Next difficult conversation whether it’s with an employee, boss, partner or mother-in-law

Is there an important conversation you need to have that makes you anxious, sweaty, or nauseous just thinking about it?

Maybe you need to give someone feedback and you fear they will get defensive and the relationship will become strained, or if it’s an employee, they will become less engaged.

Maybe you fear the consequences of opening the door to your mother-in-law as you don’t know what will come flying through.

Maybe you’re having a conflict with a peer that has created a roadblock in the way you work well together.

Maybe it’s the anxiety-producing, ‘managing up’ scenario where you need to talk to your boss about something they are doing that makes it hard for you to do your job well.

For these important conversations to work, you need more than courage. You need the skills and effective process for preparing and leading the conversation in a resourceful way. Here are some key steps to support you lay the foundation for a courageous conversation:

?? Identify your stories and challenge counterproductive ones by asking quality questions. Such as, ‘what am l telling myself about this person, is it fact or opinion?’

?? Your ability to perform at your best is largely determined by your emotional state you are in. Your state has an impact on your thought process and how you enter a conversation. If you are angry and filled with self-righteous outrage, you will choose very different words for bringing up your issue than if you were calm, empowered and compassionate.

?? Emotional Contagion tells us that if you go into a conversation angry, you are likely to trigger the same in the other person, thereby triggering a response that is unlikely to achieve an outcome you had hoped for. Ask yourself, ‘what response by me would be for the highest good of all involved?’

?? Be clear with your intention for having the conversation. Ask yourself, ‘what outcome would l like from this conversation and is it possible, reasonable and truly desirable’?

?? How you deliver the conversation can escalate or create break through moments. Ask yourself, ‘what is the most impactful, respectful and compassionate way to state my view and invite further dialogue’.

If you want to be the competitive edge in your marketplace, what is one step you can take to ignite a courageous conversation?