The Next Step

Isn’t it funny how unexpected things get in the way of incredibly well-thought-out plans?! This week the plan was simple.?

Have an amazingly productive week of work for the team and clients, enjoy Maddie’s last four days of grade school before she enters the fray of middle school, and then golf this morning with my best friend who is more like a brother to me.?Unbeknownst to me we would have major IT issues that would significantly delay some work until Thursday, and I would hit a wall with my half-ironman training and be drained for a few days causing me to cancel the long overdue round of golf.?

The one thing that was non-negotiable that I was able to do was soak in all of the activities surrounding Maddie’s week and man did it tug on the heart string.?Now, I have friends who are empty nesters, some are grandparents, others have kids in grad school and/or med school, and then some thought they were empty nesters yet their kids moved home to figure things out and try to find their way.?

Perspective!

Their kids seem to be at much more significant stages of development in their lives and have a lot more under their belt in terms of life experiences.??

But that does not take away from the significance of the stage my daughter and her friends are at right now and the value I place on it as a Dad. (Do not confuse this awareness for me saying we need to have a blow-out graduation ceremony with caps and gowns. A bit over the top for me when they are 5th graders but that is a conversation for another time along with everyone getting a trophy.).

Yesterday was the last day of school and they had a 5th grade celebratory breakfast for them and their families. As the highlight video played, I stood in the back and started to think about how far Maddie has come since that first day of kindergarten.

There were milestones that I hadn’t thought about in a while and struggles that seemed insurmountable at the time (kindergarten drop-off) and now pale in comparison to the challenges we meet before 8 am every day!

As I glanced over at Maddie during the video I saw her smiling and laughing oblivious to the challenges that await her next year in middle school. Her classmates and she walked through the school as all the kids stood outside their classroom clapping for them and exchanging high-fives as the BMOC one last time.?

Next year they will get knocked down a notch….or two.?

This is enough to scare the living s-it out of parents and I will admit it makes me cringe. Yet, I look forward to it because I know it is the next step in her journey. Isn’t this a lot like being a coaching leader who genuinely cares about their people??

You work tirelessly to help them perform to the best of their ability while preparing them for the next step in their journey.?It is hard to watch them struggle yet you know they need to struggle.

You are intentional about celebrating their wins yet want to keep them humble and hungry.?

There are times when you are having a brutal day and those are the days you need to dial in as a coaching leader to be at your best because they are watching, listening, and learning. And then it happens, the moment arrives when it is time for them to take the next step.?Your role in their journey changes.?

Their needs will be different, the conversations will change, and the significance of the impact you had had on them will not diminish, rather it will become more and more valuable along the way.?

As I work with first-time managers or leaders taking the next step, I am intentional to:

• Push them- Knowing that we only grow through discomfort I want to get them outside their comfort zone, consistently stretching themselves.
• Pull them- There are times when I need to refocus on the vision we have created for their growth and get them dialed into the lead measure and the behaviors that will get them there.
• Support them- They need to know that they can always come to me with anything, and I will simply ask questions and suggestions only if they request. It is so significant to have a psychologically safe relationship built on trust, so they are free to take risks, fail, be vulnerable, and celebrate micro-wins.?
• Give them space- This is where the magic happens. I back off and let them work through the process and think for themselves. It can be a rollercoaster ride for them at times and this is where they develop their leadership voice, style, thought process, and resilience.?

These four actions have been significant in my success as a coach, business leader, and I pray as a parent!