Next Adventure: Exceptional Referrals

I've been laid off three times in my career. While each time is different, there are some things that are constant and aren't always part of the knowledge base. "Next Adventure" is an article series that covers some of the basics, especially if you find yourself involuntarily unemployed. These are the things no one tells you!

?My background is not in recruiting or hiring, my voice is from the candidate perspective after spending more than 7 collective years in job search mode. I hope you will find value here, keep helping each other to your next adventures.

Layoffs are traumatic. They are full of panic and fear not just for the people who were laid off, but for those who were left behind. The people who remain miss their coworkers while simultaneously inheriting their projects (usually without a raise). Managers who had to deliver the layoff may be silenced from above and must balance their own feelings with the work that remains.

[Some of the tactics I shared with jobseekers in the last article, Staying Grounded , may be helpful if you, as a remaining employee, need some help reorienting to the your new department landscape.]

Frequently after a layoff, what I see are posts from those still employed that say, "Let me know how I can help." While these posts are well-meaning (and appreciated), they put the onus on the newly jobless to reach out to their former coworkers. This feels overwhelming, embarrassing, and even desperate to some of us, particularly when we are tenured employees who enjoyed our roles. What follows is a guide to what you, as the left behind, can do to help the newly unemployed if you have interest in doing so. I'll share concrete tips for how to be the very best referral, boost your former coworker's morale, give them extra visibility, and what not to say as they progress through their search.

What follows will seem like a big ask. It is. Searching for a job is no longer what it once was and it's exponentially more difficult for anyone over 40, women, the LGBTQ+ community, and quite frankly, anyone who isn't white. If we ask you for help and this request is overwhelming, please tell us and make a graceful exit. We understand it's emotionally exhausting to be wrapped up in someone else's search but we'd rather you can fully commit to a process. Jobseekers are also exhausted and so much of our hopes rely on those still employed (more on that later). So let me say thank you to those who are willing to jump into this. I've been fortunate to have numerous people in my corner, even when I couldn't close the deal, and I'm very grateful to you all.

EASY WAYS TO START

Create a post that highlights people you worked with. Three people or less is a good start (if there are more you want to shout out, create more posts on different days). Check in with these former coworkers before you create the post, ask if it's OK to tag them and if there's anything in particular they'd like you to emphasize about their work. When you write the post, give each person 2-3 sentences, tag them, and request leads within your network. Here's the important part: follow up on the leads. I'll talk more about that later.

Write an unsolicited recommendation of their work on their profile. This is the most amazing surprise to receive while slogging through yet another cover letter! This practice used to give a lot of algorithm weight to profiles with new recommendations, that may have decreased to some degree but still has value.

When someone writes a recommendation, the recipient receives the wording and has the option to post it to their profile, decline it (a rarity), or request revisions to the wording. The logistics of doing this tend to change periodically but as of this writing, you can go to the recommendations section on your own profile, click the "+" and select "give a recommendation." (Note to jobseekers who may be reading this: use the same process to "ask for a recommendation" from someone you'd like an endorsement from who may not have considered giving one.)

Ask if they have companies they are targeting in their search. Do you have people in your network from that company? Introduce the two of them! Check in with your contact from the other company first, ask them if they'd be up for an informational meeting with your former colleague that you so respect. If it's a go, introduce them in a DM (Direct Message) here or on an email, then let them move ahead with scheduling a time to talk.

Introduce your former coworker to people who can directly assist them. Recruiter introductions are helpful, especially contract recruiters, but better is an intro to a hiring manager who has a specific role open that connects with the jobseeker. Send the posting to the jobseeker, if they have interest then contact the hiring manager to find out if they would consider your contact. If so, move forward with an introduction (per instructions from the hiring manager). I'll share more about this when I talk about referrals below.

HOW TO BE A GREAT REFERRAL

I've written two posts in the past about how to be a great referral, so I'm recapping and expanding them here. One of the first directives for jobseekers is "get referrals," as if it were a secret path to jobseeking victory. It isn't. Because that refrain has been so common, recruiters now receive many referrals for each position (and those will still need to compete with internal candidates). Despite these odds, the last statistic I saw said 70% of people get their jobs through referrals (and that number is probably higher), so I recommend that jobseekers try to find a referral for every role they apply for if possible. But it definitely creates a lot more work for everyone, and may not be successful. Personally, I've been fortunate to receive many referrals but no offers came from them. That may be because not all referrals are created equal.

As a jobseeker, we need to choose our referrals wisely.

• How well do you know the person who is referring you?
• Do they understand your strengths and skills and can they "sell" you to the hiring manager as a "must have" candidate?
• Do they have time to spend being an amazing referral for you?
• Are you a good fit for the role or is it just a company you want to talk with? If it's the latter, ask for an informational interview instead and save your referral for a better match.

