Nice Nancy to Passive Polly?
What does “being nice” mean to you? I personally think our society has a skewed view of what it means to?“be nice”.
Most women in leadership were taught to?“be nice.“
And that’s a problem because to lead, you must speak up, tell the truth, stop following and?lead, damnit.
We all received messages growing up from our parents, teachers and society.
“If you don’t?have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.”
“Tend to your own knitting.” (my Grandmother’s favorite)
“Don’t rock the boat.”?
“Keep the peace.”
I could go on and on…
What were the?“be nice” messages you heard growing up? What has it cost you to be nice?
I am all for being polite in the right context and frankly, with the state of affairs we are currently in, some Mr. Rogers’ manners could go a long way.
But where does “Nice Nancy” turn into “Passive Polly“?
领英推荐
Here are 3 insights and costs of being “too nice”:
1. If you are always putting your own needs to the side because you are focused on meeting your client’s/family’s/friend’s demands you will end up with ZERO time for you and your long term goals. Without time spent on your goals, you just won’t get the results you want?(I work with my clients on this a lot. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.)
2. Guess what type of clients you attract when you have no boundaries and are overly nice? Needy, emotionally draining, controlling, demanding, “swing between victim and bully” types of clients. Having clients like that leaves you worn out, broken down and dreading the next call. Shore up those boundaries and attract your ideal client!
3. Being nice and offering a “discount.” That is not an effective way to run your business. Being “nice” and offering discounts and special deals means you are undervaluing your gifts and not charging what you are worth. Own your value!
So, what is the solution to leaving behind the “be nice” world so that you step into greater levels of success??
You be you, you rock the boat, use your voice. You can be nice and still have great boundaries, find your balance, speak your truth.
Be bold, be kind, own your value, have strong boundaries.
This world needs leaders and truth-tellers.
If this resonates,?let's talk.
https://tandypryorcoaching.coachesconsole.com/calendar/talk-with-tandy-complimentary-30-mins
Mother of 15 kids | Community Builder | TV Producer & Media Strategist |
1 年Tandy Pryor Well said! I just would add is it nice for you to share value in exchange for your lights being cut off for non-payment? #americassupermom
Guiding $250K+ Coaches, Consultants, and Agency Owners to Scale to $1M in An Intimate Community of Luxury and Abundance | “The Perfect Time to Create Your 7-Figure Team”
1 年Nice job reflecting on how this behavior impacts the person and business. Passive Polly is exhausting.
Dominatrix, Author, High Priestess and 7 Figure CEO | Writing a "Eat Pray Love meets 50 Shades" Book | Surrender Expert | Leadership Training for Men and Women
1 年I would also see that the more we as woman stand strong without being angry, the more it will become normal and thus easier for more women to do it. What would you say is the main thing keeping women from doing this?
I guide YOU to your soul-driven success so you make big impact in YOUR world through my New Era Success formula to bring YOU back to YOU so YOU become rich and powerful and leave YOUR legacy. Please review my featured.
1 年Tandy - insight 3, oh my goodness why clients think this is the answer, so glad you are out in the world reminding business leaders that "nice"and "passive" does not equal walkover. Also that you can be Authentic and be authoritative without being unpleasant. Is there a common boundary that client break time and time again, in your experience?
Advisor Helping Clients Invest in Life Fully Lived
1 年This is so compelling Tandy Pryor. I have definitely found my self being Passive Polly more times than I'd like. I feel, like many others, that I can talk a big game in my head about speaking up but when push comes to shove, it's not always easy to do so. I guess this is where the boundaries come in.