Be NICE, don't be NAIVE

As someone who always wore the badge of being nice to others as a mark of honour, allow me to share a candid truth:

'Being nice is great, but it will also lead you to being USED'

That is the truth.

There's a fine line between being empathetic and leading with a good heart, and being taken advantage of.

I know because along my journey, I learned this lesson the hard way.

Throughout my journey, I was often the one who opened doors for others, connected people to opportunities, helped them out in times of need, and even extended financial support to those I were told were struggling.

And in doing so, I genuinely felt fulfilled, thinking I was making a positive impact on those around me.

But what did it truly bring me?

Being used time and time again, overlooked, forgotten, left behind and seen as somebody who people thought they could merely seek from when it suited.

Lets face it, it can be a bitter pill to swallow when you realise that despite your willingness to help, you're seen as someone who can be taken for granted because you're nice and willing to assist.

But who's to blame?

ONLY OURSELVES.

I saw countless instances where those I helped moved on to ventures, forgetting the hand that once lifted them up. I've witnessed people benefiting from my connections and resources, yet failing to reciprocate when the tables turned. I witnessed people who I had poured into financially when they told me they were struggling go on to post on socials, new cars or new 'coaching programs' they were starting.

I saw it all.

And hey, it was never about recognition or gratitude; for me it was about being treated fairly and respectfully for how much I often gave of myself to others.

For me, I realised that the longer I continued down this path, the more I was projecting to the world that I was available to be used, taken advantage of, and ultimately discarded when no longer needed. And that's not something anyone should aspire to be.

I will say here, that yes, you can still believe in the goodness of people and extend a helping hand, but it's essential to set boundaries and make sure there is respect shown equally. Don't allow others to exploit your kindness for their benefit. Value your time, expertise, and resources, and don't be afraid to assert yourself when necessary.

Being nice should never equate to being a pushover. It's about striking a balance between compassion and self-respect.

I learnt from my experiences and find all of what I went through as blessings. They taught me a lot. These days I ensure that kindness is met with reciprocity, respect, and appreciation.

After all, that's how true leaders are born.

So, if you find yourself in a similar situation—leading with your heart but feeling like you're being perceived as nothing more than a 'nice' person, a free resource—it's time to put a stop to it. Being nice doesn't mean being naive.

glennmarsden.com