Referral processes are different in every company. If you want to refer people to roles, find out the details of the referral process from HR before you start the process with the person you're referring. Some processes are as simple as the current employee filling out a form with your internal system (sometimes that's done once and stays forever, sometimes it needs to be done for each role). Other processes require the employee to fill out information internally first, then a link is sent to the candidate who then uses that link to apply for the role. Knowing your referral process before someone asks for a referral saves everyone time, so check it out now while you're reading this! Discovering later that a candidate missed out because the process wasn't correctly followed is disappointing and awkward for everyone (yes, I have been there).

Some companies weight their referrals. When the employee fills out the internal form they may be asked how well they know the candidate (former coworker, former direct report, friend, friend of a friend, etc.). Each of those categories holds weight as recruiters and hiring managers decide who to speak with, the better an employee knows a potential candidate, the better their chances of getting an interview.

Referring someone to a role requires extra effort and time. If you don't have it, please let jobseekers know, we would rather hear that news initially than be frustrated by the referral process. I know how that sounds, but candidates need their referrals to be as invested as they are. While we hope you never find yourself needing a referral, we are happy to return the favor if the need arises! Here are the things my very best referrals have done for me as a candidate:

• They knew their referral process and shared it with me ahead of time so I was prepared with the information I needed for application.
• My referral learned who the hiring manager was for the role, gave me the info to include in my materials, contacted the hiring manager to let them know they were sending a referral, and included the resume, cover letter, and anything else I used to apply for the role.
• After I applied my referral contacted me to say they received notification that my application had been received.
• My referral updated me on any feedback they received on my materials from the hiring manger, and tracked my application status internally.
• They provided me with any information I might need that would be helpful in an interview (questions often asked, made sure I knew the values, basics about the company). Yes, those are things I would usually find in my research and in some cases a recruiter will share this information....but not always.
• My referral checked in after my interview to see how things went. In some cases they circled back with the hiring manager based on my experience.
• If I had issues hearing back from any member of the interview team and asked my referral about it, they checked on the situation and reported back as they were able. They were my best (and only) advocate.

That sounds like a lot, doesn't it? It goes a long way for candidates. I've had people refer me to roles and then fall off the earth completely. In several cases I've applied and heard nothing from recruiters, asked my referral if they could find out what was happening, and I'd hear, "oh, I'm sure it's fine," or worse, silence. You, as the referral, are a potential key to opening a door we really want to walk through. One of my best referrals didn't know me well but when she heard I'd been ghosted after a final interview, she created enough noise that I received a very apologetic phone call from a mortified recruiter who admitted she'd completely dropped the ball. I appreciated that someone I'd only known for a few months was willing to chase down a loose end, the outcome of which made no difference to her career or life. Following all the way through on a referral shows you care about the person you're referring and shows the company they are a viable candidate for the role.

If you're a jobseeker who's looking for a referral, do these things:

• If you don't know the potential referral, ask for an informational interview first. A referral from a total stranger carries the least amount of weight in the referral process and it's unfair to ask a stranger to risk time and reputation.
• Ask about the referral process ahead of time. Will you receive a link to use?
• Give your referral a link to the role you have interest in. Also share the materials you used to apply right away.
• Be polite and respectful of your referral's time! It's the hope that your referral will do all the recommended things on the list above, but don't blow up their email or texts asking for updates every day.
• Keep your referral updated, let them know when you have an interview and who it's with.
• Thank your referral in the best way you can. A small gesture like a handwritten note can be enough.

FOLLOW-UP IS IMPERATIVE

I mean this from both perspectives, the jobseeker and the helper. It's easy to drop the ball and I have certainly done it. But in this market, the follow-up can be a deal breaker. Establish a process to track this work.

• If you agree to introduce people, make sure they connect.
• If you make a referral, try to do all the things on that list above.
• As a jobseeker, if you are introduced to someone be sure you have a conversation and close the loop.
• Thank your referrals and anyone else who helped. Stay in touch with people who give their time and effort, and with people you talk to through the process.

HELPFUL DISTRACTIONS

Jobseeking after a layoff can feel isolating, even when someone is involved in virtual search teams or other search groups. If you can't be a referral, be a friend. We want to see people we enjoy and engage in activities we did while employed. Even on unemployment, we can't afford those extra coffees or impulsive lunch and it's amazing how small things go a long way to helping our psyche. Here are a few ideas for lifting up your former coworkers:

• Schedule a virtual (or real life!) coffee chat to talk about life in general.
• Send a small gift card for them to grab lunch or coffee with a friend.
• Find a time to meet up at a park or trail for a walk.
• Send a grocery card to a favorite spot, or a specialty shop for a little treat.
• A card in the mail is always a fun surprise. Add a sticker for a smile.

I'm lucky to have some thoughtful friends surprise me with things I didn't know I needed. One person sent three bags of coffee beans from a roaster in another state we both like, someone else renewed one of my software programs on the sly, yet another person sent sweet treats along with new coffee to try and a fun sticker by number book. I had no idea any of these things were coming and they all gave me the strength to crank out just one more resume. Grateful does not begin to describe how I feel about these things.

