the hospital letting me know she may have broken her ankle and hurt her knee on the trampoline. But the pictures I was sent would agree with her. The tears she was shedding would agree with her. (We can talk about that trampoline another time.) She kept telling me she just wanted me to be there at the hospital and how much it hurt and how she just wanted to go home and for me to go to sleep with her.

I hopped online and booked a flight home that leaves in a few hours, so I’ll head to the airport shortly and arrive tomorrow morning.? Looks like she will still be in the hospital as she’s sitting in the emergency room currently waiting for a room to open up so they can look at her. ?

Clearly every parent understands the feeling of wanting to take away pain from their child and wish it upon themselves instead. Life doesn’t work that way. Every parent understands the feeling of wanting to make everything better again instantly. Life doesn’t work that way. Every parent?has at one time wished to be somewhere for their children immediately. Life doesn’t work that way.?

There are events in our life and our business that we can’t control. There will be moments of guilt and self-convincing that we could have prevented those events. In those instances we show up, we manage our emotions, we move forward with agency in anything possible, and we make the next best decision.?

As I talked to her on the phone while she was waiting in the emergency room, I made sure she knew I would find a way home. I talked with her in a calm voice and made sure she knew that everything would be ok. It didn’t make everything instantly better, but I could hear her calm down and feel safe. ?

I have some close friends that are with my wife and daughter in the hospital. In these moments I am reminded how valuable close relationships are and how much we need them in our life.?

For someone who fixes problems and engineers solutions for a living, it’s unsettling to not be in control of a situation. In moments like these I am reminded of what's really important. I am reminded that life is not controllable, but it is manageable. I am reminded that all of us will need to rely on someone at times to help.

And I am reminded how sweet it is to know your little girl relies on you to make the world better - always.

Chris Suarez