The Night Before The Event - The Racing Of The Mind

The Countdown has begun.

In less than 12 Hours, I Begin.

My mind is Focused.

Get to the Finish.

I am Unable to go to sleep yet as I still have a few things to complete.

My Minimums.

1 Mile Run.

Write my Article.

I've been in the car most of the day, which also doesn't help with the Restlessness.

Truly, I Feel Restless.

I get like this before Every Large Event.

Running a Race.

Speaking on Stage.

Traveling For a Trip.

There is a mixture of Emotions that twist and twirl inside of me which makes it Difficult both to Stop or Start anything.

One Aspect I try not to Focus on is Not really "One" Emotion.

Something akin to Fear or Terror, though not quite as Strong.

Perhaps Pause is more suited.

It is both Memory of the Past, and also Hard Analysis of the Present.

This is my Third 50k (31 mi) Spartan Ultra Obstacle Course Race.

60 Obstacles.

My first time was "Fine".

My second time was Awful.

Yet, my Training has been Different this Time.

I think about what went Wrong and the Memory reminds me.

But it is not so much a Resistance to Race.

It is just a Reminder.

Pay Attention.

Play It Smart.

Let's do it Differently this time.

Then there is the Anticipation.

Perhaps this is the Struggle most Keen to me.

If I could Start Now, I would.

Let me Do It.

Let me Run.

Let me Go.

But Not Yet.

The Start is at 6 am.

Which "That" is a bit of a Drag.

I've always been a Night Person.

I'd rather Run at Midnight than Run between 4 am and 10 am.

But that is just Not how these things go.

When you play the game, you must work with the Rules.

So, tomorrow it is.

Within all of this, there is also Excitement.

Yes, I find the Act of Pushing my Body to Extremes Extremely Exciting.

Will it be Painful?

Probably.

Almost Guaranteed.

But in that Pain, there is Life.

All Growth has Pains.

It is an Act of Living.

I have seen far too many Dead People Walking.

I Refuse to Die until my Breath is Gone.

Until my Heart Stops.

Until the Lights Fade from My Eyes.

I will Not be part of the Zombified Culture of Nothingness that Exists.

I want to Live to the Fullest.

So I will go Outside my Comfort Zone.

I will Run.

I will Jump.

I will Crawl.

I will Lift.

I will Overcome.

Which brings me to the Mind.

It can be so Difficult to Wrangle the Mind.

1,000 Thoughts a Minute Go Flying By.

Some are Amazing.

Some are Not.

To get Through, Sometimes We Must Slow Down.

Slow Down the Thoughts.

Slow Down the Breathing.

Slow Down the Nervous System.

Slow Down the Heart.

It is Hard to Go Slow.

Both Throughout Our Lives, and Especially During a Race.

My Instinct is to Go!

Faster!

Harder!

Better!

My Competitive Nature Burns within.

Yet, this is a different type of Race.

Burning Too Fast will Turn you to Ashes, Long Before the Finish Line.

The Pace will be Uncomfortably Slow.

Yet, I've gone Too Fast before.

This Leads to another level, Unfathomably Slow.

It makes Uncomfortable look like Sprinting.

I've hit that Second Slow, and it is Awful.

Though, Not as Awful as it would be to Quit.

So, I will take the Uncomfortable Road.

Slow and Stead.

Focus.

Keep the Heart Rate Low.

Ideally under 145.

Electrolytes when Needed.

Calories every 30 Minutes.

If I keep to the Plan, this should be my Best Ultra Yet.

Here's to Tomorrow!