WHAT NOT TO DO

It seems strange to detail these suggestions, but since I've heard all of them multiple times, this seems a good opportunity to put up a flag. Candidates absolutely understand former colleagues and friends want to help, but in this emotional process, sometimes comments land differently than intended. Here are a few things to avoid saying as you work to help others.

Ask, "what are you looking for?" I understand this makes no sense, how can we help others if we don't know their direction? Here's the thing. Not everyone knows their direction and it's anxiety inducing to be asked this question by everyone we speak with. Some people may be so shell-shocked they have no idea if they are burned out and want a change or if they want to continue doing the same work in the same industry. Some know they want a change but haven't identified what that is yet. Generalists like me struggle to identify titles (and sometimes even companies) since we are accustomed to taking on a variety of work in a variety of places (and by the way, we are tired of being told to "pick a lane" but that's another post I already wrote ). Instead, try "Is there a particular company you're targeting or an industry you'd like to work in?" This opens the door for you to make introductions in your network.

Go straight to the resume. As someone in a search for an extended time, it's often assumed that my resume is a "problem." It's not. It has been overhauled more times than I can count (by me and everyone else), and it gets me interviews. I repeatedly see people asking for help in their search and the first question posted is, "have you revised your resume?" It's frustrating to constantly be on the receiving end of this. If you have an expertise in building resumes (and by this I mean you do it professionally), by all means offer your services (for free or low cost). But if you don't, try "is your resume getting you interviews?" If that answer is no, or it hasn't been redone in 10 years, then a kind, "I'm happy to look it over and make some comments which you can take or leave."

You'll be snapped up in a minute. (I'm guilty of saying this.) We have all had amazing coworkers who we know will excel in another location. The reality is that there is a whole lot of bad process and flat out bias in the hiring process right now. I've been in search groups with people who have accomplished amazing things in their careers. Many of them are 50+ and have been on a search for more than a year. They should be snapped up, but they aren't. Even incredible workers do not get the time of day, so telling them they will be snapped up feels like a compliment, but may be setting them up for sadness. For those of us who had no issues finding great roles in our early careers, things change as we progress in our skills. The layoff coupled with the constant search rejection is extra deflating for the person who once moved from role to role simply because someone asked. Job search right now is a couple marathons and definitely not a 5K.

Use caution when reaching out to a former coworker to ask them to help a jobseeking friend. I've actually had strangers ask me for help getting a role with the employer who laid me off. It's not that I don't want to help, but I'm not feeling very benevolent towards that employer at the moment. I've met with literally hundreds of people during my most recent layoff, to help guide them to resources, review resumes at their request, and adjust LinkedIn profiles. I'm out of energy and time, and it's part of the reason I've written these articles, so people can still be helped while I focus on my own future. Please especially have compassion about asking the unemployed to help you change roles when you already have a job.

Don't make job search the topic of all conversations. We are so tired of talking about it. If we want to talk about it, we will bring it up. But generally if we are hanging out with you it's because we want to do something besides thinking about being unemployed. Also, and I can't stress this enough, if you came from the same company, avoid discussing the problems of the company today. Most of us lament not getting some projects across the finish line and hearing updates on them makes it harder. During my first layoff I did everything I could to avoid lingering in my neighborhood because my well-meaning (but also nosy) neighbors would immediately ask if I had found a job yet.

"Why don't you just get a survival job?" I can't count how many times I've heard this one. "Survival jobs" generally exist in service, retail, and hospitality. This means wonky schedules, long hours on our feet, and not great pay. As someone who has worked retail sales floors for much of my career, I can genuinely say that the survival is more about getting through that day of work rather than padding the bank account. By the time we get home from a job like this, there is no brain power to search for and apply to other roles. I know, I've tried to do it on multiple occasions. A job search can easily become a job in itself. While I choose to be very strategic about how and what I apply for, and limit my search hours for my own stress levels, it would be very easy to spend 8-10 hours a day on this activity.

The company research, materials prep, networking, and interview prep add up quickly. With one company alone I spent an estimated 6 hours on material prep, company research, and interview prep, spent an additional 4 hours in interviews. Roughly 10 hours spent on one role, which I was not offered. Multiply that by the other 15 companies I interviewed with over several months and one starts to see how the hours add up. At one point I interviewed with four companies simultaneously, activities not possible while holding down a "survival job."

THANK YOU

I appreciate that some of the "advice" in this article may have been hard to read. All of us will handle our layoffs (or being left behind) in a different way. There are so many people who have helped me during my extended layoffs, and who did wonderful things that I've been able to share here. I've done my best to thank them and to pay it forward.

There are five additional articles in this series that are specifically targeted to jobseekers: Navigating Unemployment Benefits , Outplacement Services , Jobseeking Resources , Networking , and Staying Grounded . Please feel free to share these articles with people who need them, and be sure to check the comments on each posts, as others have been adding helpful additions.

I am sending you all of my luck and best karma for you in your job search.

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